Happy News Moment that Lasts for Eternity
On January 12, a temple worker bundled Muffin up into a white stroller and brought him to my mother, who stood outside the sealing room in the Salt Lake Temple where my husband and I waited with friends and family. He fussed in the hallway, undoubtedly confused by the very existence of a pure white stroller and the hordes of affectionate elderly strangers who refused to allow him to crawl on the furniture or chew and roll the temptingly tall shiny vases. As my mom took our little boy in her arms and approached the altar, Muffin immediately stopped crying and smiled happily around the room. While he normally makes a greased piglet appear sedate, Muffin did not squirm. He cooed at my husband, turned and cooed at me, offered the sealer a toothy grin, and plopped his pudgy be-dimpled paw down on our clasped hands without prompting, where it remained perfectly still until the ceremony linking us as an eternal family was complete. I could’ve grown another 30 or 40 hearts just to contain the mushy mom-love filling me with happy sappy adoration.
Our big day held plenty of funny little surprises–odd quantities of paperwork, an unexpectedly lengthy separation from our baby, a sealer who could easily earn a living impersonating Martin Scorcese but for the foul language, the quiet heroics of my best friend, who informed said sealer that he most certainly would wait for my mother to change into white so that she, and not some anonymous temple worker, could hold her only grandbaby at the altar. The largest surprise for me, however, involved realizing that the day concerned a family broader than my husband and our little boy. The day I married DH in this same temple over a decade ago entailed little fuss. Until we were sealed to Muffin, I had no idea what fawning brides usually receive. This January, the angelic temple workers couldn’t shower me with enough affection or excitement. Maybe the absence of pre-wedding jitters simply made me more capable of noticing exactly how happy these people were at the prospect of another family joining hands over God’s alter and promising to keep those hands linked in their earthly journey back to heaven. They honestly felt our joy, and that shared rejoicing foregrounded a sense of familial scope broader than any bureaucratic nonsense. As friends, family, and unknown temple workers hugged, kissed, and congratulated us, the facing mirrors of eternity reflected their figures a hundred times back into the usually-veiled past and forward into an unknown future. For those brief moments, I honestly felt linked not just to my darling, miraculous little boy, but to everyone in that room. The sunshine amplifying the mirror’s reflection also shone 50-odd miles away, on our birthmother and her family. While they could not be with us in the temple, their sacrifice and kindness made the temple ceremony possible. I don’t understand the mathematics of eternity. I don’t know how, in the end that is really a beginning, every member of the human family becomes exactly that–family. I just believe it is true.
Our temple moment with Muffin gave me a tiny glimpse. He is ours, forever. But not just ours. He is also God’s, a soul unto himself and to his Eternal Parents, loved by the woman who gave him life and the mom and dad who continue to sustain that life with every ounce of happiness and exhaustion they can muster. He must know how loved he is–just look at that beatific smile he’s wearing! In a way, the temple ceremony simply seemed to confirm what we already deeply felt: this is our child, meant to be. On a broader level it reminded me that love involves risk, trusting strangers and a strange universe, believing that the many, many things in the gospel and her church which I do not understand or always even like will, like the silly paperwork, eventually be dwarfed by the bonds of love. There’s more to the church that I don’t understand than I do, but as much as I believe in seeking answers and striving to make our church world kinder and better, none of the mystery or frustration matters a scintilla compared to transcendent experiences like those which have brought and bound us to our son. He is ours, and all of us are God’s.
Kind friends all gathered ’round,
there’s something I would say–
that what brings us together here
has blessed us all today.
Love has made a circle that holds us all inside,
where strangers are as family,
and loneliness can’t hide.
You must give yourself to love,
if love is what you’re after.
Open up your heart to tears and laughter
and give yourself to love, give yourself to love.
I’ve walked these mountains in the rain,
I’ve learned to love the wind.
I’ve been up before the sunrise
to watch the day begin.
I always [hoped] I’d find you,
though I never did know how:
like sunshine on a cloudy day
you stand before me now.
Love is born in fire,
it’s planted like a seed.
Love can’t give you everything,
but it gives you what you need.
Love comes when you’re ready,
love comes when you’re afraid.
It will be your greatest teacher,
and the best friend you have made.
So give yourself to love,
if love is what you’re after.
Open up your heart to
tears and laughter
and give yourself to love,
give yourself to love.
–Kate Wolf, one of my favorite folk singers
This is beautiful. He is hands down one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. Congratulations to all of you.
