Intro pages notwithstanding, some confusion has been expressed over who’s who at FMH. Since we’re all concerned about truth in representation post-Bannergate and least any of you think any of us have multiple internet personalities, I’ll attempt to clarify who’s who in the six potentially confusing cases: the three of us with names derived from Elizabeth, and the three goddesses. I doubt anyone has been confused about the identities of Kris or Rebecca, but let me know if I’m wrong and I’ll try to help out there, too. (more…)

A number of women in my branch have complained to me(as a member of the RS presidency) that they have not been able to partake of the Sacrament because a brother “guards” the door to the chapel and will not allow anyone inside to take the Sacrament or allow a Deacon outside to pass the Sacrament to those in the foyer.
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So, when I was in college, I had a plan. In fact, I was all about plans. I was going to get an English teaching degree and teach teenagers and make English fun, because I find it fun and I like teenagers. I relate. This is probably due in large part to the fact that I do not have my own teenagers. However, I focused on the ‘English’ part of this plan almost exclusively until my mission and when I returned and started taking the ‘teaching’ part of my major, I discovered that I really did not like the College of Education’s methods for molding us into teachers. The fact is, it seemed that only one mold was acceptable–theirs–and it seemed to take the fun out of my, admittedly then-untested, philosophy of teaching. (I have since applied my ideas to my sunday school kids and found that I was right after all–at least with my sunday school kids.) So I dropped the education emphasis and, after consulting with one of my professors, packed together a rather late-in-the-game editing emphasis. After all, what good is an English degree without an emphasis? Besides making you a terribly interesting, well-read, think-for-yourself kind of person, of course…. (more…)

Admin Note: Our readership isn’t actually down. It’s way, way up. Way up. The concern (I think) is that many of our fMh “regulars” and bloggernacle “stalwarts” and even the percentage of women commenting seem to be down. (LisaB, fix this if I’m not correctly articulating your concerns) Nope, you got it exactly. I’ve been missing many of our regular commenters. -LB

If you’re someone who has been reading and/or commenting less, help us out here with this quick poll. Respond with a comment or shoot us an e-mail.

Supply the numbers of all that apply to you:

1. I’m seeking better balance in my life. That means less time blogging.

2. Ya’ll are just too conservative for me.

3. I was offended that my FMH T-shirt was Barbie-sized instead of real-person sized (ie way to tight). Not to mention that once I got it, I couldn’t muster the courage to wear it outside. Waste of my money.

4. Not interested in recent topics. What I REALLY want to talk about is ___________ (please fill in).

5. I’m so confused! Too many Lisas to keep track of. [Meanwhile, another reader asks “There’s more than one?”] (more…)

Well, I meant to write a Thanksgiving post on Thanksgiving Day, but I was spending the day with family, so I feel no guilt. However, I feel strongly that the Thanksgiving holiday should get its due and not be just a little bit o’ preparation for Christmas. Thanksgiving, in my mind, should be one of THE most observed holidays and I’m grateful that, somehow, it seems to have escaped the commercialism of other well-intentioned and religious holidays. Really, the only businesses that really get a boom for this one are the grocery stores and I’ve noticed that they do a pretty good job of taking the opportunity to support the local food banks, so more power to them. (more…)

Our ward seems to have an ongoing problem with time-keeping. It is a very rare day when sacrament meeting starts on time. There are often too many speakers and it regularly doesn’t end on time (especially on fast Sundays). Not long ago a member of the bishopric was released and a new one called. All counsellors, new and released and their wives were asked to bear testimony. My kids were fractious that day - nothing new - as it got closer to finishing time, the 2 year old got worse. He was taken outside by his dad, and his older brother followed, leaving me and the baby in our pew. The last of the counsellors finished. It was 12.00. I thought okay, it’ll run over slightly to sing the closing hymn, but no. The Bishop stood up and started a talk. Stressed with misbehaving kids and an infant who just wanted to go home for her lunch and nap, I couldn’t believe the Bishop wasn’t closing the meeting. Frustrated, I picked up the baby and we left. I said to my husband (a little too loudly) as we met in the hall, “someone should tell the bishop that the spirit leaves the meeting at the time it’s supposed to finish.” I know I know - hot headed (must be the Irish blood!) and an inappropriate place - I should have waited until we were alone - but I really felt that to be the case.

