Shortly after we moved into our new house in June, my seven-year-old asked for a CTR ring. She had one of the cheap green adjustable rings that she got in Primary, but the kids in her new Primary class all had “cool” CTR rings. I was sort of touched by her desire, even though I recognized from the beginning that it was tinged with a keeping up with the Christensens kind of competitiveness. So I took her to Deseret Book and let her pick out a CTR ring. The woman at the store talked about how special it was and told her to take good care of it, but she lost it the same night (found the next day) and it was gone for good within a week. We replaced it. She lost that one too. On Sunday she came home from church in tears– apparently her Primary teacher keeps track of which kids wear their rings, and any child who wears their ring every Sunday for a whole month gets rewarded with a candy bar. So yesterday she and I were back at the store, buying a new (cheaper) ring (actually, a necklace, which she decided would be harder to lose).

Other than the overindulgent parent factor, which I’m completely aware of, the CTR reward program raises a couple of issues for me. What’s our relationship to our religious jewelry? Is wearing a CTR ring on par with wearing a cross in other Christian religions? Why am I okay with disregarding guidelines from the church handbook when it’s convenient for me, but it rankles when someone else’s disregard inconveniences me (I think giving out candy bars in Primary is verboten, no?)? I’m also not sure how or if to talk about it with her teacher, someone I don’t know well, but think is a lovely woman.

All I know is that with the amount of money I’ve spent on CTR jewelry over the last two months, I could have bought a lot of candy bars.

It began last week with some very hole-y garments.

I found my recommend to take to Beehive Clothing.  Could it be true that I last used it four years ago?  I knew it had been a while, but I had closed off that tender part of my heart that rebruised with each endowment or sealing session I had forced myself to go to, and the time had passed regardless.  Driving through the gates of the Boise temple grounds to the doors of Beehive Clothing, I cautiously opened a peephole into the heart-cloister:

Is it time to try again? (more…)

I moved to Australia when I was 19. Allowing for overseas holidays, in about six more years I will have spent half my life here. Immigrating is an odd experience. In speaking with my friends who are immigrants, it seems that the normal trajectory is as follows: For four years, you hate everything about your new country and keep comparing it negatively to your old country. At around the four year mark, you start to feel more comfortable in your new country and are willing to acknowledge that they do some things better. Give it another four years, and you start to compare your old country negatively to your new country.

I spent years trying to feel comfortable in my skin: When I was in Australia, I was homesick for the US; when I was in the US I was homesick for Australia. (more…)

I was supposed to post this at the beginning of July, but I fiddled around and avoided it because the topic made me uncomfortable. Sorry, everyone. I have included a summary of the church-suggested visiting teaching message below, and I have discussed my own experiences regarding temple preparation and blessings; I think my reasons for procrastinating will be self-evident to readers. (more…)

Several years ago, DH and I were passing a few days in London. DH decided to spend his time at the Public Records Office, doing some family history, while I decided to spend most of mine at the British Museum, quite possibly my favorite place on earth. Because DH had to juggle a fair amount of research material, I would help him carry it to the PRO, go off and explore the museum, and then come back just before the PRO closed to help him with his binders and notes. One evening as I entered the PRO I said to the middle-aged woman at the front desk, “I’m here to pick up my husband.” She replied drolly, without a hint of humour, “Oh yes, dear. Just go ahead and choose any one you’d like.”

So, what is your favorite real-life one-liner?

By Ann,

A woman’s right to choose has been and will surely continue to be a rallying point as well as a divisive issue for feminists. While so much attention is given to the protection of choice during gestation, the reproductive choices of women who bring their babies to term are routinely curtailed and eroded. But we seldom hear these stories. (more…)

Tatiana asked several questions about growing things - hours of sunlight needed,
row size, transplanting, water.

The right answers vary by (among other things), location.
The key to remember is that your MISSION is MODERATION.

Global warming means that Mother Earth is growing more extreme and less moderate
- “hot under the collar” if you will. We see and may expect more really hot and really
cold days, more huge rain and snow storms and fewer days of gentle showers. Though snow
packs may be large, the extra early heat means that they melt off faster hence providing
too much water in the spring and too little in the hot part of the year. (more…)

Product Description:
A packet of Swiss Miss Pick Me Up Hot Cocoa Mix with Calcium contains caffeine equal to 1 cup of coffee (67mg). Add 6 ounces of hot water to make a smooth cup of hot cocoa that will indulge your chocolate craving and give you a Pick-Me-Up.

