I recently stumbled across the BBC series, “The World’s Strictest Parents”, featuring a Utah Mormon family. They agreed to host two wayward British teens for ten days in their Utah home, in hopes the youth will find the straight and narrow. (more…)

The temperature has already cooled down for us in the great valley of salt. As I look at the thermometer this afternoon, the mercury reads 64, and it’s still August! The sun is lower in the sky, and the fading verdure of my neighborhood suggests change. Fall seems to have come to this valley- without any warning- and the summer of twenty-ten is soon to be a distant memory. (more…)

My kids have been in school for three weeks already, but the rest of the neighborhood just started yesterday.  Because the money is so tight this year, most of the bus stops have been eliminated and my kids have to walk about four times further this year than in previous years.  This works out fine for me because my kids are getting older (6,8,9) and there are three of them to watch out for each other, but still, for the first two and a half weeks of school I took the long walk with them until they felt really comfortable getting to the bus on their own.

Yesterday was only the third time I let them walk to the school bus without me, they were totally over me and totally confident about the route. It’s great to watch them build confidence and independence.  Right? (more…)

I picked this post of Lisa’s for Archive Sunday for a lot of reasons. It demonstrates wonderfully the things I love most about her writing style - how she’s wonky, yet straightforward, and makes assertive statements while still allowing room for disagreement. It also pinpoints darn near exactly how I often feel about the land of my birth: So much potential, yet so much frustration. The things I love most are loudly castigated as “un-American” by those who disagree, and the things that make me hang my head in shame are glorified in country music and elsewhere. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some country, but…. “We’ll put a boot up their ass, it’s the American way!”? …………….. No quiero identificar, por favor. Anyway, this post is a great reminder that we can all take our nation/organization/movements into our own hands, and realize that being an American/Mormon/feminist is exactly what we make it mean.

Originally published June 20, 2006.

by: fmhLisa

I admit that I’m often annoyed by the whole, “I’m not a feminist but . . .” line that I often hear round these parts. It is my opinion that your average moderate women should be perfectly comfortable embracing the word feminist. Despite all the spin to the contrary, “feminist” doesn’t mean man-hating baby-kicking lesbian sans bust support.

So what does this have to do with patriotism you ask? Well . . . (more…)

By Risa,

Lest someone think I’m trying to contradict fmhLisa just to be ornery, I must start this off with a disclaimer.  She asked me to write it!

In fmhLisa’s essay “Defending the Patriarchy,” she talks about growing up in Southern Utah in a household where her father definitely presided.  She said, “it was a lovely, idyllic childhood.  I felt safe, loved, and excited about life.”  Those words really resonated with me.  I had a similar childhood.  While not perfect, my childhood was boring, normal, and stable.  I also felt safe and loved in my home by my parents.  I too grew up excited about life.  The big difference was the marriage that my parents had was egalitarian.

Let me explain. (more…)

This post was poached from Honoree Fannone Jeffers personal blog.  Dr Jeffers is a poet and associate professor of writing at the University of Oklahoma.  I had the good luck to meet her here in Cheyenne 5 years ago when she was one of the authors at our annual Literary Connection Conference.  Everyone there remembers her powerful voice; 5 years on I’ll still get stopped by someone in the grocery store who tells me, “you were there weren’t you?  Wasn’t that something?”  It was.  If you get the chance to hear her live; go.  Until then you can buy her books. 

I was reminded this morning that today is Women’s Equality Day. On August 26, 1920 American women were granted the right to vote, and the Nineteenth Amendment to the US Constitution was ratified. And indeed, this is a great day in history.

However, for Black women in this country, it’s not really a day that we can celebrate as a definitive moment.

(more…)

By: Zhen

As mentioned briefly in Nat’s previous post, people from Asia often equate American greed and over-consumption to the visual of obese people. My post today is to expound on these ideas of consumerism on both the global and local scales. Yay, Glocal!

The consumerism in this country is a big mess of a problem stemming in part from the refined art of creating demand for things we really don’t need (ie. marketers doing their jobs too well. “Advertisement is the art of capitalism,” quoting David Harvey). As a one and a half generation Chinese, I still carry with me values of conservation and creative reuse. Our family turned off lights, shopped at thrift stores, grew our own food, and used composts even as income increased. I was raised with these habits before eco-consciousness became a buzzword. But the culture has changed in China and for the rapidly growing wealthy class, it’s about the bigger cars, bigger houses, latest gadgets, material-focused lifestyle. There’s also the fat camps for little emperors
(more…)

by Shelley,

I’ll be leaving on a mission next month.  I’ve wanted to serve a mission for as long as I can remember.  I always thought Sister missionaries carried a quiet confidence that I never saw in anyone else, and I remember how much the idea of telling people about Jesus for 18 months appealed to me even when I was little.  I’m a little nervous, but mostly excited.  However, there is one issue that I can’t quite calm myself down about.
(more…)

I have the amazing luck to work with a lot of immigrants from all over the world. I’ve become friends with many of them, and have spent a good deal of time learning about their home countries, their families, and their traditions. Most of them are here with none or only part of their families. I’ve especially treasured the moments when they’ve brought their photo albums and flipped through pictures of their weddings, the births of their children, and memories of their home.

