Behold, and lo, I have much people in this place, in the regions round about;and an effectual door shall be opened in the regions round about in this easternland. ~D&C 100: 3, 12I,

Crazywomancreek wrote a lovely and replete post attempting to link all of the amazing presenters (fMhLisa, Shelah, Reese,Derek, Kimberly, me!) and some of our favorite folks from the bloggernacle  (KLS, Tracy M, Kaimi, Kristine H, Ms Jack Myers, Cheryl B, Caroline from the ExII, Joanna Brooks and Holly W.  and… too many to name!) with their respective blogs and/or bios but Wordpress…ate them.

You can ask Artemis, who is visiting me.  Wordpress is heavily influenced by a satanic spirit.  There I said it.

So I am sending you to the Sunstone Symposium link where you can peruse the program at your leisure.  Come if you can, we’d all like to meet you.  If you can’t make it but would like to support the awesomeness that it provides, consider donating online.   Also, here is a link to the story in today’s Salt Lake Tribune on the Symposium.

One last plug for the people who are the very foundation of all the work we do today; Lavina Fielding Anderson, Margaret and Paul Toscano, Paul Swenson, Jan Shipps and Claudia Bushman will all be presenting.  It is a serious dream-team of LDS academic and cultural icons.

What are you waiting for? Go get your tickets!

Sorry for the similarity with Nat’s post, “Bending and Breaking,” a couple of weeks back. I’d been fiddling with this post for a few weeks.  I thought about discarding it when Nat’s went up, but I eventually decided the angle was different enough to share.

Is there such a condition as Religious Multiple Religion Disorder? If so, I’ve got it in spades. I consistently find myself embracing seemingly opposing opinions on various religious principles at the same time.

(more…)

A YouTube Video fMh readers have to see,

Recently, our up and coming blogger, Petunia, daughter of mfranti, asked this question:

So, out of curiousity, why is Jesus ALWAYS depicted as white? He was born in israel and anyone who comes Israel now or then does not usually come to be of a lighter complexion. Or is He depicted as white because He wasn’t born from His mother and father genetics but from the Lords? The more I come across photos of the Lord, the more it provokes me to wonder, why is He depicted this way?

I have to say, I was not that precocious as a 16-year old. I lived in a mostly white world, and it never occurred to me that there was something wildly disingenuous about a blue-eyed Jesus, or a blonde-haired woman at the well. Exhibit A: (more…)

So I’m not exactly the science nerd type, the shameful truth is, I never in my life, not once, not ever, took a chemistry class.  Shameful, I told you.

So when the evolution/ intelligent design debates pop up, I don’t feel terribly invested in the whole thing.  I guess if I were to summarize my take on the situation it would be much the same way I feel about the nature/nurture debate, namely, it’s both.  Little bit ‘o nature, little bit ‘o nurture,  little bit ‘evolution designed by little bit ‘o intelligence.  Maybe.

But for all that I do think that God created (in God’s mind-bendingly awesome beyond my comprehension way) the Earth and the creatures that creep upon it.  I’ve never felt that a purely scientific, purely evolutionary explanation in any way conflicts or threatens this belief.  It doesn’t seem to me that understanding the mechanisms of evolution necessitates the next conclusion to be: therefore, there is no God. (more…)

As an unrepentant exhibitionist and someone who feels there’s been entirely too little of Janet around here lately, I chose this poem of Janet’s, originally published in November 2006.

Exhibitionism
modeled after “When I am Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple”

When I am a goddess I shall wear nothing
with ivory-peach skin and free toes which pad and don’t clatter.
And I shall spend my hours whirling
in the thin air of alpine meadows
(like Julie Andrews but less nun-like)
and raising goose-flesh on
bare arms at the grocery,
snatching cream pie and Breyers
and say I’ve no need for control top.

And I shall hold my shoulders straight,
ride the luggage return belt at celestial airports
and learn to whistle.

And then I shall fill a four-foot deep
tup with Calgon,
read Ovid and Ibsen,
lie like a cat in the sunshine
without apologies
for dimples and roundness.