It’s that time of year here. Planting is done, early weeding is done, compost on everything is keeping roots cool, some moisture in the ground, and most remaining weeds at bay. Harvest season has begun.

We’ve been operating a small Certified Organic farm for a decade now. Though the beef cattle and laying hens generate most of our revenue, we do keep a small garden for produce (about 1/4 acre), along with perhaps 2 dozen trees for fruit and nuts. We mostly grow produce for family use, but sell overflow at the local farmer’s market.

I’ve always kept a home garden, but have learned a few things since we began farming commercially.
The first crop I tried was Oats. They’re supposed to be easy to grow. I didn’t know what growing oats looked like before they hit the Quaker Oats box and diligently weeded away most all the first crop. And, I admit, that though Idaho born, it took me a while to distinguish potato plants from pig weed.

However, if I were to say the most important thing I’ve learned about veggie gardening in the last decade,
it would be that what you do with the produce AFTER it’s picked is at least as important as anything you
might do before. (more…)

It’s been a long while since the last gastronomy thread, but I NEED YOUR HELP!!

I recently bought my very first crock pot - or slow cooker as we call them over here (crock pot is just a brand!)

I know, I know. They seemed to be a must have when we lived in the US, so how come it took me so long to get one? Well that doesn’t matter, but is does matter than I need recipes/ideas for cooking in it.

So far I’ve cooked a whole chicken (for me to use in a curry) and I know I can do casseroles. I’d really love some recipes for soups and anything else you use your crock pot for. And if anyone has a great recipe for rice pudding I’ll be eternally grateful.

Thanks!

We’ve been collecting expressions that originate on Farms.

You know some I’m sure. “Don’t count your chickens before
the hatch”, or “Make hay while the sun shines.”

Here’s one, “Dumb as a Fencepost”.  We’ve got one of those, it’s right at the curve of
the drive. That post is so dumb, it’s knocked the side view mirror off the pick up truck not once but three times and still hasn’t learned to get out of the way when I come barreling down the drive.

Here’s another; “You Catch ‘em You Clean ‘em”. This rule actually comes down to us from many generations of wives, mothers, daughters, neices, sisters and girlfriends of fishermen. Honor the wisdom of the sisters who have gone before. Ignore this rule at your peril.

You may help your Sweetie off with his waders and boots, but NEVER EVER offer to
clean the fish he brings home. For to do so shall surely lead you down a slippery and slimy slope of fish scales all over your sink for the rest of your natural life.
What are your favorite rural expressions? What were the circumstances in which you first heard them? I’d love to add them to the list.

Former President Jimmy Carter recently resigned his membership in the Southern Baptist Church, after worshipping as a Southern Baptist for over six decades, because he is dismayed by the continuing use of scripture to justify treating women as inferior to men. Although Mormon leaders deny that women are inferior to men (indeed, women are treated to many talks in General Conference assuring them of their equality to men), under current Mormon practice, women and men are equal partners, yet the man “presides”.     Much (cyber) ink has been spilled explaining the seemingly impossible existence of equality within patriarchy.     No matter the eloquence and elegance of these arguments, however, the fact remains that women are not fit to serve as leaders in the Mormon Church, women are not fit to bless their own children with the power of God, and women are not fit to preside over men. (more…)

I noted a recent post on Faithful Dissident’s blog about her Granny wherein she said; “Although my Grandma and I will probably continue to approach certain things differently, I think that we probably have more in common than either of us realized…. I was certainly “enlightened” by the connection to my grandmother that I didn’t even realize I had.”

This reminded me of my Mother in Law. (more…)

 By Marie

I turned 39 this year, and I’ve been surprised at how this has affected me emotionally primarily because, as a single woman, I am facing the reality that I most likely will never have children. Apparently, all the promises I’ve been given regarding my future family-particularly in my patriarchal blessing—will go unfulfilled. I’ve placed a great deal of hope in those promises, and consequently, my faith has taken a real beating. (more…)

I have four kids, ages 14, 16, 18 and 20, and I feel like I have totally failed as an LDS parent. The three oldest have all been involved with marijuana, and the two oldest use it regularly. The 16-year old was caught with it at school and was suspended and required to go to a drug class. He also talked with the Bishop and I think he has given it up because he doesn’t hang out with the same friends and has been great about going to church and young men’s, etc. (more…)

Teen Pregnancy - it happens in the best of families. I wrote this tale a few years ago. It’s a light hearted take on a serious subject. I’m curious how other folks would deal with the situation if it happened in their family.

