A Mormon (Feminist!) Image: Empowerment
When I look at this photo, I think empowerment. Feminism is about empowering women - we are stronger than each generation. Mormon women and others do that while raising a family, adhering to many values that sometimes conflict. Finding that inner power and taking the reigns is what Mormon Feminism is all about to me.
Submitted by Natalie (photo by Ashlynn Marie Photography )
This photograph is part of our ongoing series highlighting images from our readers lives. Comments to the post are encouraged. In addition we invite you to submit your own images to the Mormon Image series. Rules and instructions, including submissions guidelines, can be found here.
Why does it make you think of empowerment?
Comment by Kim Siever — November 6, 2009 @ 1:00 pm
i can sense the quiet, joyful confidence that oozes from her.
Comment by debrauk — November 6, 2009 @ 1:06 pm
I think the picture radiates confidence.
Comment by Stephanie — November 6, 2009 @ 1:06 pm
And confidence is empowering.
Comment by Stephanie — November 6, 2009 @ 1:07 pm
Kim, I can understand why you would ask that question and I’ll attempt to answer it.
Look at the expression on her face. She’s feeling confident and beautiful (and not just in the physical sense). I can see in her eyes that she feels like she can take on the world.
I don’t know this to be her case but If I had a picture like this, with that expression and body language, I too would feel so empowered because most days, I don’t feel beautiful/strong/confident and this image would remind me that I am all of those things even when I don’t allow myself to believe it.
It’s complicated.
Comment by mfranti — November 6, 2009 @ 1:09 pm
When I look at that picture, I think of Jerry Seinfeld’s pirate shirt.
Comment by Scott B. — November 6, 2009 @ 1:47 pm
My neck hurts.
Comment by gst — November 6, 2009 @ 1:51 pm
I find it insulting. Why does that man have to walk behind her and pretend he’s okay with keeping her little dog on the leash and wearing that sweater she makes him wear? It’s like when I see an emasculated guy at the mall carrying his girlfriend’s little accessory dog - my heart goes out to him.
When I look at her face and the way she carries herself, I see arrogance. She knows that she is degrading that poor guy and she’s enjoying it. Why does female “empowerment” have to come at the male’s expense?
Comment by Matsby — November 6, 2009 @ 2:05 pm
Matsby: Interesting that you assume the man walking a dog behind this woman is with her. I on the other hand just saw a strong woman walking and in the background a man walking his dog. While I do agree that women should never be empowered at a man’s expense, I just don’t see that in this picture.
Natalie: thank-you for posting this picture and reminding me that confidence and strenth are beautiful and empowering.
Comment by Susan — November 6, 2009 @ 2:19 pm
Matsby,
Probably because male “empowerment” usually derives from dominance over the female. Thus when women start to reflex their own muscles, so to speak, men feel it comes at their expense. But maybe this is what is best for the yin/yang relationship. Maybe, to this point there is an imbalance in favor of the man, and thus when you bring back a balance between the two, the man certainly loses something, but it is something he never should have had in the first place.
Comment by Dan — November 6, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
Matsby, you are surely correct. She has that smug look because she makes her boyfriend sit down when he pees. It’s degrading.
Comment by gst — November 6, 2009 @ 2:21 pm
Matsby, Isn’t it possible that the man behind her just happened to be standing/walking behind her as the shot was taken?
even if it is her hunny, it’s very possible that the dog belongs to him and she’s hates the little runt. There’s a thousand scenarios we could come up with, most of them positive.
I know you really want to get your knickers in a twist over this one but I’m not going to let it happen.
Comment by mfranti — November 6, 2009 @ 2:23 pm
I thought Matsby’s comment was a joke. I laughed for several minutes over it. I thought the giveaway was “and wearing that sweater she makes him wear”. I can’t help it. I’m laughing again.
Comment by Stephanie — November 6, 2009 @ 2:25 pm
Holy cow — dog-walking-guy looks justlike a student in my current class.
Comment by Kaimi — November 6, 2009 @ 2:26 pm
By the way, these photos are meant to be a pleasant experience.
I ask that you not poke fun of our guests.
Thanks.
Comment by mfranti — November 6, 2009 @ 2:26 pm
Thanks mfranti. Unpleasant and humorless pretty much sums up the whole FMH experience!
Comment by gst — November 6, 2009 @ 2:28 pm
Sorry, mfranti. I wasn’t poking fun at the picture - just Matsby’s interpretation.
Comment by Stephanie — November 6, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
What’s her secret?
Comment by Steve Evans — November 6, 2009 @ 2:32 pm
Whew, guess I should comment more about my picture.