And I shall burn barbies and
let my children dance at the flaming;
I shall cradle my guitar at my belly
like an italian lover,
suckle babies at my breasts
and tear those who hurt them.
I shall rename constallations,
ban calculus,
paint my toenails dandelion orange and
sing Tosca on the escalator
between bedding and housewares.

But now I must sort laundry,
match socks and let my nylons squeeze me like pythons.
I will skip double-dutch and braid thistle.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now
so people who don’t know me
are not aghast or offended
when I am a goddess and shed clothes like snakeskin.

by: RAH

RAH, has been lurking on FMH, along with his wife (EAH), for about a year. He has been an adult member of wards in Paris, Wyoming, and now Boston where his wife and 4 kids hopes he will finish his PhD soon.

____________________________

This post draws directly on the concept of the “Tempered Radical”, developed by Debra Meyerson and Maurine Scully two organizational scholars and feminists in their article “Tempered Radicalism and the Politics of Ambivalence and Change” (Organization Science, Sept-Oct, 1995) This concept also overlaps with the “faithful dissident” perspective that was a point of discussion on the blog a year so ago.

***

A very real dilemma faces individuals who are members of the LDS church and also deeply self-identify as feminists. Following this blog for a few days attests to the deep tensions and uncertainty we feel on a daily basis while trying to live in a way that reconciles these two identities. Meyerson and Scully argue that there are many ways to respond to the uncomfortable tension this creates - “some (individuals) leave the mainstream and some surrender their identities. However, separatism and surrender are not the only options. While frustration can be inevitable, individuals can affect change, and still enjoy authentic membership.” (595) (more…)

In the comments from Nat’s post last week, commenter Ryan made some statements that got me thinking. He struck me as a good natured guy, so I’m hoping he won’t feel picked on. There are a whole lot of people who have made similar statements here, he’s just our most recent example. In arguing on behalf of following the prophet with exactness, Ryan said:

Either the Book of Mormon is true or it isn’t; Either Joseph Smith was a Prophet or he was an impostor; etc. So, either Thomas S. Monson is the Prophet of God, or he is lying. I just don’t see that there’s a whole lot of wiggle room on the issue.

and:

I’m sure President Monson makes minor mistakes in his personal life. But on major issues in the Church, I don’t see how you can think he’s a Prophet if you believe he’s wrong.

and:

If he could screw up on a major issue, how can I trust anything he says? And if I can’t, what is the point of having a Prophet? I think it becomes a very slippery slope.

(more…)

by: Lula and Stephanieeeeeee
(Penitent Women and Authority slackers that we are, we promised we’d get back on the review wagon, pronto, lest we suffer death by feminist Lisa firing squad!)

We don’t really know what to say about Chapter 8 other than this: We agree wholeheartedly. 

Is that a good enough review?

*crickets**

“I need to announce that the stake president has instituted a new program for the Relief Societies in the stake,” the woman conducting a Relief Society meeting in my ward announced grudgingly.  “It’s called ‘The Bright Spot.’”  She held a poster of a smiling woman with her hair tied up in a red polka-dotted kerchief.  “Each month there will be a stack of cards here,” she explained, “with a task on it - like washing the windows or cleaning out the attic of our homes.  We’re all supposed to take one of the cards and…do what it says.”  She sighed, then looked up at the group:  “It wasn’t my idea.”  A slight groan went around the room before the speaker - a very committed member who would by no means identify herself as a feminist - continued.  She explained that the Relief Society presidency was protesting the program and we’d have to wait and see what happened.  I didn’t see anyone take a task card.  The poster stayed on the wall for a few weeks, and then quietly disappeared. 

(more…)

by Corktree

The issues surrounding the ERA are obviously not limited to a Mormon Feminist perspective - but we do have a unique one because of the church’s position and action against it.  In a recent heated discussion with my sister (who lives in California) over Prop 8 and our respective opinions, I related my concern that the involvement from the church was very similar to what happened over the ERA, and that by looking back on all that now, it seems strange that the church was so actively against it, and that maybe issues like allowing civil SSM will look differently 40 years from now.

