nourish and strength
So, there’s this little thing about my husband that’s been driving me nuts since day one. I’ve never said anything because it just seems so petty, and perhaps even inappropriate for me to be annoyed by it. Only now he’s teaching my children this vile habit and I’m wondering if I need to just deal or if I can make a loving correction.
You see, since the day we first said a prayer over a meal together, it became clear that not only did this (otherwise lovely) man have the irritating archaic Mormon habit of asking the Lord to “Nourish and Strenghten” our bodies, but he somehow has the habit of doing so in wildly incorrect English. What he actually says is “Bless this food that it will give us the nourish and strength our bodies require.”
Argghhhhhh!
As intolerable and spine-melting as that is, it didn’t seem so hard to just let it go when it was just the two of us. But just lately my children are now saying this horrifying sentence at almost every meal. In the forlorn hope that my children might start mimicking me I have returned to “please bless this food that it might nourish and strengthen our bodies” rote, even though it burns my lips to utter it.
I just don’t know if I can take it any more. Am I jerk? What, like I never make grammatical mistakes? Is it ever possible or appropriate to critique a another persons sincere and heart felt prayers?
Yes, and you should… I was raised in a family where grammar mattered. I would be corrected all the time…(not that it shows in my writing)
That being said, my husband loves to call sandwiches–samwiches. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I can’t stand it and every time he says it I correct him. It’s wrong and mean, but I do it anyway because it bothers me so much!!!
Comment by Sunshine — March 12, 2010 @ 11:12 am
Maybe if you correct their grammar etc he might pick up on it? And if they say “dad says it that way” you simply state that the grammar is not correct.
That being said, I never say “Nourish and strengthen our bodies” because, HEY, what little kid knows what the words “nourish” and strengthen” mean? We say “make us strong and healthy” because I feel that is more on my kids level… they are (after all) 6,4, and 2.
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 11:23 am
maybe dumb down dad’s version with “Please bless this food that it will give us the health and strength we need” ?
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 11:24 am
I would say just keep being the example you want them to follow. I personally say things like “bless this meal to be really tasty and do our bodies good”, or ‘bless this yummy food to give us the strength we need to serve Thee”, or “bless us to learn to like foods we are not used to eating, like cauliflower, and be thankful for it, and we are grateful it is so good for our bodies”. I think a good thing to teach is to not always say the same thing, anyway.
My husband’s dad had some very predictable prayers,( so did mine, actually) and I think it made me want to shake things up a bit. I have heard my husband’s prayers become more thoughtful and specific and …creative…over the years. I may not always be as reverent in my prayers ( I do say thee and thou most of the time…) as I will interrupt and remind my husband to remember people who he has forgotten who are going through a really hard time.
You could just keep the sentiment, and specifically start emphasizing ‘nourishMENT’. If you are a traditional family in that you are home and your husband is at work, and you wind up saying 2 prayers a day with the kids by yourself…well…I expect they will follow your example in no time. ( my hub was hardly ever with us for breakfast or lunch). You could even make sure you pray over snacks. This shouldn’t take long!
It is a hard thing to approach your spouse on such a thing. I never wanted to embarrass or hurt his feelings, or make him feel I was listening with an ear tuned to be critical…
One approach is , to be saying your own prayer of gratitude for a husband who is happy to lead his family in prayer. We are in the minority in that.
Comment by Melissa P. — March 12, 2010 @ 11:25 am
There was an article several years ago by a general authority that talked about common mistakes that creep into our religious language. It was good and pointed out a few. It grates on my ears everytime I hear someone talk about a “patriartical” blessing or refer to the “melchezdek” priesthood.
Maybe somebody can find the article.
Comment by cyclingred — March 12, 2010 @ 11:29 am
Ha ha ha. Let it go and set your own example of what you want to teach your children to say.
Comment by Stephanie — March 12, 2010 @ 11:29 am
Oops. Am I supposed to be praying with my kids before breakfast and lunch? I guess that would presuppose that I get up and have breakfast with them. (Guess I really need today’s “Quickie” over at BCC).
