The average sentence for murder in the US is 15 years. Maddoff got 150.

You can rape, kidnap, murder, assault - destroy the very soul of an individual - and it matters less to us than if you fail in your ponzi scheme to make wealthy people wealthier.

What do we value?

In today’s New York Times, a woman shares her account of how she worships as a Catholic despite her deep disagreements with the Catholic Church’s doctrine, practices and politics. She calls herself a “Catholic under protest”, because, as she describes it, she is “simultaneously outraged by and in love with the Church”.   This piece resonated with me because in it I heard echoes of conversations I’ve had with many Mormons (both online and in real life).  This quote from the article may be especially relevant to a faithful, practicing Mormon who finds him or herself in conflict with Church policies: (more…)

When we lived in Texas, my two-year-old always let everyone in the car know when she spotted our church. Our ward met in a building constructed around the turn of the millenium; a building that looks just like the ward buildings where we went to church when we lived in Minnesota and Missouri, and quite possibly just like the church where you took the sacrament today: a standard-issue brick (sometimes stucco) rectangle, a white decorative panel, white-trimmed pediment,  and white steeple adorning the front of the building; a chapel and a gym in the center of the building, and classrooms, bathrooms and kitchens flanking three sides. “It’s Jesus’ castle! It’s Jesus’ castle!,” my daughter would cheer from her car seat as we approached. Inside, as we walked the halls once she got too wiggly for sacrament meeting, she’d point out the pictures: “Red Jesus” or Christ in the red robe, “Knocking Jesus” or Christ knocking on a wooden door, and my personal favorite, the slightly sacreligious “Princess Jesus” or Christ in the white robe and the pink sash, flanked by similarly-dressed angels (ladies in waiting?) on either side. (more…)

If you are not a person who particularly enjoys poop, I have two super-de-dooper pieces of advice for you.

1. Don’t become a parent.

2. Don’t read this post.

I can not tell you how dearly I hold the hope that someday the only poop I will come in contact with will be my own. Ahhhh, poop. (more…)

G is coming to visit me this weekend and as I sit at this computer avoiding homework and all manner of responsibility, I’ve had time to reflect [read: feel guilty] on the amount of work that needs to be done before her arrival.  I’ve also had time to reflect more something else. Something that has been bugging me for years…

I really resent being woman when it’s time to clean the house. (more…)

I’m always intrigued by the intersection between taking a moral stand and coming up with a practical solution.

I’ve talked about his before in the case of abortion. Many people think that it should be illegal because it is immoral, others think that since making abortions illegal doesn’t seem to reduce them, a more practical approach is to make conditions such that abortions are reduced (through available birth control and support for mothers).

The example that is on my mind at present is Obama’s reaction to the situation in Iran. Many people, such as Senator McCain have insisted that Obama should take a strong stance against the actions of Mr. Ahmadinejad, and while I have a lot of sympathy for this stance, and for the protesters . . . It also seems to me that Obama’s initial neutrality was perhaps the more practical approach. American interference (no matter our good intentions) in Iranian politics never ever turns out well.

Perhaps it’s all along the lines of Nephi chopping of Laben’s head for the brass plates? (more…)

Well, we all know where the missing governor was now: off in Argentina on a booty call. In his long and rambling statement today, he was as loose with his apologies as he was with his fidelity - he said sorry to his wife, his kids, his in-laws, his staff, his constituents, his friends, and ‘people of faith across the nation’. Huh? (more…)

Stolen Ipod, yada yada. I use it every day and I need to replace it.

So let’s chat . . .

I hate hate hate iTunes. I’m wondering about non-Ipod options. Anyone have a MP3 player you enjoy? I was thinking about using one of those phones that hold music, mostly because I could get one for free (with a 2yr contract, but still free) has this worked out for anyone? Or should I break down and just buy another (refurbished) Ipod, after all, I washed it three times and it still worked for a year and a half. It was a little quirky after that, but still that’s quality workmanship if you ask me. Oh yes, and it has to be cheap.

Also music:
I’m always on the lookout of for stuff that’s fun to dance to, I especially like non-English speaking music because then no-one objects to playing it in the church.

Also podcasts: I love the NPR podcasts. Also The Moth podcast is wonderful. What is your favorite listening fare? Any books on tape you’ve particularly enjoyed?

Joined the YMCA last week, on my second visit my Ipod was stolen out of a padlocked locker.

I wonder if the new owner likes my music. (more…)

Marigold has been singing quite a lot lately and one of the songs she likes is “Rain Is Falling All Around” from the Primary Children’s Songbook. For those of you who don’t know it, it goes like this:

Rain is falling all around
On the treetops on the ground
Rain is falling on my nose
On my head and hands and toes.

You can adjust the verses for whatever weather happens to be present, “sun is shining”, “wind is blowing”, “snow is falling”, and basically sing it the same way every every time. Repetition AND variety, so much fun!