But that’s the point, isn’t it?  How do we know what effect these laws will really have? The official position of the church on both issues have revolved around statements that effectively said, if we allow this to happen, “the family will be destroyed”.  Or at least, that’s what I get out of it.  But the thing is, in reading about the actual amendment and the official statements from the church, everything is speculation. (more…)

by: EAH

In teaching Primary today, on the topic of following the example of the Savior, the lesson just wasn’t working for my large senior primary. They were squirmy while I told stories of the savior - they’ve heard them all before - so I improvised.

“Who knows how to play charades? Let’s act out things people do to show they are following the Savior’s example!”

First, a boy stood up and acted like he was teaching/preaching. “Yes! We all need to teach the gospel and share our knowledge with people at church and all other friends. Very good!”

The next boy read scriptures. “Absolutely! Who read their scriptures today? Not yet? There’s still time! Did Jesus read the scriptures? Yes he did, and he taught from them too!”

“Who else can act out how we follow Christ’s example?”

Enter the girls. (Unlike the boys, they act in groups of course) (more…)

This post by Judy Cannon was first published Nov 9, 2005. 

I like the use of the concept of “soft power” and “hard power” in relation to women in the church. I think that it’s true, on a day to day basis, many (if not most) women in the church feel perfectly fine about participation, treatment, and even exercise of power within a limited domain within the church. Most women are not treated as inferior by men, although there are certainly still cases in which chauvinism abounds. But I think the important thing to recognize is that whatever power women exercise in the church comes in the form of “soft power”, or purely in the form of influence, rather than hard power, or decision making power. (more…)

We Mos gots rules.

Ask any Mormon what rules they have to live by, and about 25 can probably be rattled off of the top of your head.

No swearing.
No R-rated movies.
No “inappropriate” music.
No shorts above the knee.
No two-piece smimsuits.
No baggy pants.
No caffeine.
No coffee.
No tea.
No tobacco.
No alcohol.
No drugs.
No sex before marriage.
No same-sex sex ever.
No steady dating before missions.
No sleeveless shirts.
No tattoos
No facial or body piercings
No more than one ear piercing.
No facial hair.
No “extreme styles”.
No pornography.
No shopping on Sundays.
No recreation on Sundays.
No dating until you’re 16.
No open-mouthed kissing.
No inappropriate touching.
3 hours of church on Sunday.
1 1/2 - 2 years of a mission.
Wear your garments every day.

Get the idea?

What purpose do these rules have? Does every single one of the above actually have a practical explanation? Is the purpose of group cohesion and identity formation adequate explanation in itself? Or are the rules established simply as arbitrary ways to exercise control? Why do we follow all of the above? (more…)

I’ve recently discovered that Percy Jackson ain’t got nothing on me when it comes to famous ancestors.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were invited to attend the six-week Temple and Family History Sunday School class. The first class was pretty depressing. We got into our Family Search account and looked ourselves up. Once we linked him into his dead grandparents, hundreds of ancestors popped up on the screen. We kept scrolling back, and pretty soon we were back in England and Switzerland and Germany. Most of the converts in his family crossed the plains in wagons or pulling handcarts, so it should come as no surprise that the vast majority of the temple work on those names was already done. We zeroed in on one ancestor and realized that his temple work had been done more than a dozen times. (more…)

If your life is at all like mine, then your helpful friends and relatives have sent many wildly scandalized and deeply distraught emails about how those dirty Massachusetts liberals are trying to make our kindergartners have sex by making condoms available in schools.

If I can look beyond the fact that I am highly annoyed by the strident hysterical tone, I too can admit that despite my own dirty liberal tendencies I think it’s weird and disturbing that a five-year-old can walk into a nurse’s office and ask for condoms, no questions asked.  Let me admit that I’m not actually sure what all the true details are (I can’t pinpoint why but I hesitate to believe everything people send me in emails.) but shouldn’t a five-year-old asking for condoms be referred to social services?  Or something? (more…)

Petunia is a 16 year old Laurel that lives in Salt Lake City. She’s a convert to the Church, reader of sci fi/fantasy (she didn’t get it from me), lover of shoes and budding feminist. She is loved by EVERYONE (seriously, the fMh permas like her more than me) and she’s also my daughter.

