Teens and Addiction
by LAGirrrl,
I attended a conference for L.A. Department of Mental Health and Police Dept. yesterday and it was all about working with teens and the challenge it is. Here’s an overview with some useful info:
TEENS AND ADDICTION:
Most teens are not addicts. They are experimenting or curious and have a strong belief that “Drugs won’t hurt me.” Teens also live in a social atmosphere. They may begin to use regularly by thinking of getting high or loaded, most of their friends may be using and it may be awkward to enjoy a social life unless they are loaded. Some areas of their life may then become affected (home, school, job).
A drug is any substance other than food and water that changes the way the body or mind functions. Both legal and illegal drugs can be harmful. Psychoactive drugs change our feelings, thoughts and behaviors.
SUBSTANCES:
Nicotine, alchohol, marijuana
Stimulants (Ecstasy, cocaine, crack, crystal meth, amphetamine)
Narcotics (Heroin, oxycotin, percocet, DM)
Hallucinogens (LSD, mushrooms)
Inhalants (Nitrate, poppers, glue, gas, paint thinner)
ADDICTION: The drug/alcohol/behavior (sex, gambling, media) is the MOST IMPORTANT THING in the person’s life. Other important activities such as family, sports, school, old friends become less important.
Compulsive Behaviors include Sex, Food, Gambling, Exercise, Meda Abuse (internet, games)
Addiction Sneaks up on you! The person will begin to have withdrawal symptoms such as tremor, tension, sweating, palpitations, increased pulse rate for use of narcotics. Stimulant withdrawals include dehydration, dulled senses, fatigue, anxiety, irritability, anhedonia.
Watch for social relationships that cause a person to become irritable, example; they blow-up over little things. Sleeping a lot of not at all, lack of focus or ability to function are warning signs. Changes in the persons home/classroom behavior also suspiciousness. Always needing more money.
I know these sound obvious but you would be alarmed/amazed by parents that see the signs but don’t act on them. They don’t want the problem to be drugs. Adults must stay educated on drug trends and ask the questions of their kids. Your job as a parent/adult is to help teens develop into adults. Remain calm. Never provide general assurances like “you’ll be fine!” KEEP YOUR WORD. You will lose too much credibility if you do not. Be active and make educated guesses or predictions. Face reality by focusing on behavior and not the talk.
Factors predicting youth substance use are family history, impusivity, novelty/sensation seeking (curious), low conscientiousness, conduct disorder and/or anti-social behavior. Depression, anxiety and aggression along with neurotiscism can be traits to a child that will have addiction.
HOW TO INTERVENE:
Recognize that youth behavior is often unpredictable and know that authority figures have little effect these days. Show that you care! Describe behavior and consequenses in a “matter of fact” tone. Don’t over-react and stay consistent. Please have a back up plan like a substance abuse program or a stay at a shelter for a time out, etc. and know your facts and resources. Know what drugs and drug paraphenelia can look like, a soda can or piece of tin foil, a carved out apple with a sink screen filter for a bong and a can of whip cream can all be used to get high.
ACTIVELY LISTEN!
Things to say: “I don’t want you to harm yourself. I know that you are hurting inside. Sometimes it may even feel that you are out of control. We can get help.”
“I’m worried about you. Have you thought of talking to someone who can help? Let me tell you what I know.”
This is a brief knowledge of what it is and what to look for in teens using. Unfortunately we are still putting a lot of money into the DARE program which is not a successful program and kids tend to make fun of it as a source of education and prevention. Education is very important but scaring kids into abstinence rarely works either. The addiction recovery profession is constantly examing what is working and what will make the difference.
Teens and Tweens will say “F#*% you!” and that is the hardest part of this process. You have to be bigger than their fear and heartache to begin to intervene with them.
Good info, LAGirrrl. I think too often we forget that prescription and over-the-counter stuff can lead to addiction.
I wanted to add that there’s a difference between drug dependency and drug addiction. Paranoid of how constant surgeries guarantee me a steady supply of percocet, which I take because I dislike living in pain, I announced to my doctor that I wasn’t going to take it anymore because I didn’t want to be an addict. He asked what my motivations were for taking the drug (pain relief) and explained that they differed from an addict’s.