Comment by Stephanie — March 28, 2008 @ 4:41 pm
Horray, Janet!
Congrationations and Mazel tov to you and your family. Muffin couldn’t be in a better place.
Comment by Kaimi — March 28, 2008 @ 4:52 pm
I agree. I got a bit of the fawning, though not prepared for it, when Himself and I were sealed, nearly two years after being married. From that day forward, there was a marked difference in our little family. A sense of peace, of calm, of love. Didn’t make marriage easier or less complicated. It made it feel, to me, more permanent, more of a beginning.
Thank you Janet, for sharing your story. It’s beautiful!
Comment by Sara — March 28, 2008 @ 4:54 pm
I don’t remember my sealing, as my parents did it promptly at six months, but they took longer with my little brother. So I was eight when he was sealed to us and I remember what a wonderful experience it was. While I’m certainly glad to have my baby born in the covenant, a part of me is a little sad he’s probably not going to be able to experience it also. It’s wonderful, in a different way that being sealed to your spouse, or at least it seemed so to me.
Congratulations on your eternal family, Janet.
Comment by firebyrd — March 28, 2008 @ 6:29 pm
I love the way your husband is looking at you in this picture. I love everything about the picture! The joy and love you are all feeling just permeates everything around you. And Muffin is one beautiful baby. Seriously, you should be on the cover some church pamplet about families being forever. Congratulations!
Comment by brittany — March 28, 2008 @ 6:41 pm
I have witnessed several child sealings and it never fails to impress me spiritually. What I’ve always loved is how it seems like the sealer is talking to the child’s full grown spirit, expecting it to understand all the sacred happenings going on. It reminds me that, though our bodies may be young, our spirits are ageless.
Thank you for sharing this heavenly moment with us. Just goes to show that happy “endings” do happen in real life.
Comment by Liz — March 28, 2008 @ 6:57 pm
Awwww . . . thanks for posting this.
Comment by Julie M. Smith — March 28, 2008 @ 7:09 pm
Happy Day!! Congratulations. Muffin is such a darling boy. Lucky boy and equally lucky parents. Thanks for sharing. We look forward to the day Hong Mei is sealed to our Forever Family
Comment by JA Benson — March 28, 2008 @ 7:35 pm
How beautiful! Thank you. Congratulations!
Comment by Jami — March 28, 2008 @ 8:04 pm
Such a wonderful moment, so beautifully shared! Congratulations to you and your family!
Comment by Proud Daughter of Eve — March 28, 2008 @ 8:46 pm
What a beautiful picture, Janet! Congratulations to you and to your family.
Comment by Eve — March 28, 2008 @ 9:20 pm
Nice baby!
Comment by gst — March 28, 2008 @ 9:32 pm
Thanks everyone! I rather wish my spectacles didn’t have an automatic “sunglasses” function–you can’t see my eyes in any of the photos! this is the only one where the exuberant Muffin decided to look at the camera, and since the parents in such photos are ancillary, this one wins my “fave photo” contest despite misgivings about my two black eyes and semi-goofy expression. Besides, what wifey doesn’t love a photo of DH looking adoringly at her
.
It was, indeedy, a good day.
Comment by Janet — March 28, 2008 @ 9:35 pm
That picture is just so precious. Your baby is absolutely beautiful!
Comment by EKD — March 28, 2008 @ 9:45 pm
He put his hand on yours with no prompting? That is precious. What a beautiful family! Thank you for sharing the joy!
Comment by wistfulblue — March 28, 2008 @ 9:57 pm
Oh Janet, thanks for telling us about this day. So happy for you! And love the picture, beautiful you, beautiful muffin, and the way your husband is looking at you makes the novels fall off the shelf.
Comment by Johnna Cornett — March 28, 2008 @ 11:46 pm
Janet - gorgeous picture! Thanks for sharing this special event with us. I’m so happy for you all.
Comment by Rebecca — March 29, 2008 @ 3:01 am
What a wonderful picture, and thank you so much for sharing that experience.
Comment by Jennifer in GA — March 29, 2008 @ 6:55 am
Wow. What a gorgeous photo. Gorgeous baby. Gorgeous dad. Gorgeous mom. Gorgeous day!
Comment by meems — March 29, 2008 @ 8:07 am
Congratulations to all of you!
And he is a fabulously handsome child.
Comment by madhousewife — March 29, 2008 @ 10:38 am
Congratulations! Your best friend told me about what she had to do to arrange things. You’re blessed to have a friend like that. And Muffin really is a cutie. Even if he were crying, the look on your husband’s face would have made the picture a keeper.