One of my co-workers is living here by himself. His wife and very young daughter are halfway across the world. He’s visited them only once since he’s lived here, and carries pictures of them with him at all times. We’ve pored over his wedding pictures together, and he’s so proud of his adorable baby and beautiful wife.

So you can imagine my astonishment when he said recently, “I couldn’t sleep well last night. I think I need a girlfriend.”

I kindly expressed my dismay to him, mostly by confusedly pointing out, “But your wife!” He protested mildly, so I asked, “Well, if you can have a girlfriend, can she have a boyfriend?”

A look of something akin to terror crossed his face as he shook his head vigorously. I (probably unwisely) pressed the subject a little more, saying, “But, if you can have a girlfriend, why not? Isn’t it the same thing?”

His answer? “Men have more rights.” (more…)

(A friend of mine wanted to know if she was crazy for wanting to speak up, if perhaps it wasn’t sometimes more loyal to speak up, instead of just walking away.  I thought she needed to read this post today. LB) Original Posts Here and Here.

Part I: 

Last week’s Sunday School lesson concerned the woman at the well. She fetched water in the middle of the day, theoretically to avoid those in her community who would ostracize her status as a 5-times divorcee living with a man without the benefit of wedlock. By choosing to speak with her, Christ not only converses with an adulterer and a Samaritan (considered apostate sell-outs by the Jews), He chooses her as the first person to whom He reveals His divine identity. My whole life I’ve heard people fuss over this story, and rightly so. But lately I’ve been pondering that Jesus wasn’t just showing us what a great barrier-breaking hippie He’d make or offering some patronizing lesson about extending kindness to even “the least of these.” The woman at the well starts the story on her community’s fringe. She leaves the well to become Christ’s first evangelist; she becomes central to Christian communitas. By the story’s close, she isn’t the “least” of anything. (more…)

by Cha Cha,

I’ve been married for four years now and have yet to have any children. My sister-in-law was married for only six months before she became pregnant.

Since the time that my sister-in-law began gushing to our ward members about her impending child, I have had more and more people come up and ask me whether or not I was feeling the pressure to have children, as though I was supposed to be competing with my sister-in-law on the number of babies we both have [Edited]. Sick. Other folks have asked, “Well, when are you planning to have children?” My answer is usually along the lines of “I’m gonna have to figure out where I left my uterus before I can do that!” and these people tend to laugh and leave me alone about the matter.

(more…)

The other day I was wandering around a Barnes & Noble store. I made my way to the restroom, and on the women’s restroom door, noticed a bright, big, colorful sign that said, “BABY CHANGING STATIONS!!” Out of curiosity, I glanced down the hall towards the men’s room. And lo and behold, the same sign was posted there!

I’ve noticed in many malls and large buildings, there is often a men’s room, a women’s room, and a family room. Obviously, this is awesome. Such steps enable fathers to participate in the care of their families as fully as mothers do. I wasn’t around 30 years ago, but I feel like such steps are fairly modern. The notion that men might have to change their child’s diaper certainly didn’t make an appearance in the talk by Pres. Benson put up below by Not Ophelia.

The feminist movement has accomplished unspeakable amounts of good. We vote, we own property, we work outside the home, we divorce abusive husbands, we get public assistance for our children when our income is insufficient, we are protected from sexual harassment in the workplace. These are all things that we often take for granted now, but which our foremothers, just a couple generations ago, were unable to enjoy. (more…)

(This talk has been discussed a lot on fMh - especially in ECS’s post. I get the feeling though that a lot of people have never read the the entire thing. So here it is. Enjoy.)
.
.
President Ezra Taft Benson Fireside for Parents
22 February 1987

I rejoice in the opportunity of being with you this evening.

I have been touched by the beautiful music and the splendid instructions we have received.

There is no theme I would rather speak to than home and family, for they are at the very heart of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Church, in large part, exists for the salvation and exaltation of the family.

At a recent general priesthood meeting, I spoke directly to the young men of the Aaronic Priesthood regarding their duties and responsibilities.

Shortly thereafter, at a general women’s conference, I spoke to the young women of the Church, discussing their opportunities and their sacred callings.

Tonight, at this fireside for parents, seeking the sweet inspiration of heaven, I would like to speak directly to the mothers assembled here and throughout the Church, for you are, or should be, the very heart and soul of the family.

No more sacred word exists in secular or holy writ than that of mother. There is no more noble work than that of a good and God-fearing mother.

