We found the cutest Scotty Dog wandering around lost yesterday and brought it home and put up “found dog” posters. We waited about 24 hours before the very upset family saw our posters and reclaimed Willy the Scotty who escaped through the garage.

Oddly enough Willy got me to thinking about prejudice, how our minds are wired for it, because he really was the sweetest dog, gentle and affectionate, and Cute in the most shallow physical sense as well. There really was nothing to dislike about Willy.

Even so, (more…)

The Church has brought me both the most profound and beautiful and some of the most heart-wrenching experiences of my life. The place of my earliest Church memories is the Bay Area ward my family belonged to until we moved to Utah the summer before I started fourth grade. That ward was a place I still associate with peace and security. I remember wearing a dress to school on Primary day, learning to sing the books of the New Testament in junior Sunday school, attending monthly stake baptisms with my CTR class, being confirmed the same day my sister Elbereth, who was born two days after my eighth birthday, was blessed, marching in the Primary parade on Pioneer Day in my bonnet and long dress my mother had made me, participating in the cake walk at the ward carnival, watching _The Rescuers_ and eating popcorn with my family at the Young Women’s camp fundraiser, swimming with my Sunday school class in the pool at our teacher’s house, trick-or-treating at ward members’ houses on November 1 when Halloween fell on a Sunday, and going on day trips with families from the ward to the pool, to the beach, and to Golden Gate Park. I remember nervously saying my lines into the microphone at the annual sacrament meeting Primary program, being interviewed for baptism, attending the dedication of the new building, and countless sacrament meetings and Primary and Sunday school classes and activities. I felt loved by my teachers and by God and a deep sense that I belonged. (more…)

I called my brother today and thanked him for not getting killed in Iraq or Afganastan so I didn’t have to be all memorial-ish and weepy today. He claims he didn’t not get dead for me (well mostly not anyway, maybe a speck of it was for me). I don’t really care why he’s not dead, it’s not the point. Though I do appreciate my speck. I thanked him for serving for his country and all that, which I do appreciate, though it can be hard for me to express it. We both know I’m not exactly pro-war. Still I am grateful.

That was good times.

So that was my memorial day observance, you?

I do actually have good memories of driving flowers around to lots of cemeteries with my parents. The stories about dead people were the best. I actually wish we had more excuses to drive around to cemetaries and listen to old people talk about dead people. Wish I was in Utah right now in a car full of flowers, rootbeer, and cheese sticks. (more…)

Of all the Church programs I have struggled with over the years, seminary was by far the hardest. Neither of my parents grew up in Utah, and I don’t think either attended seminary. (My mother lived in a remote rural area with few Mormons, and my father grew up inactive in a part-member family.) When I started ninth grade, no doubt wanting me to have what she hadn’t and following the expectations of our overwhelmingly Mormon community, my mother signed me up. After the cultural and religious isolation she had endured as an adolescent, seminary probably looked like a haven. (more…)

Well I finally have time to write, at 3PM on a Friday, the slowest traffic time of the blog week. Oh well. My kids are happily playing with a spider (should I let them do that?), and even though my brain is only half functioning, now is the time.

So what to say about this book?

First of all, it was really really easy to read, in that, I don’t want to put this down, I have to know what happens next, I could read this all night kinda way.

Also, it was disturbing. I’m sure I missed most of the symbolism and the politcal significance and all the deep stuff most of you are well-versed in (and should enlighten me about). It was one of those books where I feel like I’m reading the story, but I’m missing the point(s). This is how I pretty much always feel when I read something not fluffy.

Basically (SPOILERS), it’s a novel set in the near furture, a future in which the US has turned into an old-testament based theocracy of sorts. Following a series of ecological disasters, drastically declining fertility rates, economic decline, political upheaval, suspension of the constitution, well-planned erosion of women’s indepence and freedoms.

Okay, I can’t finish now, my son just tried to kill himself and burn down the house. I was in here typing and he was in the kitchen stuffing hotpads in the toaster oven and lighting them on fire. I heard him yelping and I went into the kitchen and there he is holding a burning hot pad. I’m so lucky that I’m not on my way to the emergency room right now with a tragically burned child. I have to go barf now.

Go ahead with the discussion if you like. I’ll try to finish tonight.