To: The Highland Cattle Help List
Subject: What’s a mother to do?
(more…)

This spring we were clearing the irrigation ditch of winter overgrowth. I was reflecting on the Woman’s Movement. Some early reformers insisted that empowering women required teaching them about competition. It’s true that we women of a certain age (pre-Title 9) never really understood it. We thought we’d learned competition at our mother’s knee. We thought we’d refined our skills through the crucible of Jr. High, and executed flawlessly from Garden Club to PTA the most carefully wrought and exquisitely nuanced sense of competition.

We were mistaken. (more…)

I couldn’t let the confirmation hearings go by without briefly commenting on Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s alleged “temperament” problems, which have been brought up repeatedly since her nomination and by Senator Lindsey Graham yesterday.       During yesterday’s session, Senator Graham read a list of anonymous complaints from attorneys who had argued cases in front of Justice Sotomayor.  These complaints stated that Justice Sotomayor is  ”angry”, “nasty, and “out of control”.  Senator Graham then accused Justice Sotomayor of being a bully and he questioned her fitness of character to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court. In contrast, Senator Graham conceded that current Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (about whose derisive, caustic disposition much has been written) is “no shrinking violet” and “tough”.  These traits, however, do not make Scalia a “bully”.  In other words, Sotomayor’s tenacity and assertiveness make her a “bully”, while Scalia is merely “no shrinking violet”. (more…)

Hi All,

Sorry for the late notice on this one. I’m told that DC-area FMHers are getting together again tomorrow (Tuesday) night–come one, come all! Here are the deets:

When: July 14th at 7:30 p.m.
Where: Le Pain Quotidien at 701 King Street in Alexandria.
Contact: Laura (Minerva) at misterlaura at gmail dot com

Allons enfants de la patrie…..

By: Stephanie

Many of you know that I have four sons, ages 2-9. In a few weeks, I will have my first (and probably last/only) daughter. I have a basic parenting philosophy: Our three priorities are family, church and education. Once the basics are done (dinner together as a family, family scripture study and prayer, FHE, going to church meetings and activities, getting good grades, reading a lot, doing all our homework, etc.), then I try to cultivate my children’s interests by letting them decide what activities they want to be involved in. For example, my oldest seems to enjoy basketball. He just finished a basketball camp. My second wanted a Build-A-Bear party for his birthday and chose to make a pink unicorn with tiara (he also likes Littlest Pet Shop). When my oldest learned about the Titanic, I rented the movie so we could watch it together (minus the sex scene, of course). I want to expose them to different things so they can find what they love and do it. (more…)

A couple of weeks ago, I hooked up with a new group of runners to do a long Saturday morning run. The night before we met for the first time I had sweaty, nervous dreams with all kinds of scenarios: not finding the group meeting spot, not finding people who ran a similar pace, not finding a bathroom when I needed one. But I didn’t envision the scenario that actually played out– that I’d end up spending two and a half hours chatting with a bunch of men as we ran around the city.

I realized that morning that more than my accustomed-to-flat-roads-legs were out of shape; I’m really out of practice when it comes to having guy friends. I’ve been married for 12 years and dated my husband for four more before that. While it’s easy to talk to men in my family, the friends of my husband, and the husbands of my girlfriends, I don’t have male friends outside of those three spheres.  (more…)

Enjoy her words and story as much as I did. -mf

By: BettyJo

Education

I mark the beginning of my adult life when I met my husband-to-be at the start of my 3rd year in high school. I dropped out of school that year (I was bored with it anyway). I had 2 kids before I turned 20.

I suppose the high school was glad to see my back. When I did attend class, I expect the teachers must have been frustrated by my lack of interest. I spent 2 months in after school detention when the TV Evening News caught me, truant yet again, participating in a Civil Rights March on the State Capital about the need for a Fair Housing Law. I didn’t get in trouble for it at home. Dad thought my interest in Civil Rights was just typical teenage girl rebellion out of which I would surely mature eventually. (wrong.) I was glad enough for that though, for I felt the School Detention quite enough punishment for speaking Truth to Power. (Late that very year I was ruefully reminded of this truth when my new husband and I were evicted from his flat. The tolerance of his landlord, while readily extending to renting to Chinese students, most decidedly did NOT extend to those Chinese with the cheek to marry white girls.)

(more…)

Since mfranti’s get-to-know-you post has been so popular and has got people in our CafePress store, I thought I’d see if there were some new products to add. And, by Hera, there were! There’s a whole spate of organic options now (finally!), some darker colors, and even a customized SIGG bottle. Check out our storefront here. Wearing this stuff will definitely make people around you blink.