This evening I pay tribute to the mothers in Zion and pray with all my heart that what I have to say to you will be understood by the Spirit and will lift and bless your lives in your sacred callings as mothers. (more…)

In case you haven’t heard, the LDS Church is spending lots of money on a new public relations campaign, which you can view here.   As others have mentioned, I have mixed feelings about this campaign.

I have mixed feelings about the campaign because it prominently features women with small children who choose to work outside the home in demanding careers.  For instance, I loved this profile of Emily Sherinian, who works in international development and frequently travels all over the world to “improve the lives” of the less fortunate.  She has three small children, and her husband works full time as well.  Emily’s profile, however, also makes me angry. (more…)

After reading Stephanie’s excellent post, please watch this amazing interview with Carol Lynn Pearson.  You will be glad you did.  (Thanks to John Dehlin and Mormon Stories for putting this together).

DH and I are reading the Old Testament together. We just started at the beginning and are reading all the way through (even those painfully repetitious chapters in Leviticus).

Tonight we read Judges 19. As we read, it began to sound familiar. A man takes travelers into his home, the people of the city bang on the door because they want to “know” (rape) the men, and the man of the house offers his daughter. I swore I had heard that before, so I flipped back to Genesis 19. Sure enough, it was almost the identical story! (more…)

Choosing an archive post is always an impossible task - like choosing only one dessert from the dessert cart - but this post has always had a special place in my memory. I have used this story in YW lessons, I have passed it along to friends, I just think it’s a beautiful message. The original is here.

Ack! I left off the original author of the post! What a terrible faux pas. Thanks for spotting it Melanie! This beautiful post was originally written by SueM of Navel Gazing at its Finest.

I was a miserable teenager. I really was. I think I went a little crazy from 15 to 19. I remember that time as sort of a fevered nightmare, murky and dark and awful. I wasn’t acting out in the way that you would expect a troubled teenager to do, I was just incredibly lonely. Lonely and angry and sad. I was awkward and emotionally immature, poor with really bad clothes, and lacking the personality or attitude to make all of that something you could overlook. I existed in a haze of gut wrenching self hatred and distress.

(more…)

A few years ago when fMh was profiled in Bust magazine, the article closed with a question about raising my daughters in church so full of inequity.  I said it is something I worry about very much,  but I think about my own mother and all the things she taught me about being a strong women, and I hope I can be that kind of example for my daughters.

But then my son started to grow older, and I realized I had an equally troublesome worry, the corrupting influence of (priesthood) power.  My son is very naturally fond of power, if given so much as control of the gum he squeezes every last morsel of clout out of it.  I can see him in  a few years being one of those delightful CTR8s who informed me, their teacher, only half kidding that of  course boys are better than girls, boys have the priesthood.  I don’t know that he’ll be able to help himself, he’s got a little devil in him that loves to make trouble and push boundaries (a delightful little devil that I adore, but a little devil none-the-less).

I can’t help but think that all the entreaties in the world ‘to lead with persuasion, gentleness and meekness,’ will not be nearly so powerful to a personality such as his, as being in the giddy possession of a power to which his sisters and I have no access.

Cross-posted at Beginnings New

At our snacker a while back, Carol Lynn Pearson shared with us a letter she wrote, in the character of Joan of Arc, to the girls attending a local Girls Camp. I begged her for a copy and she has agreed to let me share this beautiful, unpublished, work. Enjoy. - RD

This letter was received and transcribed by Carol Lynn Wright Pearson in Walnut Creek, California, a close friend of Joan, the Maid of Orleans.

The Month of June in the Year of our Lord, 2010

Dear Young Women of Payson, Utah, United States of America,

I was deeply honored to be informed that you have chosen me as your “hero, mentor and source of inspiration” for your camp week.  Over the centuries, as I have observed the comings and going of history, I have watched in amazement as many works have been created in my memory –operas, plays, statues.  I never intended such.  But as I see the eyes of the visitors who pause at the gold-gilded statue of me on my horse, banner raised, at the Place des Pyramides in Paris, or the eyes of an audience watching a play that details my life–I see something so fine!  I see sparks of a fire.  Not the fire that consumed my poor and weary body at the end.  But the sparks of a better fire–one that inspires people to find the light within them and hold it high and be true to it. (more…)

by Donnell Allan

[I originally wrote this when I was then in the throes of bipolar disorder, on the depressive end of the poles, unable to function without leaning hard upon my dear husband.]

I needed to visit a store yesterday to pick up something necessary for a creative project, so in the hour before the stores opened, my husband and I took our early-morning Saturday walk in the shopping district of downtown Olympia.
There, on the Fourth Avenue sidewalk, we were approached by a tall, bony woman with a story to tell:

She had been living at the Salvation Army.
Some of the other women didn’t like her so she had been forced to leave.
She didn’t know what she was going to do as she lacked even the necessary bus fare to get to her job.

Could we give her just a dollar or something to help her out?

“And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.” Mosiah 4:16 (more…)