Like all of my siblings except perhaps Melyngoch, I am an introvert. (We don’t know exactly how a person as hip and socially well-adjusted as Melyngoch happened in our family, but we love her anyway.) This doesn’t mean I don’t like people; it just means that I find them extremely over-stimulating and therefore draining and that I need a lot of time alone between social encounters to recover from them. (It also means that my husband and I argue at length over who answered the phone last and who has to get it this time.) For those interested in more on introversion, their own or others’, here’s the definitive statement. (more…)

Due to technical difficulties* The Handmaid’s Tale discussion will have to be put off for a day or two. So sorry, I am really loving this book.

(more…)

SUMMARY of The Mormon Concept of a Mother in Heaven by Linda P. Wilcox (W&A ch. 1)

There is a vague idea of Heavenly Mother in Mormonism, but it’s mostly based on the hymn “O My Father” and doesn’t go much beyond the fact of her existence. There is little writing or theology about her. (more…)

Suzy writes:

I’m soon to be engaged to a member of the LDS church. I’m not a member myself (nor an investigator, to be clear), and I have so many questions and don’t really have a good resource to find answers. While I don’t subscribe to the church’s teachings, I know they will be a large and important part of my life. I’ve been reading the fMh blog and I think there’s a lot of thoughtful and careful consideration of church doctrine and how it applies to women’s lives specifically. I really appreciate what I’ve learned here!

I’m atheist and I really don’t have much family, so I don’t have any religious or family traditions to cater to. As far as the “mixed” aspect of our relationship, it has caused me many times more apprehension than it has caused him. Initially, I was concerned that he would come to resent me for my philosophy, that it would cast him as a rebel in his community (guilt by association!), and mostly that in not having a Temple marriage, he would feel he hadn’t completed his responsibility to his future family. I had a lot of other concerns, mostly insubstantial, but those were the top of the list. We’re very comfortable with our opposing philosophies now, but we know not everyone else has to be or will be. We agree that there will be hurdles to jump, and not everyone will support us, but he isn’t fazed. He is so reassuring and comforting, and I draw a lot of strength from his confidence.
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In these environs Eve is probably best introduced as the sister of Kiskilili and Lynnette, and online she lives at the recently revived Zelophehad’s Daughters. She considers her ten-year marriage to her patient and adored husband the greatest achievement of her life. Eve is a lifelong Mormon, a graduate student in comparative literature and philosophy, and although she is reserved around strangers, she has a really big smart-mouth which she is–unsuccessfully–trying to tame.

A few years ago, I found myself in a Barnes & Noble with time to kill while I was waiting to pick my husband up from a trip when I happened on Martha Beck’s Expecting Adam. The stuff about Harvard and unborn children with Down’s Syndrome sailed right past me, but I was riveted by her description of her family’s paradoxical class situation. I had never in my life heard of a family like mine, in which we had to be relentlessly, contemptuously intellectual to compensate for the fact that we looked and lived like freaks. I wanted to race home and call her up just to verify her existence. (more…)

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Jenna writes:

In the 1980s feminists such as Andrea Dworkin got in bed (figuratively, I’m pretty sure about that) with Christian conservatives to denounce pornography. To be sure, each denounced the porn trade for different reasons Dworkin and her cohorts believed that porn taught men to objectify women and thus directly led to violence against women. Christian conservatives believed that it was unholy. And Christian feminists probably thought it was bad for both reasons. Although anti-porn groups were very vocal, they were not particuarly successful.
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Just a reminder to get out your copies, drop by the book store or library, brush up, or read it for the first time (like me). We will be discussing this book next Tuesday and I’m totally pumped!

What should we read next?

See, now I’m getting angry.

I started this blog because my brain was gushing with toxic spewage that no one I knew was interested in listening to. My very first post was me being pissed off that Veggie Tales had NO, ZERO, ZIP, NADA admirable female characters (very few of the unadmirable ones either). And frankly, it pissed me off more that no one I talked to about it noticed or cared.

So I started a blog, and a community (hi sisters!) and now we can all be pissed off together. Ready to get steamed?
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I admit that I love Mother’s Day for entirely selfish reasons. First of all, I love any excuse to party. Second, I love any excuse not to feel obligated to pick up after anyone.

This weekend was a three day Mamapalooza full of astounding amounts of junk food, three separate parties, gifts a-plenty, and tons of me me me time. It was beautiful.