Comment by meggle — March 12, 2010 @ 11:30 am
I say “that it will be healthy for us and yummy” lol. So, what Melissa said
Comment by pdig — March 12, 2010 @ 11:40 am
Just set your own example, correcting your children, and they will follow. My husband has horrific grammar that has gradually improved quite a bit during the 15+ years of our marriage. His mother and father also have/had atrocious grammar. I don’t often correct my husband, but I make conscious efforts to expand his vocabulary. I do correct our children, consistently. At ages 11 and 14, they have often pointed out “Dad says it like that.” I assert that I am not Dad’s mother and it’s my job to teach them to speak properly. I have the full support of my husband and he will speak up and tell them that they need to learn it now so they don’t look like idiots later. He even corrects them on the obvious “aint’s.”
Comment by JC — March 12, 2010 @ 11:45 am
It’s all fun and games until your kids use “nourish” incorrectly at school. I say correct him - or better yet, ask him about it. Maybe approach it inquisitively instead of inquisitionally–something like, “I know lots of people who say “that it may nourish and strengthen our bodies” but I’ve never heard “that it will give us the nourish and strength . . .” Did his parents say it that way? Or you could bring up other weird things people say when they pray (I’m thinking “moisture” instead of rain, for example) and then slide in the whole nourish and strengthen thing. Maybe you could both agree to say “make us healthy and strong” for your kids instead of any form of “nourish and strengthen” and then you wouldn’t have to deal with it directly at all.
I like to express thanks for the specific food we’re eating (broccoli, pizza, etc.) and find myself asking that it nourish and strengthen us to the fullest extent possible. I always felt a little funny asking pizza or donuts to do more nutritionally than they were capable of doing.
Comment by Nick — March 12, 2010 @ 11:54 am
Ha ha, Nick. I know what you mean. I always choke when I get to that part and say something like, “Please bless us that these cookies . . . um . . . don’t do us harm”.
Comment by Stephanie — March 12, 2010 @ 11:58 am
LOL @ Stephanie in 11
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 12:00 pm
sooooo true
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 12:01 pm
That is classic. I might try it out at dinner tonight and see if I can get any reactions.
My DH is articulate and educated but has a few consistent mispronunciations. I usually let them slide the first few times, but when I’m absolutely sure he’s said it that way multiple times–that I didn’t mis-hear or that it just came out wrong, I wait for the word to come up again in conversation and then say, with a smile and as though it’s the first time I’ve noticed it, “Wait, say that again?” and then say it correctly.
The way I see it, it’s like a booger hanging out of his nose or a poppy seed in his teeth–it would be much worse to just pretend it wasn’t there. And I’d want to know if it were me!
Comment by LB — March 12, 2010 @ 12:06 pm
LB..I thought your poppy seed said poopy.. .and I was waiting for dagger hanging out of our dogs bum… but then i read teeth and thought what the heck… oh, wait, poppy seed. Yes, those are obnoxious and I always appreciate when someone tells me something is in my teeth.
Comment by Sunshine — March 12, 2010 @ 12:19 pm
I feel your pain. My DH, when reading the scriptures aloud, says iniquity as if it were inequity (that’s a whole different word!) and stresses the second syllables of both Zion and temporal. GRATES ON MY NERVES. But I’ve never said anything because it would make me feel petty to bring it up after all this time. Bleh.
Comment by RCH — March 12, 2010 @ 12:19 pm
Maybe he says it just to mess with you.
Comment by Yet Another John — March 12, 2010 @ 12:23 pm
lol..
Seriously I am laughing out loud, and I am pregnant too so if I wet my pants Lisa, so help me…
I am a firm believer in correcting the grammar of the other parent if the children are picking it up. Ask the poor darling man who married me.
Perhaps you could also explain that only the nutritional food will be nourishing and strengthening to your bodies too, if the phrase bugs you. And that the Jell-O probably won’t do much regardless of the prayer said for it. I don’t know what it is that bothers you about the phrase, but that is the thing that go me when I heard it and then looked at a spread of fried, salted, over buttered stuff. Maybe try “we thank thee for the bounty we are about to receive” ?
Comment by Zaissa — March 12, 2010 @ 12:24 pm
you know, my husband has never lived down the day, shortly after we were married, that I was talking to him and my boss telling some involved story with dramatic hand gestures and the whole bit, but it wasn’t until my boss walked away that dh told me I had a booger hanging out of my nose. I have yet to forgive him.