Comment by Amira — March 29, 2008 @ 11:25 am
Great photo, Janet! What a wonderful family you have.
Comment by ECS — March 29, 2008 @ 11:38 am
words cannot express enough the joy i felt lt as i saw this photo i don’t know you, never met, but we are linked..thank you for sharing that wonderful expereicne with me over the pond!!
debrauk
Comment by debrauk — March 29, 2008 @ 12:32 pm
Hi, Janet, good to see your happy picture and to connect you with your name that I’ve run across several times. I used to live in Port Angeles when you were a teenager. Deon and I now live in Warrenton, OR, near Astoria. I enjoy your articles.
Bonnie
Comment by Bonnie Harris — March 29, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
Congratulations and thank you for sharing!
We are hoping to have this moment - but with an almost-2 and almost-4-year-old instead of with infants as we’ve done before - later this year.
Should be interesting!
I think our temple sealings with our kids have been the moments marking the ebbing of the pain of infertility and the uncertainty of adoption. There’s a little bit of compensation for all of it when you get to have your kids with you in the temple, something that makes me feel like what I’m doing taking in all these cute little stray humans is part of God’s plan and not just vanity and randomness. I need to get there again!
Comment by Ana — March 29, 2008 @ 2:33 pm
Lovely!
Comment by Deborah — March 29, 2008 @ 3:03 pm
Congratulations!
Comment by Edje — March 29, 2008 @ 3:10 pm
I remember so well when my best friend, Buff, and her husband had their children sealed to them. The youngest (at the time–there would be two others before my friend would die) said, “Goodbye angels!” as she left the sealing room.
I returned to that sealing room when Buff’s oldest daughter was married–some twelve years after the death. (Actually, Janet, you were my student when Buff died, and I remember you writing me a very sweet note after I tried to conduct class amidst my emotional chaos.) After the ceremony, the sealer said, “I think we need to acknowledge others in this room as well–and one in particular who has a special interest in what has happened here.” That was the only moment when the bride teared up.
The temple is a glorious place. Thank you for sharing this with us, Janet.
Comment by Margaret Young — March 29, 2008 @ 4:31 pm
I had to call my DH over to look at the picture and share your story with him. It was so beautiful, and you are such a beautiful family. Congratulations just seems so inadequate for something so momentous and wonderful, so happy felicitations!
Comment by Sariah — March 29, 2008 @ 5:08 pm
WOOOOOHOOOOO!
Congrats! Our day was significantly different, involving delayed flights, overscheduling by our loved ones, a last-minute confession that important family members weren’t holding valid recommends for vague reasons (they could have told us and we would have gone to our local temple instead of flying cross-country) and our 7-month old son screaming through the whole ceremony because by the time we finally got to the temple it was 10pm to his little body.
During the most horrible times of my son’s illness I clung to my memories of that day, strange as it was. At the very least I was comforted in knowing that, if his mortal days were going to be cut short, we had eternity together.
Oh, and Princess Diana died while we were in the temple.
That’s the beauty of the whole sealing concept. There is not one drop of shared blood between us, but through the Priesthood of God we are a eternal family. As are the three of you.
WOOOOHOOOO!
Comment by Chad too — March 29, 2008 @ 5:10 pm
A beautiful day for a beautiful family. Many congratulations!
Comment by Chelsea — March 29, 2008 @ 5:47 pm
Janet,
Thank you for sharing this. It was beautiful.
Comment by m&m — March 29, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
Awesome. Just awesome. And he is exceedingly handsome–when can we set him up with Cindy Lou?
Comment by janeannechovy — March 29, 2008 @ 6:15 pm
Congratulations! What a wonderful day and what a CUTE picture! He looks as happy as a clam. Thank you for sharing your experience. It made me feel all warm and motherly.
Comment by mindy — March 29, 2008 @ 7:17 pm
I forwarded that to my mom, Janet. She loved it. She is so happy for all of you (like all of us). But she was wondering if Muffin had a real name. Isn’t that funny? She does not approve of nicknames. I swear I told her his name eons ago. Oh, well…
Beautiful picture–I love it!!!
Comment by ErinG — March 29, 2008 @ 11:20 pm
Darling picture. Thank you for sharing.
My older brother was sealed right after his adoption. My sister was BIC. I was sealed four years later after my adoption. Years later another brother (adopted at age 10) had the only sealing I remember.