It might seem like a totally obvious distinction, but it wasn’t to me. And i know some LDS people who will simply not take painkillers–even Tylenol in one case–because they think that to do so violates the WOW. That sort of attitude isn’t helpful either.
Comment by Janet — April 5, 2007 @ 5:53 pm
Oh–and a question. YOu rightly remind us not to overact to a teen’s behavior. But how do you know what response is appropriate and what’s over- or under-reacting? That seems a very hard thing to figure out.
My parents probably would’ve freaked that I got contact highs at concerts, even though I never toked on anything myself. And to be honest, I don’t want my kids getting second-hand highs, either. But what to do? I have no idea.
Comment by Janet — April 5, 2007 @ 5:55 pm
I don’t even know if this just applies to teens or if it just extends into adulthood. Most of my close friends are not LDS. My husband and I and all of them are in our late 20’s/early 30’s. Out of say 20 people, almost none of them *ever* drink alcohol. Unless they get together. We get together for a party, and suddenly it’s time for drinking!!
Very weird to me.
Comment by Needless Thinker — April 5, 2007 @ 6:03 pm
My daughter (who has struggled for years with an eating disorder) created a remarkable, brave documentary about herself. Here’s the link.
http://myartisfashion.blogspot.com/
Comment by Margaret Young — April 5, 2007 @ 8:44 pm
Sadly exposure to drug culture begins early in life nowadays. Drug dealing to parents awaiting 6-11 year olds outside schools has featured in prosecutions in UK for over a decade.
It is hardly mentioned but pornography via the internet is common from 8 upward in males. This is only being discovered retrospectively as men who are married are discovered and seek help with their addiction and refer to it. Years ago working in drug rehab and taking history of addiction from people would reveal the same pattern of childhood habits becoming addiction in teens.
Perhaps pornoraphy in LDS marriages isn’t spoken of by members often but bishops stake presidents and high Councillors etc do encounter it and it is a concern. Many divorces both civil and temple are caused by it. If you cannot trust your “other half” how can you share physical intimacy with them? You can try to love them and encourage them to seek counselling and help but for many women (but not exclusively) it is impossibleto reconcile this addiction with marriage. Counselling can assist but success rates are not wonderful and this is one of those situations where divorce however distressing is a better option.
Female use of pornography is subtly different, but exists and although fewer LDS women are involved it is not unknown.
All addictive behaviours are a danger to ….the Family as a unit which was a divine creation. Through subtle deceptions, habits form and these threaten others.
Didn’t mention chocolate oops blushes sorry sisters didn’t mean to!
Comment by Max C — April 5, 2007 @ 11:07 pm
Our stake did a 2 hr (Sunday School/RS-Priesthood) presentation on substance abuse a few weeks ago. There was an LDS cop w/ powerpoint presentation of drugs, names, and paraphanelia, as well as parents who have experienced the loss or near loss of a child to substance abuse. (including one addicted to pain killers) The young man who was addicted to pain killers (his dr prescribed 3 mths worth! and he was hooked after that) actually committed suicide b/c he was so desperate to escape the prison of addiction. It was a really sad story.
It was really interesting that they would address everyone (so few families have teens) on these issues, but it is telling of the concern our stake presidency has about substance abuse and how we can’t hide our heads in the sand anymore. I was startled to learn how early children are doing drugs, inhalants being popular at age 11, for example.
A form of the presentation was given to the youth during mutual, but it wasn’t as effective b/c there were no visuals/slides, etc.
Has anyone else had a church sponsored presentation like this?
Comment by Jessawhy — April 6, 2007 @ 12:20 am
Janet–Handling all situations with honesty and concern are of benefit to the teen and parent. If they are doing it for a reaction you will have leveled the playing field by a matter of fact tone as well as being educated on the subject. Too many parents decide they don’t know what to do and wait too late or enable that child and literally love to “death”.