I actually do and have been saying things like ’strong and healthy’ from the start. But I think the kids must like something about the ‘nourish and strength’ thing, because for all the other examples I’ve tried to give, that’s the one they’re all going with these days. I actually have never blessed specific foods, I’m going to have to give that a try, see if it can get them to eat the brussel sprouts.
Comment by fMhLisa — March 12, 2010 @ 12:25 pm
as long as the kids don’t pick up “we thank thee for the booty we are about to receive.” I could totally see my kids doing that.
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 12:27 pm
and then my husband making a sneaky inappropriate remark…. ahhh, I can see it now.
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 12:29 pm
Okay, now what I’m about to offer comes from the fact that
A) I grew up with a speech impediment and
B) I was an English major in college
So that being said, there is a time and a place for everything. Personally I think people need to concentrate on the sentiment on what is being stated at any given time. To do otherwise is dismissive.
However the English major in me recognizes that there are different audiences which of course means that one would have to speak in a more formal manner and one should let that be your guide when doing any kind of correction
Comment by Diane — March 12, 2010 @ 12:29 pm
Well April just make sure your kids understand the distinction between pirate treasure and and a “grown-up play date” when it comes to “booty” if that happens because later in life…;)
I think the phrase is the protestant equivalent in dinner prayer to “nourish and strengthen.” I hope that somewhere there are some Feminist Protestant Housewives mulling it over right now.
Comment by Zaissa — March 12, 2010 @ 12:32 pm
re 22 I agree
re 23 … ya, ummmm I HOPE they don’t have a clue about the alternate meaning for “booty” yet LOL
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 12:35 pm
This bugs my sister too. She brought back a video from EFY that suggested less trite and overused phrases in blessings on food, such as “we are grateful for these mashed potatoes, because they are delicious and we love to eat them.” Sounds a little funny, but better than asking brownies to nourish and strengthen.
Comment by Tash — March 12, 2010 @ 12:43 pm
My husband goes through phases with his verbal quirks, but while in that phase he becomes so reliant on it that it drives me mad!
For years he would say, “..as well, too.” When he just meant one of the other. Or “yes. no.” before giving a real answer, as if he was revving up to the point. Or he’ll make up words like equivilate. He would use it to mean “make something equivalent.”
His current one is “Stop and think about it….” before EVERYTHING. Any time he wants to make a point, or elaborate on something…”Stop and think about it….” Oh my gosh, nails on a blackboard.
He’s really good about breaking the habit when it’s pointed out to him, but then he’ll find a new habit so I always feel like the critical schoolteacher.
Also, any time he says a prayer or gives a blessing, he drops his voice like two octaves. His dad is totally to blame for that one, he set the example. As if a lower voice is more reverent or something. The first time Bear ever gave me blessing I pulled my head up to look at him because I thought he was joking. It still makes me giggle 11 years later.
Now nobody start a thread about weird little obsessive rituals, or else he’ll have to come on and laugh at my little oddities.
Comment by Reese Dixon — March 12, 2010 @ 12:44 pm
When we first got married, my husband would giggle when I said the prayers… I asked him why and he said “because you sound like you’re talking to a friend.” I replied “well, isn’t that a good thing?”
He loves flowery language and I’ve been working with him, especially during graduate school to explain that flowery doesn’t always work, especially when used incorrectly!
Comment by Bobby Pin Natalie — March 12, 2010 @ 12:50 pm
Lisa, does your husband actually know that he is using it incorrectly? If not, you could say, “Hey, did you know that . . . ” and just fill him in on some information without actually correcting or criticizing him.
Comment by Stephanie — March 12, 2010 @ 1:04 pm
This is one of those things about FW that I actually agree with - don’t criticize or correct or try to change your [spouse]. Accept him/her at face value and move on. However, in loving your spouse, it’s okay to share information that they might find beneficial.
Comment by Stephanie — March 12, 2010 @ 1:06 pm
Following the rules of pluralization set forth by comedian Brian Regan (popular in many LDS circles), I believe the correct phrasing would be “please Nourishen and Strengthenen”.