I’m sure I’ve heard that said, and tried without luck to find the quote (maybe someone can help me out here?) I’m not saying that I think that the Spirit keeps a time schedule, but I do think time-keeping at church matters, and I think people’s ability to feel the Spirit is diminished ‘past closing’ as most will be clock watching, and not paying attention to the speaker.

This is not going to be a lengthy post because it’s mostly a question.

Several FMH (and other Bloggernacle) writers and contributors have commented of late regarding their incredulity at man’s inhumanity to man (gender neutral, of course) and asked questions about forgiveness, mercy, justice, the fairness of subjecting ourselves to one another’s free exercise of will, and also of the wisdom of doing so. Of course we are back to the premortal, Jobian question “Is it possible to maintain faith in God even in the face of the worst? Or are we only good because we are compelled (by circumstances or reward) to be?” I can answer this question and maintain faith more readily for myself than I seem able to as a proudly protective mother.

I guess the question here is how? How do you all keep hope alive in the face of atrocity, unadulterated evil (how’s that for an oxymoron?), violence, etc.? What has convinced you that God’s grace IS sufficient to redeem us? And not just us but “them” too?

Please check out Hugo’s post from yesterday on girls, boys, dress and desire. It’s a well written piece (everything Hugo writes is well-written) discussing a topic that’s rather recurrent around fMh, regarding who’s got responsibility for scanty teenage girl clothing and active teenage boy libido and, really, the larger topic of whether women and their dress are responsible for men’s sexual desires. Oh how we love to discuss this!

I think Hugo’s take on the issue is one of the best balanced, on-the-nose sort of opinion on this topic. This excerpt from some counsel he gave to some boys in his youth group, sums it up nicely:

What I said to the boys was something like this: “I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with noticing girls. I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with fantasizing about them! I do think there’s something very wrong when your focus on their bodies makes it impossible for you to also see them as people, as friends, as human beings. When you find yourself noticing a girl’s body, and staring at her skin, I don’t want you to beat yourself up. But I don’t want you to make her uncomfortable either.”

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A thread on another blog discussing correlation and the curriculum at church, got me thinking about one of my pet peeves. (Short rant ahead!) (more…)

OK, here are the ground rules for the following two posts. If you want to post about torture or the current administration’s abhorent torture policies, post on Rich’s guest post.

If you want to talk about teaching our children to have moral courage, the fallout of violence, female power or such things post on my Reaping the Whirlwind post.

And Rich darling [and anybody else out there] if you have a guest post you’d like to make please contact one of the permabloggers. We can help.

NO

Rich wanted this to be a guest post and posted it to the end of my “Reaping the Whirlwind” comments. I’m reposting it here so we can keep the threads and ideas separate.

NO

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With the recent revelations about clandestine CIA prisons, and the Vice President and President arguing that the CIA be exempt from any legislation that would curtail or end the sanctioned torture of other humans as a “necessary” component of this Administration’s “war on terror”, I find this outrageous and on-the-verge-of-tyranny frightening. Am I alone in my bewilderment that our leaders have been stone silent on the subject? While I’ll be the first to admit that the Church needs to remain apolitical, I thought our leaders would speak up when the moral compass of the nation began to turn. (more…)

The bullying thread and it’s off-topic meanderings got me thinking about our violent society and the fall-out from it all. About how bullying can corrupt the soul. How bullying can even be institutionalized/sanctioned by authority. But mostly about how partaking in institutionalized bullying can warp and corrupt all but the most morally strong.

I don’t pretend to know the answers to the bullying problem, but I stand by my comment that violence breeds violence and doesn’t solve the underlying societal problems around us. We must stand up for ourselves, but only in righteousnes; there must be a better way than beating those who would beat us.

Justified violence leads to abuse of power and people and eventually comes back to haunt us both as a society and in an eternal way. Remember the scriptural warning of Hosea — For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind. I think about that scripture a lot in these troubled times (more…)

Here’s a bit of news I ran across–a professional brothel owner is planning to open a ‘resort’ with male prostitutes to service female clients, going to be called ‘Heidi’s Stud Farm’. I admit, the ick factor is high for me on this one, though I suppose it’s not really higher than the ick factor I have for female prostitute resorts, just a different realm of ick. ICK! The only thing is, I would be more concerned about abuse happening with female prostitutes–somehow I don’t see that as likely with serviceable guys. I also must admit to wondering a little… what would these guys look or act like…. But that’s as far as I’m going. Too much for me!!