I do understand why a lot of people feel there are drawback’s to Mother’s Day, it glorifies the whole impossible unhealthy self-sacrificing ideal, it heaps guilt upon alternative styles of mothering, because it doesn’t acknowledge women who don’t or can’t have children.

I get it, just like I get that Thanksgiving glorifies the beginning of destruction of a whole continent of people. And I get that walking a bride down the isle started as a transfer of property.

So what do you love or hate about Mother’s Day? What have your Mother’s Day experiences been like? And how do you balance the drawbacks of many our customs/holidays with the (necessary) excuse to party?

I found this article on the BBC News website. It provides a link to a Scottish website, where you can submit a photo of yourself, answer a few questions and they’ll send you an email of yourself aged 30 years. (you need a decent head shot)

It’s all a bit of fun (or not - depending on how bad you look!), but they are also trying to send the message that we need to plan for when we get to that age and there are no social security benefits for the elderly. Be a good Boy Scout - be prepared!!

Enjoy your glimpse at an older you!!

I don’t have much time to write (so no spell checking, back off with that red-pen you smarty-pants bullies) because I’m getting ready to have a Mother’s Day Slumber Party tonight. That’s right. I’m having a slumber party, not for my kids, for me. And I’ve invited a bunch of mature women like myself to eat cheesy poofs, watch Sixteen Candles, and fix ourselves up with big hair and green eyeshadow. We may even have a pillow fight. Only time will tell.

But back to the topic, and yes, there is a topic, look at the title already . . . Ashes. My husband got a BBQ from a friend who moved, we’ve never had one, nor much use for one, but now we do. So he bought some charcoal and some Fall’s Brand Hotdogs (which made the whole purchase almost-but-not-quite acceptable), and he BBQed.
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What events in your life have been the most stressful? Death of a loved one? Divorce? Changing jobs? Having a baby? (more…)

We recieved this letter from Annelies who has scheduled, and postponed, baptism. She is currently scheduled . . . and is asking for our help.

Dear Feminist Mormon Housewives Awesomenesses,

I am unutterably grateful to have found you blog in these, the throes of conversion to Mormonism. A year ago I was an
atheist/agnostic/believe-what-you-want-but-leave-me-alone-about-it,
passionate, tree-hugging liberal (I even voted for Nader, twice). I’m still the liberal, I still believe that a woman having an abortion is none of my business (it’s between her and the dad and her God); I still believe that my gay friends should have the same rights, responsibilities and privileges under the law that I and my husband share; I take huge issue with President Hinckley claiming the Church doesn’t get involved politically when it has spent $3.6 million in support of anti-gay rights legislation, so I have a problem tithing to such an institution, etc., not to mention the fact that my open-mouthed liberalism makes me stick out like a sore thumb at Church… (more…)

Women and Authority: Re-emerging Mormon Feminism was edited by Maxine Hanks and published in 1992 by Signature Books. The book is dedicated “TO OURSELVES.” The cover illustration is a marble relief from the 5th century called “The Birth of the Goddess.” This post covers the Preface, Introduction, and Prologue.

PREFACE:

• The book is an anthology in order to represent diverse perspectives and approaches to (complex, controversial) questions about Mormon women and authority
• It also brings together more than 150 feminist voices from the beginning of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to the time of publication
• The central theme is authority; the essays explore relationships among priesthood, authority, God the Mother, authorship, and feminism

(more…)

A few months back I was having a conversation about making decisions and following the Spirit when my acquaintance said something to the effect of, “when it seems like the Spirit is telling me to do precisely what I want to do–what I think will make me happy–I get nervous and start reexamining my motives and what I feel are promptings.” 

I don’t know about all of you, but this is something I’ve experienced on more than one occasion in my life.  (more…)

So, there’s been a lot of discussion in the press and round my family regarding the ‘what if’ question of Hillary vs. Mitt for president. My sister’s convinced that Hillary doesn’t have a chance (DH & I tried to disabuse her of that notion) and my mom remarked that if Hillary becomes president, then the 2nd Coming is really, really close. You can tell what my family thinks of Ms. Clinton.