Comment by Moniker Challenged — March 12, 2010 @ 1:09 pm
re 26 He sounds like my dad!!! here’s one…. “I was just so awe-ifide.” and he says it deadpan… and pulls it off somehow… maybe it’s his businesslike demeanor that makes it so people just assume it’s actually a word…. I always have to chuckle about the words he makes up and the wording he sometimes uses. It’s enduring, he is, after all, my dad!
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 1:10 pm
I chuckled right after I read the first sentence of your post. Nothing like a little buyers remorse to get one up in the morning.
Comment by Chad — March 12, 2010 @ 1:13 pm
Huh, I always said “nourish and strengthen.” I knew it was one of those things that everyone says without thinking of the meaning, but still. It seemed like a good thing to say, probably because I’d been saturated with it since birth.
Whenever it rains (except for when we lived in Tacoma), my mom always says “we’re thankful for this moisture that we have received.” I asked her why she says “moisture,” since she doesn’t use the word outside of prayer. She didn’t know.
Comment by Amanda C — March 12, 2010 @ 1:33 pm
I struggle with this too. This is what I’ve learned:
1. Kids hear both examples, you can’t choose which one they imitate. My kids put the “t” in often because my husband does. I don’t. Both are correct. They aren’t ever going to switch to mine. You are fooling yourself if you think your kids will stop saying the prayer dad’s way without intervention.
2. My husband is his own person. If he wants me to correct his grammar I will. He, his family, and many people in this state make the same grammar mistake and it drives me crazy (the “had” or “have” tenses…… . I correct my children when they say it. I do not always correct my husband though. He started a new job last year and I swear the frequency went up and when he gave me an opening I asked if he wanted me to correct him and he said yes, so I came down heavy a few months ago and then backed off.
It is my RESPONSIBILITY to help my children learn grammar. It isn’t my responsibility to correct my husband’s grammar though. It is like food. If my kids try to eat a snack when in is an inappropriate time or an inappropriate snack they get corrected. If Dad wants an inappropriate snack that is his business unless he asks for help on a diet or something.
Comment by jks — March 12, 2010 @ 1:40 pm
I forgot to add that my son (with language learning disability) tried to imitate his father’s “nourish and strengthen us” but he would always say it wrong in the sentence because he wouldn’t end the sentence in the right place. When it didn’t improve I tried for a year or two to get him to say it correctly. I finally banned him from the expression because he simply couldn’t get it right. I wish I could explain it better than that. He simply didn’t understand language and sentence structure to use the words properly.
Comment by jks — March 12, 2010 @ 1:48 pm
we always say, “Please bless this food to the good and nourishment of our bodies and us to thy service.” which I realized when I thought about it is wrong too….
Comment by cgbmac — March 12, 2010 @ 1:56 pm
While I do not consider it my responsibility to tutor my husband whenever he is not being grammatically correct, it is my responsibility to let him know if his grammar is bothering me.
So trust me on this. If you do not tell him, it will build up and build up until one day in the middle of his blessing you’ll rise up out of your seat and yell “where in &*^%$#&^ did you learn English, Indonesia?”
And then you will be embarrassed, and he will be embarrassed. And then he will get upset with you for not telling him sooner because he has been saying the blessing wrong in front of the family and the ward, and the extended family, and the company picnic (or wherever, you get the picture).
Big green hugs,
Froggie - married 23 years to a man who is a much better communicator since he married a grammar nazi
Comment by Froggie — March 12, 2010 @ 1:56 pm
#20- Now I’m imagining little kids giving prayers in pirate voices!
That would drive me crazy! I’d correct him, but in private. That way, your kids won’t get the idea that your husband doesn’t know how to say things right. Your kids may not even notice the change. They may figure he was saying it that way all along.
One thing that bothers me a lot in the local Utah dialect is “your guyses” in place of “your” or “yours”. It’s this wierd conglomeration of wating to say “you guys” instead of “you” and wanting to show posession. But in the end, it just leaves me wondering, “My guyses? I have guys? And they have stuff? what the crap?”
Comment by AllieKay — March 12, 2010 @ 2:12 pm
Why does the food even need to be “blessed” isn’t the point of a prayer to simply thank the creator for the food that he has provided for you. Isn’t the fact that the food even exists proof that it is already blessed–God blessed it and it grew–your job now is to be thankful for it and him–so just say that and then shut up and eat.