Here’s the feminist link; in the AP interview, they quote the owner’s attorney:

Richards said in the letter that a male brothel would “address an ever-increasing fact of life,” because “society is witnessing a unique evolution of the female gender reaching out for the same service we now offer male clients.” In an interview, he elaborated: “Say a guy gets into an argument with his wife. What does he do? Lot of times, he goes out, gets a drink, goes to a place to be serviced. Now women can say, ‘Hey, if you can do it, I can too.’ ”

Um, yay for gender equality?

“I’ve seen the devil of violence, and the devil of greed, and the devil of hot desire; but, by all the stars! these were strong, lusty, red-eyed devils, that swayed and drove men- men, I tell you. But as I stood on the hillside, I foresaw in the blinding sunshine of that land I would become acquainted with a flabby, pretending, weak-eyed devil of rapacious and pitiless folly. How insidious he could be, too, I was only to find out several months later and a thousand miles farther.”

~Joseph Conrad, ‘Heart of Darkness’

It’s one of those ‘famous’ quotes in English lit. classes and provides much fodder for discussions of ’strong devils’ vs. ‘weak devils’, strong devils being those who actively cause trouble and/or evil and weak devils being those who allow evil to happen, essentially spineless and happy with as much unthinking comfortableness as they can get away with. Given a choice, I think most people would prefer to be a strong devil rather than a weak one. I mean, if you’re going to be bad, why not be good at it?

Some people wonder why other people get involved in activist causes or, within the LDS world, why other people would question this doctrine or that policy (call it religious activism), especially when doing so seems, to the unquestioning, to be unfaithful, on the grounds that to question or doubt supposedly chases away faith. I disagree. In fact, I think it’s the other way around–that to stay comfortably cocooned in a security-blanket version of ‘faith’, unquestioningly accepting the pat, correlated, Sunday School answers and insisting on shelving the hard questions is not real faith. (more…)

Hope you’re reading. I’ve only just read the first chapter (just got my book from interlibrary loan! I heart libraries.) and I’m totally into it. Very interesting.

Due to my impending hiatus, I’ve moved the discussion back a week to December 13th.

Also, a reminder that our Jan/Feb book will be Bradley’s Pedestals and Podiums. If you’re poor like me, you better get it requested at your library soon.

Well my darlings, I’m going to miss you but I’ve got to take about three weeks off. I won’t be posting, reading, commenting, or even keeping up with my email.

Happily, the other fMh goddesses will be here so you probably won’t even know I’m gone.

Why go, you ask? Oh so many reasons. (more…)

One of my kids being bullied is one of my worst fears. The children’s commisioner in England has said that schools are in denial over bullying. Head teachers (principals) have said in response that they aren’t in denial, but that bullying has turned to psychological rather than physical attacks making it more difficult to spot. (more…)

If you’re looking for an alternate gift this christmas, then maybe you could give the gift of animals to people in developing areas and areas hit by natural disasters. For $20 you can give a flock of geese ,chicks, or ducks.

For those new to the site, I’ve done two posts about reading the scriptures in a gender inclusive fashion. The first was about President Hinckley’s teaching that the scriptures refer to the daughters and sons of God equally in spite of gender exclusive language. The second was about scriptures that require men to gender translate. This post will address the question of how women approach scriptures about priesthood. (more…)

So yesterday . . . I took the kids swimming, which makes us hungry and tired. We dragged our hungry tired hindquarters home. I fed’em some lunch, put baby Brick in bed.

Then the girls (ages 5 and 3) begged me to watch Mr. Rogers before nap. And since Mr. Rogers rocks! I said okay. And there they were totally mesmerized by Mr. R, quiet and happy. I laid down on the couch and thought, I’m soooooo tired, soooo very tired, I’m just going to close my eyes for a second. (more…)

This post was made to the Exponent II Listserve Sept 21st of this year. It is reposted here with Judy’s permission:

I like the use of the concept of “soft power” and “hard power” in relation to women in the church. I think that it’s true, on a day to day basis, many (if not most) women in the church feel perfectly fine about participation, treatment, and even exercise of power within a limited domain within the church. Most women are not treated as inferior by men, although there are certainly still cases in which chauvinism abounds. But I think the important thing to recognize is that whatever power women exercise in the church comes in the form of “soft power”, or purely in the form of influence, rather than hard power, or decision making power. (more…)

We’ve recently had lengthy discussion about abortion, but I was interested to see abortion laws are being challenged in my home country of England today. (more…)

According to studies at the Univeristy of Birmingham (England), having a happy marriage can help keep you healthy this winter.