Needless Thinker–I have seen this phenomenon in many work places plus I worked a lot of corporate parties during the holidays where I saw employees get so drunk they couldn’t walk! That just seems like the worst idea ever. Even with my fellow classmates, many are in recovery, they get a sparkle in their eye to glamorize and reminisce about their drinking/using days. The stigma is very much in polar opposites the glamour of social drinking vs. the stigma of being an alcoholic. Very confusing indeed.
Margaret–thank you for sharing and the courage your daughter has to open up is wonderful. I’m glad we are continually coming out of the closet with eating disorders. I had a couple of young women that were struggling with anorexia and bulimia and very little to truly help.
I had a conversation with the director of LDS Social Services of S. CA (last year) and asked if I could start a 12 Step support group for eating disorders and he said that the church most likely would not take on that kind of liability and that the Brethren were slow to move on any such issues. It was a very frustrating conversation as we both pointed to the culture of Mormonism and the breeding ground it was for eating disorders but the lack of resources to heal them.
Max–I do know the 12 Step programs for substance abuse is out their for members as my home stake has one and I know the leaders of that meeting. I think there are also some specifically addressing the addiction of porn. I have known of male members that participate and families that are healing and trying to manage with the aftermath of this addiction. That one I’m not sure about, maybe someone knows more about what help the church is offering. I think it’s great that we as a culture are beginning to address these issues in a healthy way and encouraging help and healing to begin, no matter how slow these programs have been in coming.
Jessawhy-I’m so glad their is education for our youth and the members, yippee! I’d love to hear if anyone else has had such presentations like as well.
Comment by LAGirrrl — April 7, 2007 @ 6:27 pm
Max, I’d love to address our addiction to sugar/chocolate… just try to give it up if you don’t think you are addicted…or there is always the conversation of being addicted to the internet!
Comment by LAGirrrl — April 7, 2007 @ 8:53 pm
I can give up the Internet any time I want to.
I just don’t want to.
Comment by diogenes — April 7, 2007 @ 10:16 pm
I try to exercise people’s “chuckle muscles” sometimes when I post! Sometimes humour in one community doesn’t translate to another.
More seriously addiction to porn is becoming a concern worldwide. I don’t know these days what LDS Social Services may offer there in various parts of the world but most law enforement agencies are tacling paedophilia and the more violent end of the huge problem.
It is a tragedy for families affected by any form of addictive behaviour.
Comment by Max C — April 8, 2007 @ 12:49 am
We had a recovering drug addict talk about her experiences with addiction and the churchs 12-step program about a year and a half ago. It was one of the most moving talks I’ve ever heard, and one I can’t imagine having occurred in the church of my youth. That Sunday I felt very proud of our cultural progress…
Comment by Janet — April 8, 2007 @ 6:55 pm
You know, I heard somewhere (if anyone else has details or sources, please share) that if the teen thinks his/her parents definitely will find out what he/she is doing, they’re less likely to do it.
If that is so, then failing to call them on it when you find out about their actions is one of the worst things you can do. Trying to spare them embarrassment is not helping.
If you find drug stuff under your son’s mattress, you’d better let him know about it immediately. Same goes for porn.
Comment by Seth R. — April 9, 2007 @ 5:56 pm
I stumbled across this rather randomly, and at first thought the post was sarcastic. Sadly, most of the parents who fail to see their child’s drug abuse are turning a blind eye. I’m not sure how much this kind of information helps people - I’m curious how many people looked at their *own* kids after reading this.
I’m a recovering drug addict, and my parents definitely turned a blind (or on the lighter stuff a winking) eye to it for about as long as they could. And then some.
But that was far from the whole story, and if your kid is experimenting with drugs there are a whole host of issues to look at: social and mental health come to my mind. Dealing with a messed up home life put more kids in the seats next to me at rehab than any other factor (but this one is the hardest to own up to for parents).
If your minor child is using drugs - please keep them out of in-patient rehab if you can. Most kids there are simply making worse friends who are teaching them new and “better” highs - and making their issues/problems seem trivial. Do NOT send your kid to rehab for pot unless you want them to come home a meth-head or junkie.