Silly humans.
cje
Comment by cje — March 12, 2010 @ 2:14 pm
Well, we pray in public a lot- and it’s likely your dh is going to give a public blessing on the food at some point. If you don’t tell him that he’s using “nourish and strengthen” incorrectly, it’s kinda the same thing as him not telling you about the booger on your nose in front of your boss…right?
Comment by Kimberly — March 12, 2010 @ 2:20 pm
My first husband used to say “turlet” insted of “toilet”. Drove.me.nuts.
Comment by Kimberly — March 12, 2010 @ 2:22 pm
I agree with #40. The way your husband is using nourish and strength is a big green booger. It is a moral imperative to let him know!
Big green hugs,
froggie
Comment by Froggie — March 12, 2010 @ 2:37 pm
too funny. I say correct and explain it to hubby once away from the kids -then completely drop it.
I also laugh at blessing the brownies or what have you…though I have said “bless that we will use the energy that we receive to serve others” you know instead of bouncing of walls.
perhaps you can start a tradition of before each meal what they are grateful for and what they need energy to do after this…kind of a prayer prep…maybe it will morph into more specific prayers.
May this be the worst thing they pick up from your husband.
Comment by britt--and the brat — March 12, 2010 @ 2:48 pm
I’m with cje (#39) in that I’ve started just expressing gratitude for the food (and the earth and those who produce it). I don’t pray for the food to nourish me (it will) but rather that God will help me to be strong and to treat my body well, including in choosing and consuming good food.
My wife has some grammatical quirks that I’ve come to accept as endearing, and while I don’t harp on them or try to change her, we’ve certainly discussed them and the importance of teaching our children correct grammar. I think it’s fully reasonable to teach your kids that verbs should not be prefaced with “the.”
Comment by SW Clark — March 12, 2010 @ 3:00 pm
See? Now that’s exactly what sanctifying and purifying a husband is all about.
Comment by Stephanie — March 12, 2010 @ 3:14 pm
Re: 39 and 44
I agree. Is there a written or unwritten rule anywhere that says a blessing on the food must actually include the words “please bless this food that it may such-and-such?” Usually we just thank Heavenly Father for providing us with the food, and sometimes we simply ask Him to bless it without specifying which way He should do so.
Maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way. But somehow I feel that uttering sincere thanks and acknowledging that we know the food was given to us by Him is enough.
Of course, it does make our prayers shorter, too, which is always a plus. . .
Comment by Novice — March 12, 2010 @ 3:32 pm
I used to try to explain the difference between “borrow” and “lend” to my husband, because he always uses the phrase “borrow him some money” but I’ve kind of given up on that. Now I just correct things that he might use in a work communication. Like, I told him that “irregardless” wasn’t a word after I heard him use it with a coworker on the phone.
Comment by Kimarie — March 12, 2010 @ 3:47 pm
I hate nourish and strengthen and all like unto it!!
Comment by StillConfused — March 12, 2010 @ 3:58 pm
When I was a kid, we always said, “Please bless this food that it will make us healthy and strong.” It wasn’t until we were old enough to go to youth activities that we started to hear people say, “nourish and strengthen”.
These days, my husband and I usually just express thanks for the food. Maybe we’ll ask God to bless it, but we leave that up to Him how He’s gonna do it.
I mean, He’s God. I’m sure He know’s what He’s doing.
Comment by AllieKay — March 12, 2010 @ 4:26 pm
What? How long have you been married? I can’t believe you let it go this long!
marriage — where the man realizes that his wife won’t stay the same, and the woman realizes her husband won’t ever change.
Comment by Martin — March 12, 2010 @ 4:26 pm
Once at a RS activity night a few months ago, the refreshments were cookies and brownies and things- and the sister saying the prayer said, “please bless the refreshments, that they….. (pause)…..won’t make us fat”.
We all laughed. She got going and then realized she was praying over deserts and decided not to ask that they nourish our bodies.
My mister has some weird grammatical habits. I used to think it was from speaking spanish for two years, but now I think it’s just the way he was raised. I usually correct him (if it bugged him that I corrected him, I would probably try really hard to stop).