(more…)

I hesitated to post this, it just seems like it’s a little too much, even for us. I even wondered if she was pulling my leg, except, I actually have a friend who has the exact same . . . er . . . well I wouldn’t say ‘problem’ exactly, depends on your point of view I suppose. Anyhow, I overcame my hesitancy primarily because I figured, if not here, then where is a good Mormon girl to talk about this? Nowhere, that’s where. So here it is my friends. Be kind.

Coregasms and the Law of Chastity

I am a single adult LDS female who just turned 30 and I wanted to do a certain yoga type exercise program, namely 5 Tibetans, on a regular basis for its great health benefits and little time it takes to do. I find myself very aroused when doing some exercises. You are supposed to do 21 repetitions but for example, when lying on the floor and lifting both legs up simultaneously (using pelvic muscles I guess) I have to stop (for chastity reasons) after just 5 or so repetitions and relax. Even then, while lying down, not moving at all and hoping that arousal would dissipate, I experienced an involuntarily organism. I googled it and it’s supposedly called a coregasm. It seems to regularly happen to many women and some men but no one really talks about it. Clothing had nothing to do with it; it was muscle/exercise induced. (more…)

Yesterday some friends came to visit with their son, Sam. Sam is 10, a great athlete (he’s already made it through to national competition in some sports), and a leader at his school. He’s also autistic. Intellectually, he’s 6. Sam is vocal, polite, friendly, and great with kids. As we talked, Sam’s parents started to talk about some of the challenges they faced raising an autistic child. At one point Sam’s dad said, “Our goal in raising him is to have every member of society ask themselves, What’s the problem?” He expanded upon this thought - He wanted people to broaden their definition of “normal”; he wanted people to understand that while there were things that his son could not do, there were also things that his son could do, very well.

I know there are a lot of parents who are raising special needs children, so I wanted to ask you the same question, but with a different meaning: What’s the problem? What are those of us in the mainstream doing that are making it harder for your families? What can we do better? (more…)

Moniker Challenged is a 24-year-old gal who’s been married to her marvelous best friend for four years—no offspring at time of publication. Translation: 37 in LDS birthing years, in at-risk exaltation category. Only recently has she realized that she can forge her own destiny and make personal decisions without relying on groupthink (way to go, people). As a result, she has no idea what she wants to be when she grows up.

A recent post by Quimby, “In Praise of Mormonism” included a discussion of peaceful vs militant Christianity and martial rhetoric within the LDS faith. My question is in the same neighborhood, nearby cul-de-sac:

What is this war on the family I keep hearing about? Who declared it and when? My initial reaction is to wonder if anything prevents my husband and I from becoming like unto the Cleavers besides inflation. Appropriate modeling, maybe, because the family I was reared by is more like a combination of the Bunkers and the Adams Family. That aside, I don’t feel like anybody’s preventing me from living in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, bearing polite children, voting conservative, attending church socials, making apple pie, and meekly and charmingly supporting my husband in his duties as the Sheriff of Mayberry etc.
(more…)

What do you think of this call for reconciliation between the GLBT and LDS communities?

I like the idea of it, but I’m not sure if the ‘requirements’ as written are parallel? I can’t decide.

Truthfully, I don’t know many members of the GLBT community (indeed my life is far too insular), but of those I do know, I can easily imagine most of them willing to sign this. However, I can think of very few members of the LDS community (outside of the blogs) who would be willing to sign. Do you agree? I wonder why I imagine such a difference in reactions? Is it the petition itself (it’s wording or structure or something). Or perhaps a difference in the cultures of the two communities? Or some of each or something else entirely? (more…)

The theme for Girls Camp this year in our stake is “Finding the Hero Within”, and they’re likening the Young Women’s values to “superpowers”. Several weeks back, they had a big kick-off meeting with the girls which involved skits featuring middle-aged women jumping around in capes and tights, promoting the YW values. The girls loved the over-the-top presentation style, and seem pretty excited for camp.

As part of the camp program, each ward is responsible for preparing various skits, activities, and presentations surrounding a specific value. Our ward landed “Virtue”. The girls adopted it and promptly named themselves the Virtue Vigilantes (which I can’t even type without laughing — it conjures images of guys shining flashlights into steamy car windows in the Prove temple parking lot on Saturday night). Yes, they have costumes and they’re working on a theme song (they’re stealing Captain Planet’s music). (more…)

So we were watching Bright Eyes a while back, and within the first ten minutes, a five-year-old Shirley Temple goes hitch hiking with middle aged man so she can meet up with a young aviator who seems to show a strange amount of interest in her life (doesn’t he have a life of his own?), after which they sing a duet.

I was flat out flabbergasted. (more…)

In January 1969, this “calendar of hope” was included in the Improvement Era and was “especially dedicated to servicemen and missionaries.”  Here is the cover shot:

(more…)

I received the following from a friend of mine, a midwife, and wanted to pass it along. If you think that Certified Professional Midwives should have a place in our healthcare system (of course!), whether you yourself would go to one or not, please call your senator and tell them! I did it this morning and it took bare minutes. Also, you can contact Speaker Pelosi and give her the same message; her DC office number is (202) 225-0100.