To me, the great blessing was that that the sealing made me as much a real part of the family as my sister. We weren’t just the same in the eyes of the state, but in the eyes of God. What a blessing.
Bless your family!
Comment by Alison Moore Smith — March 30, 2008 @ 3:31 pm
That’s so wonderful. Wishing you all the happiness in the world.
Comment by me — March 30, 2008 @ 10:43 pm
I don’t know you except for what I’ve read here, and I feel blessed for having “known” you through this picture and post. What a beautiful picture! It speaks volumes of love, eternity and God’s infinite grace and power. I felt three lovely, distinct spirits speaking to me from that picture. Thank you. And congratulations!
Comment by prairie chuck — March 31, 2008 @ 10:25 am
Ana and JA Benson–let us know when you get to take your most recent kiddos to the temple! I think we need to have frequent “good news moment” and “prayers, please” announcements on FMH to update people regarding our cyberfriends’ lives.
janeannechovy–sure! They can flirt with each other at Sunstone if you guys are coming this year!
Bonnie Harris–small world, isn’t it? It’s so good to “hear” another voice from good old PA! Hugs to you and yours!
ErinG–what do your folks think of “Ralph”? For some reason that nickname for your eldest never fails to make me and DH giggle. He’s so un-Ralphie like. We watch The Simpsons and laugh ourselves silly, since two kids couldn’t be more different.
Everyone–Thanks for sharing our happiness. FMH has become an extended family of sorts, and I couldn’t imagine *not* sharing this update with y’all!
Comment by Janet — March 31, 2008 @ 10:48 am
Your baby is breathtaking, and I almost teared up reading your post. Many thousand congratulations on your happy occasion.
Comment by Katie P. — March 31, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
Janet,
Wow! I am very, very happy for you. You’ve described the experience so beautifully and honestly that I feel like I was there with you. And I really needed an experience like this. The doctrines of the restoration–including many that truly are distinctive–are powerful and glorious. But I’ve needed a reminder, a soul-deep reminder, of one of those doctrines–the potential eternity and joyfulness of family bonds. The temple, especially the sealing ceremony itself, can give that kind of reminder, and can heighten our sense of belonging to a larger world than that of mortals. Thank you, thank you. And may you be as eternally happy as you all appear to be in the photo.
Comment by Bruce Young — March 31, 2008 @ 3:59 pm
folks,
her baby had that same smile throughout the whole sealing. it was amazing.
and janet, i want a photo for my home too. this way when i’m feeling sad or frustrated, i can look at it and be reminded of how good it can be.
love you!
Comment by mfranti — March 31, 2008 @ 4:07 pm
Bruce– you’re very welcome
. You and Maggie were *supposed* to get an invite, as it happens, but I’m such an idiot that all the invitations that went to Provo got incorrect postage. Numerical matters never were my strong suite, and the durned Post Office keeps upping prices on me. Many hugs to you.
Comment by Janet — March 31, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
Can Little Sister marry Muffin? They would undoubtedly have the most gorgeous children on the planet.
You guys rock. Thanks for the story. Got to go get me some tissues now…
Comment by Heather O. — April 1, 2008 @ 8:37 pm
A long time ago in another life I placed a little baby boy for adoption with a family who I presume took him to the temple at their first opportunity. I had no idea what I was doing, yet somehow I knew that the innocent one deserved better than I had prepared.
This whole post gave me a warmness that I can’t really come up with the words for. It’s good to see this.
Comment by anonamom — April 2, 2008 @ 12:14 am
[…] shares her story of being sealed to her son — and makes an exciting […]
Pingback by Virtual Oases, April 1 « The Exponent — April 2, 2008 @ 8:17 am
Oh, you had me crying. Thank you for this wonderful post. I loved it.
Comment by Emily M. — April 7, 2008 @ 7:03 am
I just saw this and it reminded me of when my family got sealed (my mother is a convert, and the sealing didn’t end up happening until I was 22) and recall hearing about how my little sister (5, red hair) was just… well, the best description I could give would be that the temple workers were spoiling her like there was no tomorrow!
Sounds like Muffin got the same type of reaction.
Congratulations to the 3 of you!
Comment by Curtis — April 7, 2008 @ 1:11 pm
I love Adoption! As an adoption caseworker the best moments in my job are when I’m privileged enough to be invited to the temple on sealing days. Words cannot describe the incredible joy.
Comment by Risa — December 2, 2009 @ 5:38 pm