I usually end up saying “bless the food that it will make us strong and healthy”, but I really try to just say that we’re grateful for the food, and please bless it, in an effort to avoid the nourish and strengthen phrase.
Comment by Alliegator — March 12, 2010 @ 4:33 pm
AllieKay- I was going to say the exact same thing about leaving it up to God to bless in however he sees fit.
Comment by Alliegator — March 12, 2010 @ 4:35 pm
MY husband and daughter say “nourishen and strengthen” and I have mentioned it… but he also says sammich and other strange things…
I dont tend to like repetitive phrases at all in prayer- in fact, when I saw the title of this post, I knew just what it was going to be about. I am funny about things like that though.
Comment by Crystal — March 12, 2010 @ 5:01 pm
I correct my husband’s grammar all the time. He’s a big boy, he can handle it. And if our son was old enough to pick up on it I would certainly want us both to try to set a good example. I don’t really see how the fact that it’s in prayer form makes a difference. Bad grammar is bad grammar. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. It sounds like the kind of thing DH and I would laugh about.
Comment by Alyssa — March 12, 2010 @ 5:05 pm
Martin #50 - Ha. Funny. Like the Oscar Wilde quote (off topic, but similar to yours) “All women become like their mothers. That is their tradgedy. Men never do–and that is theirs.”
And #47 Kimarie - That one drives me nuts too. On par with “I need to ‘itch’ my head”
Comment by zaissa — March 12, 2010 @ 5:20 pm
#55I love it when people use the “micro” to “dethaw” something before they bless it to nourish and strengthen them
Comment by Moniker Challenged — March 12, 2010 @ 5:39 pm
oh gads… one around here is “The car needs fixed”…. WTH…. what the heck happened to the “to be”…ugh
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 5:43 pm
Only correct him if he starts pronouncing “Gentiles” as “genitals.”
Comment by Mark B. — March 12, 2010 @ 5:54 pm
I generally mock my husband’s grammar in front of my children.
I would not know which particular malapropism to share with you,but the fact that,when on the bishopric he announced from the stand that the priesthood would now ‘blast and pest the sacrament’ you’ll get some idea of what I have to bear with.
I adore him for his many attributes in front of my children also,but there are some things I just can’t take.
Still,dinner time in my house is generally an absolute hoot.Puns,Freudian slips and grammatical errors abound.Love it.Our best times.
Comment by wayfarer — March 12, 2010 @ 6:00 pm
along the same lines as #59 … one of the missionaries turned to his companion and stated “are you mocking me?” to which my husband replied… “isn’t that what a companion is supposed to do?” then proceeded to tell them that he and I mock each other all the time… and since it is done playfully and not with the intention of harm it is a very wonderful thing
Companions are supposed to tease and pick on each other… you know when that stops that there is trouble. This is similar to what one of my friends says “If you can no longer joke about having a BF and GF with your spouse, THAT is when you should start to worry.”
Comment by April — March 12, 2010 @ 6:42 pm
39, That reminds me of the sign I’m told they had in the DC temple cafeteria at one point which said “The food has already been blessed.” No need to give thanks, someone already did it! Talk about a time saver.
Comment by Chelsea — March 12, 2010 @ 6:44 pm
oh golly..I’m from the north, hubby’s from the south…we have a whole lot of disagreements on word pronunciation. His little cousins used to make me say things so they could laugh and I thought it was hilarious because they all had slow drawls.
“Steereo”- I always have to remind him it is not a cow, it is a device to listen to music on.
What drives me nuts is when he reads the scriptures out loud and really fast with absolutely no inflection in his voice at all. Monotonous. Plus he adds in a whole bunch of different words that aren’t really there. But, hey it keeps us all on our toes.
Comment by jpwllms — March 12, 2010 @ 7:16 pm
I can’t believe you didn’t say anything about it before. It’s not that big of a deal, but one that I would correct. My husband has been really grateful that I’ve given him proper instruction re: fewer v. less.
Comment by Dorothy — March 12, 2010 @ 8:01 pm
You ask if it’s ok to correct someone else’s “heartfelt” prayer… if he’s saying it without realizing it, it’s not heartfelt.
Comment by Jessica M. — March 12, 2010 @ 9:32 pm
I’d have to say something about that. I can understand your angst!