Sweater guy is my husband, who picked out his outfit and dresses quite well, and he loves our puppy like a child. I don’t think it is demasculating that he happened to be walking it for that moment. We have equality in our relationship.
This photo isn’t going on our Christmas/Holiday card or anything, but when I saw it, and knew that FMH was taking submissions, I thought it fit.
I am a woman with all sorts of things going on — husband, puppy, school, work, church, life — and this photo made me feel strong despite the craziness.
Comment by Natalie — November 6, 2009 @ 2:35 pm
thanks for the assessment, gst. now watch as i unpleasantly and humorlessly ban you from this thread.
Comment by mfranti — November 6, 2009 @ 2:36 pm
Natalie, I love the picture (and don’t feel that you have to explain it). Like Susan, I just saw a strong woman with a man in the background. The fact that he is your husband is nice, but I don’t think it detracts from/adds to the message of empowerment.
He who is willing to cast the first joke, submit your own picture. (but what of those who laugh at it? I am guilty as charged)
Comment by Stephanie — November 6, 2009 @ 2:40 pm
Good on you, Natalie. It’s a great picture. (I still think your husband looks eerily like a law student in my current class– but that’s okay, he’s one of the students who does the reading and makes good comments.)
Comment by Kaimi — November 6, 2009 @ 2:41 pm
It’s really unfortunate that the peanut gallery is making snide comments and forcing poor Mel to play policewoman.
Have a little class, guys. This is a real person (who is reading the thread — come on!), who hasn’t done anything to any of you, and who definitely doesn’t deserve to be the target of your mockery or mean-spiritedness.
If you don’t like the photo, fine, move on. In the mean time, please help yourself to a nice healthy dose of shut-the-hell-up.
Comment by Kaimi — November 6, 2009 @ 2:45 pm
Stephanie, I like you! Thanks
Kaimi - well husband is a law student. At TJSL in San Diego. Wouldn’t that be a crazy coincidence
Comment by Natalie — November 6, 2009 @ 2:46 pm
Mfranti, you should know that referring to a man’s anatomy in such disrespectful terminology does equal “empowerment”. True empowerment should come as a result of you showing respect to yourself and others - and from using language that is becoming of who you are and what you believe.
Comment by Matsby — November 6, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
Matsby, I edited that comment before I saw your latest.
I agree that I should have edited it out earlier. Oops! I failed. As I often do.
Comment by mfranti — November 6, 2009 @ 2:51 pm
Matt writes: “True empowerment should come as a result of showing respect to yourself and others”
Doctor, heal thyself.
Comment by Kaimi — November 6, 2009 @ 2:53 pm
Natalie,
I think he *is* my student, then. If it is him, that’s very cool. I’ll have to say something to him after class.
Comment by Kaimi — November 6, 2009 @ 2:57 pm
mfranti - I liked your original #20 better - he deserved it!
Comment by momofboys — November 6, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
It never occurred to me when looking at this photo that the man was in any way associated with the woman. I assumed he was just someone in the background. Nor would it occur to me that either his sweater or his dog was in any way emasculating. Just not sure where those conclusions are coming from at all.
Comment by Lorian — November 6, 2009 @ 3:02 pm
I like it. And don’t in any way at all see as “female empowerment coming at the male’s expense.” In fact, I see the opposite. I see a strong, confident, beautiful woman who could stand on her own but who also stands tall and beautiful with a good man behind her.
Comment by Jenny — November 6, 2009 @ 3:12 pm
Personally, since I read Matsby’s blog I think he is being sarcastic. His blog is hilarious… do, go look
Comment by Aprillium — November 6, 2009 @ 4:14 pm
I like the picture, but I think that its presentation is influenced too much by current fads in the photography industry and not enough by the statement that you or the photographer wanted to make. (i.e. the angle and the vignette). I don’t mean to be harsh on your photographer, just that I fear the presentation was just a matter of doing what is popular right now and not a matter of getting the message you’d like the picture to have across.
After I read that it was your husband in the photo, I liked it even more. I think that is shows that your husband is willing to let you walk ahead while he takes care of some of the less pleasant things in life (i.e. walking the dog). I dunno, I’m going to have to think about it some more. Thanks for sharing!
Comment by anon — November 6, 2009 @ 4:33 pm
I did not feel degraded when I walked behind my wife. The photo shoot was for both of us together and individually. frankly, i was talking to another guy to my left when this photo was taken.
however, what bothers me is matsby’s assumption that as a man i cannot dress myself, and that it is unmanly to walk a small dog. that shows real ignorance about modern society.
the question i have is, what if the picture was reversed. what if i was in front of her but she was giving the same pose and face? would it make you all angry that i was in the front? we need to be careful in life not to take things to the extreme. On either side.