If your kid is already deep into addiction (and by this I mean losing their life to it in one sense or another) please remember that it’s a process. Few of us get clean and stay that way the first time around, and it’s possible to make a distinction between condoning relapse and understanding how tough it is to get and stay clean.
If you find it in your kids’ stuff - talk to them. If it’s “my friend’s” then tell that “friend’s” parents too - and keep the two separated. Regardless - give them a drug test. As a kid I would have hated this kind of advice going to parents, but it may well have kept me from smoking pot - and caught soon enough I may have been scared off of going farther. (Keep in mind, pot has a VERY long half-life in the body - someone can test positive up to 30 days after use, sometimes longer - other drugs leave the system in as little as two days.)
If you’ve caught your kid once - or had cause to give a drug test at all - put them on notice that they are going to be subject to RANDOM drug tests. Then - and this is important - DO IT. Even if it’s embarassing - even if you worry about what someone thinks when you’re buying the tests at the local drugstore. Your kid WILL have a great deterant AND a great excuse for not using.
Comment by Julia — April 15, 2007 @ 11:16 pm
Its funny that one of the substances on the list is LSD. You all seem to be talking about how horrible addiction is. I agree. Addiction to chemicals is not a good thing and leads to many bad roads but LSD (before made illegal in 1968 by Richard Nixon) proved to be just the opposite of what you think of as addiction. LSD was used succesfully on patients for addicts of all kinds. Many came out of the experience no longer feeling any urge to continue using addictive substances. It was a huge break through for its time because of its many benifits the consumer had after the “trip.” It helped many people with mental dissorders as well. I have read many incidents where mental dissorders were curred after given LSD.
People need to start recognizing that not everything that gets labbled as an illegal drug doesnt have any kind of personal benifit. Through the experience of LSD and other hallucinogens, called “The Psychedelic Experience,” people have found enlightenment from the begging of recorded time and there is proof of this in many places.
I know none of you probably have problems often with LSD but teens are exposed to it in the drug world. This is somthing that is not ment for people who are not ready for it though. If your child is still in school odds are is that he or she is not ready for the experience. If anyone should find out that their child has used hallucinogens you should talk to them ABOUT the experience. You may find that talking about ones epxerience may lead to a very possitive mind set. There is always something to be learned while there, the only problem is that many do not go into it for that reason.
Now I am not suggesting that anyone take LSD or other hallucinogens but if you do find that your child has used them before please talk to them about. Talking with them about what they actually experienced is deffinetly the best way to haddle the situation. Now if this comes up with your child you can explain, “There are people and have been many people that believe in the experience that you had but that is not what we believe. It is not an addictive substance and it is not a deadly substance. “
Comment by Doctor Alk — April 20, 2007 @ 4:34 pm
If your child is using drugs, as a parent, you are very likely “in denial.” This doesn’t mean you are deliberating turning a blind eye or condoning the behavior, it means that you are using a basic coping mechanism to deny something that is very painful.
I belong to a support group comprised of parents whose kids are in recovery from chemical addiction. What most of us have in common beside the “addict kid” is that we all went through a period of denial. Some of the parents include those “trained” to identify signs of addiction - psychologists, doctors, teachers, ministers, licensed chemical dependency counselors — and some of the parents were former alcoholics or addicts themselves or came from families where addiction was prevalent. None of those experiences help when it’s your own kid. Chances are, you won’t see it until it hits you good and hard in the face with a call from the school or the police. If you see “signs” you’ll pass it off as “experimenting” because “addiction” happens to “other people.”
One “myth” that we parents like to believe is that if we’re “good parents,” our kids won’t do drugs or become addicts. Most of the parents in my support group were also the parents who read stories at bedtime, brought cupcakes to the school, stood on the sidelines for soccer games on cold, wet mornings, and made a point to know who our kids were with and where. All the kids went through the “DARE” program. Many of the kids were even identiified as gifted/talented — one counselor told me that the smarter the kids were, the longer they were able to hide their drug use from their parents. The “myth” is that being a good parent works like an insurance policy to “prevent” addiction. I wanted very much to believe this — but it’s simply not true.