In our family, with fussy kids, we often pray that the food will be delicious to everyone that is at the table! ….our prayers aren’t always answered though. :0(
Comment by Dawn — March 12, 2010 @ 9:37 pm
I would ask your husband, “honey, do you prefer that I correct your grammer or just enjoy it & correct the children?”
Comment by venus — March 12, 2010 @ 9:55 pm
Perhaps a prayer-song will help?
More seriously, why not drop the N&S bit? “Please bless the food to make our bodies strong.” Of course, some food needs more help than others…
Comment by ErinAnn — March 13, 2010 @ 12:36 am
just went and listened to the preview of that song Erin…
Oh. Dear.
…………….
Comment by April — March 13, 2010 @ 12:40 am
My wife had a missionary companion who would just bless all of her groceries when she got home from shopping, thus rendering pre-meal blessings pointless. Problem solved.
I’m trying to get away from a different aspect of the Mormon prayer-speak. It’s the endless chains of, “that we might… that we might… that it may…and on and on.” I guess it’s how we explain the specifics of what we’re asking for, but it strikes me as very indirect. I want to talk to my father in a respectful but honest and intimate way. Still trying to figure it out.
Comment by Brian — March 13, 2010 @ 1:13 am
My SIL always says “we’re thank thee.” *shudder*
Comment by J-town — March 13, 2010 @ 2:05 am
Oh I have so many grammatical pet peeves to list… luckily there’s no husband for now for me to correct.
I’d like to echo #62 in particular. Sunday School and Relief Society offer many opportunities for people to read aloud, and some people are really bad about adding in extra words here and there. Adding a few isn’t so bad but if it’s between every 2-3 words that you’re adding something in and I’d have no clue what you were saying if I didn’t have the text in front of me, just take a breath, and slow down!
If I were you, I think I’d tell DH it’s incorrect, and just tell him it would be grammatically correct if he just changed “nourish” to “nourishment”. The overuse of “nourish and strengthen” may be a battle to fight another day.
Comment by LDesque — March 13, 2010 @ 3:36 am
Here’s another good one constantly given during benedictions: “Please bless that no haraxiden will come upon us.” Huh? It took me so long to figure out that the person praying was petitioning that no “harm or accident” would come upon us. On the way home from church? Ever? Really? I would picture a big haraxiden befalling upon all of us because the prayer had not worked. That phrase still makes me smile.
Comment by RunnerMom — March 13, 2010 @ 6:08 am
I’m eternally baffled by the Mormon tradition of asking God to bless our food. Everyone else uses their pre-meal prayer to thank God for the food; our own scriptures tell us to receive food with thanksgiving. I just don’t understand where or why grace evolved into a superstitious anti-food-poisoning ritual. It has all the sincere, humble gratitude of knocking on wood to avoid jinxing ourselves, and I try to never, ever do it. (It helps that we’re poor enough that I actually am wildly grateful every night that we have food to put on our plates, since we’ve gone without quite often recently — not easy for a pregnant woman — so it’s pretty easy to say thanks instead of dropping into the voodoo ritual)
However, I am Mormon born and bred, and sometimes it slips out. But I hate it.
Comment by AnnaKE — March 13, 2010 @ 9:23 am
AnnaKE, Maybe we get it from the Catholics?
Comment by Chelsea — March 13, 2010 @ 10:53 am
I thought I posted this last night!
You should just sing this song instead.
Comment by ErinAnn — March 13, 2010 @ 11:35 am
“a big haraxiden befalling upon all of us”
HILARIOUS. That harm and accident befalling on us thing is so funny to hear. I only hear it in Utah. I like Utah.
A big thing I hear people get messed up on…and its BAD:
immortality and immorality.
But not usually in prayers for food.
My grandfather ( not LDS ) had a very short , always the same prayer over food. I wish I had written it down….
I also liked the placard at the DC temple that said the food had been blessed.
Some people say prayers in restaurants. We don’t do that, unless we are with other people who suggest it, but I am thinking it would be a good thing to say one in the car before going in. Because blessing the hands that prepare it, and their owners, and that it will be good nutrition for us…might be nice.
Bless those hands. Who started THAT? Reminds me of the Adam’s family.