Hey all,
If you are at all interested in supporting midwives like me, please make this call TODAY and pass on this email!

We need to do this TODAY!  I am asking you to call and to forward this message to everyone and every list you think is interested in CPM’s having a seat at the table.  Thank you!

Things are moving fast in DC, and the Senate is about to move forward with health care reform legislation that does NOT include Certified Professional Midwives or home birth midwifery care. We need to change that!

(more…)

One thing that I’ve noticed (and paid attention to) since having a little girl is that a lot of the children’s stories, rhymes, and songs tend to have predominantly male protagonists and/or passive female examples. To get around this a little, without making a big deal of it, I’ve been re-casting some of the songs and rhymes so we have more female protagonists and active female examples. To wit:

Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes, marry, have I, three bags full
(actual line from the Volland ed. Mother Goose; you could also say “yes, ma’am, yes, ma’am…)
One for my master and one for my dame
And one for the little girl who lives down the lane.

(more…)

By: NatalieK

Hi fmh’ers.

Okay, we all know how discouraging it can be to be a thoughtful feminist in our church. This spring, I went through a couple of months where I really felt like I was on the tipping point of not being able to maintain my sanity and my membership simultaneously. My frustration with the church’s gender issues ebbs and flows, but usually, my thoughts are dominated with negativity. I notice constantly all the things that bother me -  no women on the stand, male-gendered language, sickly sweet statements about women, etc. You all know what I’m talking about. (more…)

Last night our enrichment activity was a “service auction”. Women in the ward offered up a service, things such as babysitting, or painting a room, or cleaning out your car, or a month of family home evening treats. Then each of us earned points with which to bid, points for reading the Book of Mormon, cleaning poop out of training pants, doing our visiting teaching, or kissing our husbands this morning.

Last night was the first time I have not wanted to run screaming from our ward functions. I really liked knowing what talents these women were proud of, what services they valued most. I actually enjoyed myself.
(more…)

My husband is of the opinion that, when children are very young, they should be absolutely inundated with Christmas presents. But both of us believe in setting a reasonable budget (we try to stick to $100 per child for Christmas) and I really hate the idea of just going out and buying a lot of plastic junk to fill out under the tree. My solution? Since February, I’ve been making gifts out of their old clothes. But I’ve run out of ideas, and I need some inspiration. (more…)

By: Nobodyputsbabyinacorner

nanny cam poll:

they are a good idea –how else would you catch her abusing your kids?

they are a bad idea –nanny feels herself under pressure from overseeing panopticon, doesn’t want to work for you

(more…)

In regards to a debate I had at church on Sunday (you know who you are). . .

My husband has some amazing travel stories. He’s been robbed, tear-gassed, left in the middle of nowhere. He’s fallen deathly ill in countries that are known for their terrible level of health care. He’s spent the night with IRA terrorists, he’s been threatened by men with guns, he’s drank deeply from mountain streams only to discover later that the little bits of pink paper he mistook for confetti were actually toilet paper. His stories are often funny, sometimes scary, always told without embellishment. Of all of his stories, the one that sticks with me the most is Tiananmen Square. (more…)

I remember reading this NY Times article in 2005 about women crying in the bathroom at work when things got tough, and patting myself on the back for never having speedwalked to the bathroom to sob (as quietly as possible) tears of anger or frustration in the privacy of a bathroom stall.  Not that I haven’t had jobs worthy of angry tears.   (more…)

This month’s visiting teaching message is titled Participate in Sincere Prayer. And I confess that I was a little relieved to discover the topic–if there is one religious practice I believe in, it is sincere prayer. In fact, recently I’ve found myself thinking repeatedly about the hymn Prayer is the Soul’s Sincere Desire. I have no idea if they based the message around the hymn–certainly the phrasing of it is similar–but the title phrase itself provides a simple but illuminating view on what prayer actually is. You could argue that an insincere prayer is not really a prayer at all, that “sincere prayer” is redundant. But the part I’ve been thinking about most is this phrase:

Prayer is the soul’s sincere desire, uttered or unexpressed, the motion of a hidden fire that trembles in the breast

In other words, that which we hope for or desire, particularly those most fervent or desperate hopes and desires, is a prayer, the caveat being that prayer is holy, of course, and directed to a holy God, so these prayerful desires would be those we could discuss with God (ergo, sinful desires would probably not constitute prayer). In other words, when we desire anything that is “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy”, we are praying.

(more…)

We are often criticised as being wolves-in-sheeps-clothing, anti-Mormon, too vicious and quick to speak out against the GAs. So, I want to go on the record as praising one particular aspect of Mormonism that I love and respect: We do not believe in a militant Christ. (more…)