On the other hand, it seems that the Religious Right–that so many LDS identify with and vote with–WILL NOT vote for Mitt, simply and solely because he’s LDS, the LDS church being a non-Christian cult who worships another Jesus and, perhaps, some dude named Joe Smith (and wasn’t that the same name of the guy who raped and killed that girl last year?). Nope, they (primarily the Evangelicals, it seems) would rather have Evile Hillary in office than Devil Church Mitt. (more…)

UPDATE:All Done! We raised $65 dollars since yesterday. (although I know paypal takes a small cut) Which is more than our goal, so . . . hum, I could give some back, or save some for next year, or ask for less from each of the goddesses. I think I’ll do the last unless there are objections. Thank you so much! To those that donated and those who would’ve if you’d gotten here soon enough.

If you want to take us up on our free “gift”, email me anytime!

I just got the bill for our server, $95.40 which I most emphatically do not have.

So, I figure I’ll ask each of the permabores to donate $10. I should be able to round up ten bucks by giving up squeeze cheese and marshmallows for a month. Which will leave $45.40 as your (collective) responsibility. (more…)

Hello there! My name is HeatherP and I’m coming out of semi-retirement to do a guest series here at fMh. Thanks to Lisa and the other goddesses for having me. I have a feminist Mormon blog, a personal blog, and I would like to give a shout out to these fabulous women. I am a recent library school graduate. I’m trying to figure out where in life to go from here. Now that I’m done with school, you’d think I’d have more time for blogging, but lately I’ve felt unmotivated. I live in Orem, Utah. Harry Potter and I share the same initials. I like to waste time at Blogthings, Go Fug Yourself, Homestar Runner, Television Without Pity, and on myspace. I like reading (natch), playing basketball, supporting local music, watching Gilmore Girls, and eating Lindt dark chocolate.

I am excited about this guest series - I’ll be posting on Women and Authority: Re-emerging Mormon Feminism. The plan is to cover one chapter every other week until we’re done. I’ll post a summary of the chapter and some discussion points and we’ll go from there. We’ll start next week with the Preface, Introduction, and Prologue (that’s a link to the full text, or it’s on pp. vii-xxxiii in the book). Read ahead now, or join the discussion next week. Okay? Okay!

or, A Message From the FAIR Pres. & an Appeal for Donations

Scott Gordon, the president of the Foundation for Apologetics & Informed Research (fairlds.org) sent this out as part of his monthly FAIR newsletter. He did not ask me to post it. I felt that his president’s message was another one of his timely, well-articulated gems and I wanted to get the word out about FAIR’s counter to the counter-’cult’ films being made against the LDS church.

As the church grows, we are receiving more media coverage. This means we are being more accepted as a part of life. We now have members in professional sports, in entertainment, and in politics. We should be proud that members of our faith are leaders in government; one may even be a presidential candidate. Our faith is being brought up more in newspapers, in books, by comedians, in the movies, and on television. Some aspects of our faith are even beamed into many homes in America on a weekly basis on HBO. (more…)

I don’t have what you’d call highbrow tastes. I’m quite fluffy actually and I’m okay with that most of the time. I like books with happy endings, and squeeze cheese and marshmallows dipped in my chocolate fondue. Fluffy stuff is fun, and fun is fun.

It can’t all be fun, of course. You gotta eat your brown rice too, fiber being what it is and all. And as much as it pains me to admit it, shortly after Nineteen Eighty-Four hit the wall I thought many deep thoughts that made me smarter and stuff. (more…)

I usually ignore forwarded stuff, but since I LOVE chocolate, I thought I’d try! It worked! So enjoy your little bit of mindless distraction for today!

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH (more…)

I love music. I love listening to it, playing it and singing it. Music can be a powerful experience. It evokes feelings that words alone could not do.

Not long ago, while driving to enrichment, I was listening to the soundtrack from The Passion of the Christ. The piece playing was called ‘Mary goes to Jesus’. (Listen to a small clip here) For those of you who haven’t seen the film - Mary is trying to get closer to Jesus as he walks the via dolorosa. She’s on a side street and pauses. She looks up and sees Jesus fall. She has a flashback to when he was a small child and fell over. She ran to comfort the child and his scraped knee. Back to the present, she runs to Jesus, to lift him, to comfort him as only a mother can. He says to her - look mother, I make all things new. The music written here is so evocative, that even without the visual, I sat crying in my car. Weeping at the feelings I had. The feeling of Mary, who as a mother, watched the killing of her son. The feeling of love that my Saviour has for me, to be willing to endure that much pain, and the love I have for Him for doing that. (more…)