Comment by Melissa P. — March 13, 2010 @ 2:20 pm
I think what he daid doesn’t bother me , unlike what someone said in the closing prayer at an event, the prayer was uttered at at the conclusion of the event and in anticipation of refreshments:
The prayer voice said something such as this:
“please remove the impurities from the [refreshments] OR “please help these to be free of impurites”
I don’t recall the exact wording but it was certainly unusual. Still like said at the start of this thread, we do need to be caustious in being critical of the sincere prayers of others.
Comment by thought on prayer — March 13, 2010 @ 2:48 pm
Also only heard in Utah: “We thank thee for the moisture.” It’s never rain or snow or precipitation, always “moisture.”
Comment by Chelsea — March 13, 2010 @ 3:25 pm
So LIsa, did you tell him yet?
Comment by Paula — March 13, 2010 @ 3:36 pm
I can assure you that “nourish and strengthen” is not a Mormon thing. A typical Protestant prayer also goes something like “God, we thank you for this meal. Bless this food to our bodies, that it might nourish and strengthen us, and bless the hands that prepared it. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
When I was about 12 I picked up a book my mom was reading. It was some kind of diet book from a Christian perspective. The author claimed that if you had to eat fattening food to avoid offending someone, you could ask God to bless it, and you wouldn’t get the calories from it that you would normally. I’ve only heard that idea once, though.
Comment by Kate — March 13, 2010 @ 3:52 pm
” I’m eternally baffled by the Mormon tradition of asking God to bless our food.” I have family of many religions and they all ask God to bless the food. You know…the prayer formula/pattern…
Dear Heavenly Father
We thank thee
We ask thee
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
So it sort of just makes sense … to express gratitude for and to ask for a blessing on the food. Some of the things I concoct probably need that.
Comment by Melissa P. — March 13, 2010 @ 4:21 pm
My dad would always say, “Let’s take the curse off this,” to let us know it was time to pray before dinner. Big eye rolls when we were kids, gentle chuckles now we’re older.
We’re thankers more than blessers. I am always thankful for brownies!
Comment by TXgirl — March 13, 2010 @ 6:49 pm
i say correct the kids grammar nicely in front of dad and maybe he’ll get it too.
Comment by Lacy — March 13, 2010 @ 10:03 pm
In private, tell him that he sounds ignorant and not to say it again as your kids are getting “dumber” because of this. Then “nourish and strengthen” his body by initiating wild sex to be sure he knows that you love him.
Comment by Really? — March 13, 2010 @ 10:28 pm
Mention it ONCE to him how much it bugs you, (see # 66)privately, then after that if you beat him up about it, you are a jerk. It isn’t that big of deal. Be kind. Remember, once he is dead you will wish you could hear him say it again.
Comment by I Wonder — March 14, 2010 @ 2:40 pm
# 9 - ‘obvious ain’ts” When did aint become bad grammar???????
The most common grammar error I hear is:
“Me and Joe…….” instead of “Joe and I…….” My Junior High English teacher must be rolling in her grave over the poor grammar that is so common.
# 78 - I say .. snow (rain) and the moisture it brings… Mentioning moisture reminds us of why they are important so we don’t grumble too much about the mud or slippery roads.
Comment by Glenn Smith — March 15, 2010 @ 2:01 pm
I would say something to my hubby, alone. I occasionally before a prayer just remind the child saying it to say what they are thinking and to not worry about saying what others say. In fact I purposefully start my prayers as differently as I can each time. This has helped to ME have more meaningful prayers. They’ll catch on. No worries.
Comment by Janan — March 18, 2010 @ 2:53 pm
#84
HA!!
Comment by AllieKay — March 18, 2010 @ 3:42 pm
While I’ve laughed at the idea of asking G-d to make a bacon cheeseburger “nourish” me (in my mind He always says c’mon, I’m not a miracle worker in Mel Brooks kind of way) I’ve started to cut out that old trope even over healthier foods. If I ask for blessing about my food, I find it selfish to ask for more than the simple blessing of having food. Instead I’ve tried to use meal prayers to ask G-d to bless the minimum wage worker or lower than minimum wage person who was responsible for getting the food to what is hopefully a more grateful mouth.
Comment by Emma — May 2, 2010 @ 4:46 am