Mind The Gap: November VT Message
This month’s visiting teaching message may be based on any of the October General Conference talks. I chose President Barbara Thompson’s talk, “Mind the Gap”.I like this talk, even though I wasn’t entirely sure I grasped the main point of her message. Her talk has a variety of themes, but the one that resonated with me most was her discussion of what we should do when reality falls short of our expectations, i.e., minding the gap between what we want to happen and what actually does happen.Lisa’s post today about the Joseph Smith lessons is a good example of the lessons and talks we hear at Church that depict our lives as being a series of struggles, but if we persevere and go to Church, read the scriptures, have family prayer, pay our tithing, etc., everything will work itself out into a happy ending.Unfortunately, this happy ending doesn’t materialize nearly often enough - even when we faithfully pay our tithing, serve others, and hold regular Family Home Evenings.For every story about a poverty-stricken family paying their last ten dollars to the Bishop as tithing, and then receiving a hundred dollar check in the mail (I heard this story for the 345th time last week in Sacrament Meeting), there are thousands of stories of poverty-stricken families who pay their tithing with their last ten dollars, no check shows up in the mail, their electricity gets turned off, and soon after that the father loses his job.Instead of focusing on the reality, however, we’d rather hear stories about the windows of heaven opening and blessings raining down upon the righteous.Mormons are just like everyone else in that everyone loves a Hollywood ending, but it’s dangerous to assume that we can control God and fate by payingtithing/readingscriptures/havingfamilyhomeevening/etc. Here’s what President Thompson had to say about minding the gap between her expectations and reality:
When I left high school, my goals were to attend college for at least a couple of years, get married to a handsome man, and have four perfect, beautiful children (two boys and two girls). My husband was to have a large income so I wouldn’t need to work, and then I planned to do Church and community service. Thankfully, one of my goals was to be an active and faithful member of the Church. Well, as you may know, many of my goals were not realized in the way I had hoped. I finished college, served a mission, got a job, continued on with my schooling to earn a master’s degree, and continued working in my profession for many years. (I thought marriage was sure to happen 13 years ago when I opened a fortune cookie and read, “You will be married in less than a year.”) But there was no handsome man, no marriage, and no children. Nothing had gone as I had planned except for one thing. I tried to be an active and faithful member of the Church. For this I am most grateful. It has made all the difference in my life.
As I shared this message with my visiting teaching sisters, it prompted a helpful, sincere discussion about how the Atonement can help us to keep going, to keep moving, even though we aren’t assured of life turning out any better than it is at the moment. In fact, it could get a lot worse. By acknowledging that life often doesn’t turn out the way we’d hoped, however, we find a deeper meaning in our struggles and trials and learn to rely more on our own talents and abilities instead of bargaining with God so that He will do as we ask.Which Conference talk did you choose for your visiting teaching message this month? Feel free to share your visiting teaching experiences in the comments.
I don’t get to visit teach, but interestingly enough, I used this talk as a home teaching message last month. (Yes, I’m a cheater for not using the authorized First Presidency message.) I liked it for exactly the reasons you expressed, ECS, although you articulated them more thoroughly and clearly.
Comment by Ziff — November 24, 2009 @ 3:13 pm
I really like this post.
Comment by Stephanie — November 24, 2009 @ 4:31 pm
Thanks, Ziff and Stephanie.
Comment by ECS — November 24, 2009 @ 4:35 pm
Great post!
I really liked Sister Thompson’s talk, too. She seems so much more real to me then a lot of the other women that speak in conference, probably just personal preference, and I find that I really enjoy the things she says.
It’s an interesting dynamic we have in the church - that of blessings being predicated on obedience vs. bad things happen to good people. Does that mean you don’t have enough faith or you’ve sinned if bad things happen? Can you “righteous” your way out of a problem? I think sometimes you can (I’m guilty myself of having one of those tithing moments, and it sure helped build my faith for the time the check didn’t come a couple years later…). But most of the time I think the real question is if we understand the difference between:
and
I try to remind myself that my happy ending is something I don’t know, and when what happens isn’t what I expected or wanted to happen, that doesn’t mean my happy ending is in jeapordy. Just that I had the wrong idea (again) about what it would be.
There was a great talk a couple sessions ago (can’t remember who gave it) about the importance of taking the long view. That part of faith is realizing that faith and obedience bring blessings, but not always the blessings we’ve asked for. And that the real happy ending is eternal life.
It’s hard for me, I often get bogged down in life and forget the long view, but Sister Thompson’s talk reminded me of that…
Comment by Enna — November 24, 2009 @ 5:03 pm
Interesting, Ziff. My home teaching companion used Sister Allred’s Conference talk as the basis for his lesson this month.
Comment by Hunter — November 24, 2009 @ 5:06 pm
ECS, that was great. Thanks for making my day a little better.
Comment by Eris — November 24, 2009 @ 5:54 pm
I really loved this talk. It was so real, and there wasn’t a happy “I make a million dollars a year and have a perfect family, and husband all because I paid my tithing” story line. I liked it because it reminded me to mind my own gap. To stay as strong with the gospel of Christ as I know how, and to continue to read and pray and pay tithing even though things seem to suck!
I used Elder Holland’s talk about the BoM. I rely strongly on my heart and the feelings I get and I don’t want it to fail me in the moments I most need it. It was a great reminder of the power the BoM has and the power and knowledge we can gain from reading the words of Christ.
Now, though, after reading your post, I might just use this for next month as well. Depends on what next months message is! Thanks for sharing!
Comment by Sunshine — November 24, 2009 @ 10:21 pm
I too really love this talk. And if I can get my visiting teaching in before the end of the month I’m going to say everything you just said! (so much for the vow my comp and I made that we were going to get it done the first week this month)
Comment by fMhLisa — November 24, 2009 @ 10:27 pm
Lisa, the only way I get my VT done is to have a partner that will make the appointments every month. I used to have one… lost her, got a new companion that i totally wanted to get to know but never went because I despise making appointments, and then got changed again to a wonderful sister that doesn’t like giving the lessons every month. S-a-weet! That’s our trade… I pick the lesson she makes the call… and so… we were done by the second week. Cha-ching! All her though… if it was up to me I would sit here on the last day with a bad attitude and feel guilty for not going all in the same moment.
Good luck! I’m still working on my testimony of vt….
Comment by Sunshine — November 25, 2009 @ 12:08 am
Ok, I just went and read a general conference talk for the first time in over a year……Thank you for articulating this
Comment by fuzzy — November 25, 2009 @ 8:34 am
Great talk and commentary, especially considering th JS discussion.
I do think we have issues with misunderstanding all things will work out for good with happily ever after…all complicated by the fact that when things work out will most likely not be here and now.
Comment by britt — November 26, 2009 @ 9:46 am