/begin momma bear mode

I would ask that your comments take into consideration that Petunia is not able to argue at the level you are accustomed to. That means, if you take issue with her opinions, find a polite and age appropriate way to do it. If you’d like, you can direct any and all nastiness my way.

/end momma bear mode

By: Petunia

While I’m away from home visiting family, I’ve quickly developed a new morning ritual of coffee and facebook (my mom is a computer hog and never lets me use her laptop). Within a few minutes of being online, a friend hopped on, asked me what I’m up to and I responded with: “ I’m drinking my coffee and checking face book”. (more…)

It’s ironic now, looking back on it after almost twenty-five years, but the Family Home Evening manual (yes, the same one with the family and the braided rug on the cover that’s probably on your bookshelf) had a pivotal role in bringing me into the church. I bought one during our family’s marathon trip to Temple Square back in the summer of 1988, a trip that was intended as just an hour “touring the Mormon temple” but turned into a three-day exploration of everything the place had to offer (except, of course, a tour of the temple) and culminated in my family getting baptized several months later. I read the book from cover to cover, learning all about how Mormons view prayer and service and the importance of brownies and root beer floats.

Once we joined the church, I quickly decided that they probably had to use an illustration rather than a photograph for the cover of the manual, because a real-life photograph would show someone in the family sleeping, someone else sneaking off to talk on the phone, and a parent flaring her nostrils in frustration. At least that’s how it went in my house when I was a teenager, and my mom thought a good FHE lesson was rehashing everything she’d learned in Relief Society, not that anyone else in the family was all that willing to take over and teach in her place. In college, I spent four years shirking organized Family Home Evenings, where the assigned “brothers” always deferred treat-baking to the girls and spent the evenings checking us out. In my early married years, my husband insisted that “every night was family night” and since he was right, I didn’t put up a fight. (more…)

The original post can be found here.  

Just a reminder that Stephen M (Ethesis) and Win Marsh - AKA Amateur Parent are hosting a pool party for families in or around Texas this weekend.

I’ve received feedback that a few people haven’t been able to access the invitation. Here is the information: (more…)

Here’s a familiar scenario from my life:

I’m walking the 5 blocks from my work to my bus stop. As I’m about to round the final corner, I see MY BUS pull away from the stop. Usually, a whispered “Oh Sh!#” drops from my lips, and I start running. I desperately wave my hands in the air like a maniac, jumping up and down, staring at the driver, desperately hoping to make eye contact so that s/he’ll pull it over and let me on before they cross the intersection.

Two different things usually happen -
A) The driver sees me, shrugs her shoulders, and drives on, keeping to her pre-determined schedule. I was too late. My bad.
B) The driver sees me, stops for a moment, pops open the door, and lets me in. I breathlessly thank him, flash him a somewhat pathetic smile, and squeeze into an open seat.

Notice the bolded words? Yes, the gender of the driver is a pretty accurate predictor of whether or not they’ll go against official policy and stop for me.

Cuz let’s face it, I’ve got boobs. (more…)

Originally posted June, 2008

( I don’t think cell phones are evil anymore than I think a cocktail is evil. However, when misused and abused by individuals, both can be equally as deadly)

Watch this:

Did you see what you were supposed to see? (more…)

That’s how I answered the man who remarked, “Four boys, huh? You have your hands full!”

It’s not my usual response (since I hear this ALL. THE. TIME.). I am a candid person (a commenter on here once called it “boorish”), so my usual response is an exasperated, “Yes! I do have my hands full!”

But this was at the end of a long day at Six Flags. We had arrived before the gates opened, and we stayed until after they closed. My boys and I rode roller coasters all day long (while DH watched the baby and toddler). I had the time of my life.

So at the end of this really long and really fun day, I truly meant it when I said, “It’s actually a lot of fun” to have all these kids.