Happily married people seem to have higher levels of antibodies (following vaccination) that can help fight the flu.

I guess I’m set then - had the jab, have the great husband!

This is a very long post. Just so you know.

The Counterpoint Conference started bright and early last Saturday morning, bright being relative becuase of the recent, persistent cloud cover we’ve had in usually sunny and hazy SLC, and early being the ungodly hour of 9:00 a.m. It being a Saturday morning, I was not able to pull myself out of bed until shortly before the appointed hour. But I did make it to the conference before the first session was over. What follows is a scattered and fairly incomplete report (I skipped the last session to make it to an evening bridal shower–anybody else think that’s weird? an evening bridal shower, I mean), but one that, I hope, captures the spirit of the event. However, they did record the conference and I’m told that taped copies will be available for sale and possibly, hopefully, eventually, a transcription of the tapes to be put online (cross your fingers). (more…)

Note — when I wrote this I had no idea LisaB was working on her All is Well post. Interesting counterpoint, though.

We are priveldged to live in a Very Cool Place. I don’t mean our house — neither our house nor our yard is particularly big, funky or impressive — but our location can’t be beat. I love the weather. I love the nearby water. I love the ease of life and lack of long, icky commutes. I love walking places — to the corner drug store, the movie theater, yummy restaurants and a used bookstore. There’s even a little public transportation if I don’t want to drive to some of the more distant places; I’m not a slave to my car.

Really, our life here is pretty much all around great. Well, except for one thing — the church.
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We’re about to head off to church with our newly-reorganized ward. We don’t know who our bishop will be, our RS president, our children’s teachers… I know, it’s all been inspired, so we don’t have to worry about it, right? All is well, all is well. With friends who choose their place of worship or congregation based on proximity, interesting preaching, or available children’s programs, LDS wards and branches sometimes seem to require a bit of fatalism. Either that or a very different concept of how God orchestrates things than I subscribe to. (more…)

According to CNN, the Pakastani who fought back and won is Glamour magazine’s Woman of the Year and has received $20,000 for the honor. You’ve probably heard her story–the woman who was ordered to be gang-raped by her village elders because her brother slept with a young woman from another tribe. The rape was supposed to restore her family’s honor. (Don’t get me started….) But then Mukhtar Mai pressed charges and, against all odds, won her case. CNN’s article details how she’s becoming a sort of reluctant hero, a champion of women’s rights who won’t back down, who used her settlement money to build schools in her village, and who is using her prize money to help other women in Pakistan–either victims of abuse or rape, or those suffering from the recent earthquake aftermath. This is an AMAZING woman. And she definitely has my vote for Woman of the Year. May we all have such strength and determination.

Contribute to her “I can survive fund,” organized by the Asian-American Network Against Abuse of Human Rights (ANAA).

As many of you are probably aware, it’s Primary Program season again, and as chorister in a Primary with few children and fewer resources, I have been asked, among other things, to say a few words to “pad” the program. My topic is “What does it mean to you to be a Child of Heavenly Parents?” (Okay it said “Heavenly Father,” but we’ll skim over that for now.) I took the opportunity to sit down and really try to articulate exactly what being a child of Heavenly Parents means to me, and I found that it was much easier to do if I drew some comparisons with my earthly parents. Let me share a couple and then I’ll tell you what I think I learned. (more…)

Because Mormons forgo the usual recreational drugs (alcohol, pot, nicotine, and some–caffeine) we gorge on sugar and chocolate. Just check out Utah’s ice cream consumption and BYU Bookstore’s candy inventory. But we’re not addicted, right? We could quit anytime. Just like blogging. (more…)

CAUTION Visiting Males: Woman Stuff Ahead

An interesting Christmas tradition (?) in my family is that my mother usually buys most or all of the Christmas gifts for our family, including for herself. She likes to tease my dad, saying things like, ‘you’re going to love what you’re giving me for Christmas.’ I realize this is not an uncommon arrangement, but the endearing thing about my dad (one of many) is that he LOVES to surprise my mom and always manages to sneak in a few gifts that she doesn’t know about. And, year after year, she manages to be totally or almost totally surprised. (more…)

If you’re in SLC area it looks like there’s still time to sign up to attend. They’re asking for donations and you can order lunch, but otherwise it’s free. I wish I could go!!!

Here’s the scoop:
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