My son and our family are all in recovery now - each of us working our own 12 step program. And it has been life changing in a very positive way. I had to accept that I was powerless over what my son chose to do - even if that included drugs… that was very hard to accept. (Trust me, counselors, military camp, private school, etc.Tried it all!). I finally handed him and his life over to my higher power. As a mom who willing to do anything to “save my kid,” it was hard to accept that I could only change myself. The person I was turning into trying to save my kid was a scary, insane person. I had to save me. An example I’ve heard often is that it’s like what they tell you on a plane - in a crisis, you need to put your own oxygen mask and start breathing before you try to help someone else.
I try not to look back, but one thing I wish would have happened… is that one of the school counselors, psychologists, tutors, etc. would have said “drug test him.” I would have thought they were kind of crazy, but it sure would have got to the root of the problem lots faster. My son made a reckless decision to “try drugs,” but he never planned to become addicted. The fact is that the “experimenters” are playing Russian roulette. Some people can walk away from that first joint or pill. Others take the bullet.
On the list of drug types above, you really need to list “anything in anyone’s medicine cabinet.” “Pharm parties” are the trend these days. Snorting Adderall (commonly prescribed ADD medicine) is also quite common. And websites like erowid.org provide all the info any kid needs to know about a drug - including first person accounts of what the “high” was like. Girls worried about their weight and/or their grades are attracted to Meth - you don’t need to sleep for days (lots of time to study) and you’re not hungry at all.
The research supports that the younger kids are when they first try alcohol or drugs, the more likely they are to be addicted. I would draw a very hard line on consequences for “experimenting” if I could go back a couple of years. (no license, no car, live elsewhere for a period of time, etc.) I also support drug testing. As an earlier poster suggested, it gives them an out if there’s peer pressure. But drug testing isn’t “insurance” either. Check out erowid.org (and numerous other websites that offer effective ways to “beat the drug test.”
I also agree with the last poster who suggested “talking with your kid” about their LSD experiences - I would suggest talking about it on the way to a rehab that specializes in adolescents.
My son has been sober eight months now and is reaching out to help other teens in recovery. How cool is that? Not the path I had in mind when I looked at him in the nursery window, but for reasons I don’t understand, I feel this is the path meant for him.
Comment by Vicki — April 22, 2007 @ 11:33 pm
Thanks for this post!
I’ve a troubled daughter. We don’t know that she used anything seriously yet. Since we don’t allow coffer, tea or beer, those things may give her enough sense of rebellion. But we do know we need to remain alert. She’s 14, and so volutile. I’ll be sharing these insights with her mother.
Thanks again.
Comment by Trueheart — April 28, 2007 @ 3:33 pm
To the person who seems to think LSD is a cure-all:
There are some grains of truth to what you said. However, “curing” addiction through an LSD trip is an exceptionally uncommon experience. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it as “treatment”. It is comparatively rare, but I have known people addicted to hallucinagens.
I’ve also seen it enhance/uncover/cause more psychatric disorders than I’ve seen it cure (the latter statistic being a big fat 0). A young brain yet to fully develop areas of the brain responsible for judgement and self control is playing with a loaded gun pointed at their head.
Think it’s not deadly or harmful? I’ve got a friend, who was actually on the verge of giving up drugs entirely, decide to have “one last trip” and fall face-first off his roof (he wanted to watch the stars). He broke every bone in his face and faces a lengthy recovery.
Any spiritual insights are generally fleeting, and unless someone is inclined to view them as a preview and get down to work on reaching a spiritual life through hard work they’ll likely repeat the same tired experience again and again and think they’re “deep”.
I agree with you - grudgingly - on only one point: If your child’s experimentation is limited, you’ve got more to lose in sending them to rehab than you have to gain.
Also - the above points were targeted at someone blowing off the possible issues in LSD use. You will get ZERO credibility with your kids by taking a doomsday approach. They’re teens, invincible, and anyway, they see their friends doing it to no apparent ill-effect.
Comment by Julia — April 29, 2007 @ 10:05 pm