I’ve been thinking a lot about a comment I made on the choices thread a few days ago. Here is what I said:

I guess I have always believed that, for me, the most righteous thing to do is to have a bunch of kids and be a SAHM . . . as I look at other women who made different choices (have fewer kids and work outside the home while raising them) and seem a whole lot happier than I am, I do ask these questions of myself, “Did I have to make these choices? Could I have chosen something else?” . . . My choices are mine. I’m just glad to be seeing more options now.

I have been thinking about that a lot. If I could go back and do it again, would I still choose to have 5 kids? YES.

It has been hard - harder than I ever imagined. The past few years have been especially difficult, particularly 2007, 2008 and 2009. These were dark years for me. My fourth child was born in 2007 and my fifth in 2009. I’ve dealt with health problems and depression in the postpartum stages of both of those pregnancies. I’ve been on FMH sharing my struggles for most of that time. I want to be honest about my experiences, so I tell it like it is. And it’s been hard. And crappy. And I’ve said that.

But I also want to share the good and why I chose to have 5 kids. So this post is a counterpoint to myself. (more…)

There tends to be three different views regarding women and the priesthood. 1.) Women will never ever ever have it because men don’t get to bear children and that’s the way God made things forever and ever amen. 2.) The priesthood needs to be extended to women. 3.) Women are given the priesthood/ a priestesshood in the temple, but aren’t allowed to exercise it yet.

I think the evidence is pretty compelling towards #3. Historically, endowed women were referred to as priestesses. Particularly prominently charismatic women like our friend Eliza Snow. Then you have our modern ceremony, which not only promises women they will be priestesses, but clothes us in the garments of the holy priesthood and has us participate in the symbols of advancing through the priesthood. And of course, there are some pretty convincing statements from Joseph Smith.

All that has been percolating away in my brain, and then in a discussion about whether or not we would ever be allowed to pray to Heavenly Mother, I thought about the Heavenly division of labor. If we understood how that worked, maybe there would be times when we would pray to Heavenly Father, like when I really need the car to start, and times when I would pray to Heavenly Mother, like when I wanted my garden to grow.

OK, I’m perennially flippant, but my flippancy led me down another path, and this is what I’d like to talk about.  So let’s say there is this priestesshood hinted at in the temple. And let’s pretend that one day we were allowed to practice it. What do you think that would look like? Are there any functions a priestesshood would be responsible for that the priesthood wouldn’t be? Would there continue to be a division of labor along gender lines? Knowing that God’s house is a house of order, is there ever a way to be separate and equal?  Or would we just hear, “Congratulations, you get to exercise your priestesshood. And the first duty of the priestesshood is to run the home. So get to work.”

By: Apogee

In 1860 the newly-formed Republican party vowed in its platform to abolish the “twin relics of barbarism”: slavery and polygamy. It is somewhat remarkable that the odd religious practices in a territory of some 40,000 people could rouse the same ire as a centuries-old practice dominating the southern tier of the nation. Such was the repulsiveness of polygamy.

Polygamy was, as the Book of Mormon put it, an abomination to women. I can only imagine how today’s Mormon women regard it. To my wife it is Unmentionable(and my wife is a free speaker). As a non-woman I can only sympathize, never empathize. (more…)

I’m confident about a lot of things, but admit to being utterly baffled when confronted with a tip jar. Is tipping strongly encouraged or merely suggested? Do I look like a jerk if I don’t slip in some change? Do I always have to write in a tip when I get take-out or place a counter order and there’s a tip line on the credit card slip? Should I refrain from tipping at the counter on principle? What if they sing if I drop in a dollar? What’s a girl to do?

Last weekend I was in charge of picking up boxed lunches for a large group. I placed the order a week ahead of time at one of SLC’s yummiest bakeries, called on Friday to confirm, called again Saturday morning to make sure everything was running smoothly, and arrived right on time. The order wasn’t ready. The girls behind the counter had spent the morning filling a last-minute cupcake order, which was followed by a caramel catastrophe, and the end result was that my fellow picker-upper and I waited for 30 minutes while they scrambled to finish. We ended up tossing the sandwiches in boxes, labeling them, and carrying everything out to the car. By the time I handed over the credit card, I was sweating– and it wasn’t just the June heat; we’d worked hard to get the job done. Then I was confronted by the increasingly-familiar write-in gratuity line (mind you, this a bakery– counter service only, no designated wait staff). As I handed over the slip, I said, “I’m sorry I can’t write in a gratuity, I’m picking up the order for an organization.” One girl looked crestfallen, “Oh really?,” she replied. I felt bad for her, threw them $20 from my wallet, and sped off grumbling with the lunches, arriving back at the conference just in time to recompose my face with a smile before the lunch crowd descended.