(more…)

It seems like every time I take a little break or get busy from the site (for little things like education, food growing  or housecleaning). I  return to,  what seems to me,  a whole new cast of players in the fMh community.

It’s wonderful! But it can be confusing for the old-timers(that actually means me)  to keep up with everyone’s story.

I’d like for us to get to know each other–again.

So here’s a few questions to get you started:

How did you find fMh?

Why do you participate here?

Your thoughts on feminism, Mormonism and huswifery. (or not)

And, most importantly,  tell us a little bit about who you are.

Everyone is welcome to contribute-no matter how long you’ve been hanging around the ‘nacle.

Have fun!

Monday, I washed the spiderman sheets because they were covered in vomit.
Tuesday, I washed the spiderman sheets because they were soaked in pee.
Wednesday, I washed the spiderman sheets because we have pin worms, again.

  And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

  And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

                                        ~ Genesis 2:2,3

Once upon a time, we were married and childless. I worked, he worked, we never had enough time for housework and yardwork (to finish it, anyway), we always had date night and made an effort to stay social with our friends. Then we had a baby. Around 6 weeks later, I started getting sleep sufficient to function normally with a successful day meaning that I had had a shower and a walk. DH was not quite as sleep deprived, but neither was he getting what he needed. He kept going to work and would help at home when he came home. I took care of the baby and the dogs and looked forward to my co-parent returning. Then, when our baby was about 6 months old, we had a talk. We were both tired and felt that we each worked all day long for our family and never had any down time. We both needed downtime. And we wondered what we had done with all that time we used to have.

(more…)

Vote for fMh!

I resent motherhood therefore I don’t keep my house as clean as I “should”.

This is the conclusion I came to after some soul searching and stuff. At issue as I see it are two important questions. First, what’s up with this resentment thing and what can I (should I) do about it? And second, how clean should I keep my house, really?

Part I:

No doubt I am a selfish evil person for feeling resentment for doing the most important job in the world, especially since I actually chose to do this, so we can skip right over the part where you tell me how selfish and evil I am, oaky dokey? Now that’s settled . . . (more…)

By: Stacer

I just walked out of a joint Relief Society/Priesthood meeting today, and I’m so upset that I might not go back to that ward. (At the very least I know that as soon as my lease is up, I’m moving as far away from this place as possible.) I’ve had frustrations with this ward since I started attending–it’s a singles ward that allows anyone single under 40 and living in the area to attend–because up until today, I’ve never been able to get a seat in the chapel for sacrament meeting. That’s right–six months without being able to take the Sacrament because the doors were shut and they didn’t bring it out to the hall, and because the bishop doesn’t believe in opening the overflow. I asked him about this a few months ago, trying to express my frustration, and he said that he planned to solve the problem of “too many people” in the ward by marrying us off, not by opening the overflow. He’d even announced to the elders in Elder’s Quorum that their main goal for the year 2009 is to get married. (more…)

I spent the weekend at someplace very unusual. Amazing things to see and do and watch and buy. Part of the draw was the vendors. I’m the type who doesn’t buy much, but I found the most awesome must-have T-Shirt; solid black, cap sleeves, women’s cut with these words on the front:

…And then Buffy Staked Edward.

The End

(more…)

Less than a year ago, many Americans saw Sarah Palin as a breath of fresh air. Cindy McCain called her a “reform-minded … hockey-mommin’ …  basketball shootin’ … moose huntin’ … fly-fishin’ … pistol-packing … mother of five” in her RNC speech, and The Guardian’s Paul Harris said of her: “She does not look like a normal politician. She looks like what she says she is at heart: a mother who got into politics via the parent-teacher association at her local school. Or to put it another way: she looks like the voters she is aiming at.”

While I never related to Palin’s politics or her folksy down-homeness, I’ll admit that as a sometimes-frustrated SAHM, I was heartened that someone like me, someone who had chosen in her twenties to have a bunch of babies instead of a career, could hit it big. I didn’t agree with her, but I identified with her as a representative of the life I was living. When she came across as poised and witty, I cheered for her. When she messed up, I worried that people would write her off as just another SAHM didn’t have what it took.

Now that she’s resigned her post as governor, amid speculation that she’s gearing up for a presidential run in 2012 (which seems to be confirmed by a Facebook post alluding to a “higher calling”), I wonder if she’s still in touch with moms. After all, we’re the ones who stick around, day after day, to wipe noses, sweep floors, and supervise piano lessons. Yeah, sometimes we complain about it, sometimes we burn ourselves out juggling everything, and sometimes we fail, but very few of us give up on the important responsibilities with which we’ve been entrusted. Is that what Palin did?