Comment by Adam — November 6, 2009 @ 4:41 pm
Adam,
Matt’s comment was a joke.
Comment by Scott B. — November 6, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
Is Matsby perhaps Prudence McPrude’s long lost brother? I miss Prudence.
Comment by fMhLisa — November 6, 2009 @ 4:53 pm
Sad thing is, we get enough real Matsbys (and Prudences) around here, it’s sometimes difficult to spot the fake ones. (and his blog is funny, I can’t believe I never saw it before)
Comment by fMhLisa — November 6, 2009 @ 4:57 pm
Matsby is, despite the confusion here, one of the bloggernacle’s greatest treasures.
Comment by Scott B. — November 6, 2009 @ 5:00 pm
So, if we have a picture that we didn’t take but that say, our wedding photographer took, can we post it? Do we need to ask the photographer’s permission?
Comment by xenologue — November 6, 2009 @ 5:13 pm
Yep, Matsby is a genuinely funny guy on his blog (Hall & Oaks was hilarious); Scott and gst too.
Comments got a little out of hand, but these are all nacle regulars and basically good people, and I’m glad to see normalcy and good feelings reasserting themselves.
Comment by Kaimi — November 6, 2009 @ 5:22 pm
Xeno,
I can’t give legal advice (especially in a forum like a blog). I can say that, in general, a photographer retains a copyright in pictures she takes. However, it’s not uncommon for that right to be given or licensed to the client (especially for something like wedding pics; that’s often true for other family pictures as well). You would want to check and see what the case is with your particular pictures.
In general, one of the photo series rules is that you cannot submit pictures without either owning the copyright or having permission from the copyright owner.
Comment by Kaimi — November 6, 2009 @ 5:27 pm
33 - yes, it is a little trendy photography wise. I agree. (though what would life be like without the trendy photos of the 80s with the entire family in denim!) But I also know nothing about photography.
I asked permission to post the photo online - on facebook, my blog, etc. She said yes.
Comment by Natalie — November 6, 2009 @ 5:35 pm
I am loving the comments though — from all sides. It is definitley fun!!
Thanks FMH girls for converting the idea over. Look forward to what’s next.
Comment by Natalie — November 6, 2009 @ 5:36 pm
Hi guys. Just returned from a week in Aruba. I don’t really see this as empowering; I see it more as cute. In the words of the supreme court, “I can’t define [empowerment photos] but I know them when I see them.”
Comment by StillConfused — November 6, 2009 @ 7:22 pm
Natalie, I just figured out where that photo was taken, now that you mention San Diego! The bridge through Balboa Park, right? Very nice.
Comment by Lorian — November 6, 2009 @ 7:32 pm
What a dark day. GST, given a wide range of targets to choose from (the labial ruffles alone seemed to offer endless snark opportunity) went with “feminists are unpleasant and unfunny.”
it’s like someone just told me there is no Flying Spaghetti Monster. We look to you for subtle wit and gentle mockery, GST. Broadswipes and clunkers worthy of Jettboy are beneath you. Now, climb back on your adjusted pedestal and give us something worthy.
FTR, I liked the picture fine, thought Matsby was funny and look forward to more pictures.
Comment by crazywomancreek — November 6, 2009 @ 7:39 pm
Feminism shows its true face. Women feeling like they have something to prove. This picture is intended to show the superiority of the woman. There is no other meaning to it.
I was reading an article on women changing their names upon getting married. This woman said she she would never change her name to her husbands because that is treating women like property. But if my husband changes his name to mine, that’s okay. Feminists don’t want equality, they want it all. This picture is a perfect demonstration.
Comment by henry — November 6, 2009 @ 10:01 pm
Yeah, how dare she actually look confidently into the camera like that. Doesn’t she know she should always cast her gaze downward?!?!
Comment by Stephanie — November 6, 2009 @ 10:05 pm
You’re bang on the money there, henry.
I’m a feminist and I want you to be my bitch. How ’bout wee man, are you up to it?
Comment by barmy stoat — November 6, 2009 @ 10:08 pm
#47 henry ~ Feminists don’t want equality, they want it all.
Damn right I want it all. The priesthood, three cute kids, a graduate degree, a super-model’s physique, and maybe an extra husband or two, all of whom follow the pattern for the perfect man in dress and behavior as outlined in this book.
Is that really so much to ask? I think not.
Comment by Bridget Jack Meyers — November 6, 2009 @ 10:19 pm
Oh, and I want a surgery that can get rid of stretch marks. NOT reduce them. Get rid of them.
Add that to my list.