So here’s my question? The order was over $500, should I be expected to tip for a counter-service order? If so, how much? The traditional 15-20% for a seated meal would have set me back more than a hundred bucks, and somehow I can’t justify that for what I got, especially considering that the order wasn’t ready when we arrived, and wouldn’t have been ready by lunch time if my friend and I hadn’t rolled up our sleeves and pitched in. If tipping for mediocre counter service isn’t expected, then why do I feel guilty if I don’t do it? Why the heck is the gratuity line now included on the credit card slip for virtually all counter-service restaurants? Is it to sucker poor saps like me who don’t want to be thought of as cheap? When do you tip and when don’t you? I always tip generously for seated meals (my aunt, now almost 50, has been a restaurant server for 35 years and my first job was as a waitress, so I know well enough not to be chintzy in those situations) but seriously– does the kid who scoops my kids’ ice cream deserve an extra buck for doing his job?

Since my other post seems to be a bit ‘controversial’ sigh, here is my ‘response’. A great post by EmilyS from way back in 2005. Enjoy, think and discuss. -N.O.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have never made a personal choice with the intent to belittle someone else’s choices. No, strangely enough, I make choices to satisfy my own (and my family’s) needs, wants, and understanding of what Heavenly Father wants of me/us. I’m pretty sure that most of us make choices with the same things in mind. So why, then, does it seem that we are so very often bothered by the choices of others? (more…)

I just finished re-reading all the comments in the Latitude post, trying to think of something to say. And all I can say is this: I seem to parent quite differently than most of the rest of you. (more…)

It’s 1:30 a.m. I am trying to outlast the 10 little boys in my living room. We are having a sleepover.

Some of you who know me are probably laughing because you know that we don’t do sleepovers. DH and I have discussed it, and we both feel that potential problems outweigh the benefits, so we are a “no sleepover” family. When my children are invited to sleepovers, they go to the party, but we pick them up at midnight. I think it is a pretty fair compromise.

My 10 year old doesn’t. (more…)

As I have been contemplating my daughter’s upcoming baptism, I’ve been very thinky and angst-filled as is my way.  But when the idea came to me of performing it out of doors, in a river or pond or some such it was like an answer to a prayer.  I had a mind’s eye vision of Jesus being baptized in a river, and of Joseph Smith, and of my many pioneer ancestors, all experiencing this rebirth in the arms of mother nature.  And the idea itself, and the symbolism attached to it brought me a lot peace.

I know quite a few people who were baptized out of doors in the fairly recent past, and I have a grand-nephew who was baptized at Martin’s Cove only weeks ago. But as I’ve forwarded the idea I’ve met with quite a bit of resistance from the powers that be, so I was wondering what has been the larger experience out of the font?  Anyone here been to or participated in such a baptism and what hoops did you have to jump through to make it happen?

This is a letter written from my grandmother to my grandfather in 1952 when they were newlyweds. She was a New Yorker who walked through Central Park to get to church. He was from a small Utah town and serving in the military. She wrote this letter four months after they were married to tell him why she wanted to get an education. He was stationed in San Diego, and she was working as a comptometer operator in Utah.

I cried while I read it. I know the rest of the story. After my grandfather left the service, they settled down. He taught history to high school students, and they had five children in eight years. She was going to school to study library science (because my grandfather thought that suited her) when he died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. Her oldest was fourteen. Since that time, she has had a hard, hard life. Knowing her experience of being widowed with young children (and my mother’s experience of being divorced with young children) caused me to want to get a lot of education before having kids. My motivation was to support myself and my family if needed. My grandma’s motivation was so, so much more. I never knew I came from such feminist stock. Enjoy. (more…)