Comment by Bridget Jack Meyers — November 6, 2009 @ 10:20 pm
Oh henry, don’t be such a sourpuss.
I have a son who’s much like Matsby. (More evidence of what a craptastic feminist I am.) Still, I try to raise his consciousness when the opportunity presents. Usually I find it better to laugh at his youthful witticisms (it’s not hard) and move right along in good humor. I think if I tried to deconstruct them, or otherwise “correct” him, he might eventually come to resemble gst.
I must say I am an occasional lurker at Matt’s blogs, and I admire his Adobe skillz immensely.
Comment by Mommie Dearest — November 6, 2009 @ 10:52 pm
That is all fine and good, if you look at this from a big picture point-of-view. But a lot of men suffer from the domineering, brutish, and controlling nature of other men, too. So, on an individual level, there are real men out there who don’t need to be kicked back a notch to make way for a woman. And to think that they do simply because they are male is wrong (not that you are saying that.) Thinking about issues like this, in such generalities, is a real problem today. Just because I am male and white doesn’t mean anything. You can’t be too confident in guessing what my experience has been like based upon what I look like.
Too my original point, though. I have had a hard time growing up as a man amongst men. Their ways startle me at times. My wife has been training to become a firefighter recently. I have been years removed from the constant company of men, and to hear the stories she comes home with about how these men are treating her at times…..it hurts. Partly because she is my wife, but also because for each story she tells, I can feel some of the pain I felt in high school, and amongst my Young Men peers growing up.
There are men, too, who need empowerment, who have had a lifetime of being put down and looked down upon by other men.
There is an old poem I read a long time ago, I can’t remember all of it, or even the title or author, but it starts, “Some men are too gentle to live amongst wolves.”
Comment by sam — November 6, 2009 @ 11:26 pm
“Keep your words short & sweet,
you never know from day to day,
which ones you will have to eat!”
So, she looks happy & confident. What’s the crime with that? And, maybe the guy likes the dog & sweater.
I t took me a moment to get the “labial ruffles” comment.
Jack: Stretch marks can be solved by going with a surrogate
Comment by Mike H. — November 7, 2009 @ 1:15 am
Oh my, the ruffles! Never shall I wear that shirt again and think of it the same way.
My husband does like my confidence…thinks its sexy… and that’s all I shall say…
You know, after reading what people say vs. empowerment and emasculation — I wonder about the traditions of feminism vs. the stereotypes we portray. Even I am guilty of falling into them. Men with little dogs aren’t always what they seem, but neither is the career women or the mom with 10 kids. Stereotypes come to mind for all. Not necessarily positive. But the overall women’s movement has empowered women — to vote from the very beginning and now to have equal pay, treatment, etc.
I am definitely a person who wants it all — perfect job, perfect house, perfect kids… though right now I have a stressful job, falling apart apartment and a puppy. So we’ll see.
Comment by Natalie — November 7, 2009 @ 2:16 am
sam, there is a great parenting book called “Raising Cain” that looks at that phenomenon closely, he calls it the culture of cruelty. I think it worth noting that true feminism addresses this problem as well, because so much of that cruelty is based in contempt for anything that might be perceived as feminine, on proving one is a true Man.
I wrote a post sorta kinda about this a while back.
Comment by fMhLisa — November 7, 2009 @ 2:29 am
Did that shirt give birth that you know of? That tends to expand those “ruffles” really good, from what I’ve seen in person.
Maybe it had a episitomy, too, look for a scar at the lower end.
My, I don’t want to get kicked off here, either… …forgive me…
On the more serious side, if you & husband switched positions in this photo, but everything else was the same, it would be more of a “I have a secret!” type of photo, IMHO. No, I don’t know what the secret would be, either.
Comment by Mike H. — November 7, 2009 @ 4:19 am
This thread is hilarious.
Love Matsby and Natalie you are one beautiful woman.
Comment by Lawyer Lady — November 7, 2009 @ 1:31 pm
When I look at this picture, I see a flirtatious woman. I guess one needs to feel empowered and confident to flirt.
Comment by Kim Siever — November 7, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
Somehow looking like a fashion shoot for ‘Elle’ to me.I prefer to see a woman at work,whatever that work may be.I think it may be something to do with looking at the camera at all.I don’t want to be conscious of the gaze of others…although,of course I am.But then,if I looked like that I guess I’d be very happy to be looked at.
Comment by wayfarer — November 7, 2009 @ 6:34 pm
If you absolutely feel the need to insult someone, here you go, have at it.
but please, do not insult our guest posters. It’s rude, mean and beneath anyone that considers themselves and adult.
Thank you,
Comment by mfranti — November 8, 2009 @ 12:39 am