What’s your spiritual language?
Has anyone read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman? In it, Chapman asserts that each of us interprets love via one of five unique “love languages” and that people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own. You can even take a quiz to find out which love language you speak! (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/)The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. According to the handy-dandy quiz posted on Chapman’s website, my primary love language is Acts of Service. Dishes done without nagging? Amazing! Kids picked up from school on his pick-up day so I can work later? He loves me! Physical touch might be my second language. I like to spend time together, but I don’t need it to be undivided or “quality” time; I’m happy to sit in the same room–both of us on our computers, at separate desks, while a movie or an episode of Modern Family is on . . . Receiving gifts? It’s Greek to me.
But wait—this post isn’t supposed to be about my marriage. I’m wondering whether this idea works for spiritual languages. Is it possible that there are spiritual languages like these that make certain aspects of Mormonism work better for some people than for others? What kinds of things really speak to you spiritually? For me, I am spiritually moved by the following:
1. Music. Doesn’t have to be “church” songs. “Do you hear the people sing?” from Les Mis does it every time. The theme song from Schindler’s List also does it. This year’s new song for the 2010 primary theme (”I know that my Savior loves me”) does it every time. “If you don’t walk as most people do”—done deal. That’s why being the primary chorister is a great calling for me. I am able to teach music (which I love) and pick songs that are written in my “spiritual language,” so to speak.
2. Social activism. I feel the spirit when I read an article or a book about a wrong being righted. I recently read the book Walking with the Wind—Congressman John Lewis’s memoir of his participation in the civil rights movement. Reading it was a powerful spiritual experience for me. I feel like that’s the greatest evidence of the divine in our lives—seeing people working together to bring about social change that improves the lives of others.
Sometimes this language doesn’t get spoken enough in our church for me. I attended a Unitarian Universalist conference with my aunt last year and there were all these sessions about activism—promoting literacy worldwide, increasing educational opportunities and building schools for women, working on women’s health issues in developing nations, promoting greater voter turn-out, etc. I was so invigorated to see all the planning and discussion about how to work on these issues. Our church does have the Perpetual Education Fund and humanitarian service projects. But it feels different to me. Not sure how/why.
Types of spiritual languages that I don’t speak:
1. The whole commune-with nature-thing: nope. I know this is very real for some people and I respect that, but I don’t speak that language.
2. Solitude: nope. I definitely need people around me.
3. Ritual/symbolism: nope again. This may be part of why the temple has always been hard for me.
What say ye, FMH readers? Does this idea resonate with anyone? Are there primary spiritual languages of Mormonism or Mormons? If so, what are they? And if you don’t speak some of those spiritual languages that are primary to Mormonism, can you acquire them? Could I learn to speak the language of ritual and symbolism, for instance, even though it feels so foreign and distant to me now?
Oooo…great post!
One of my spiritual languages is definitely acts of service. For me, the whole point of the organized church (as opposed to the gospel/Atonement) is to enable and encourage us to serve one another. I love it. I think it really works, too. Home and Visiting Teaching and callings and blessings from leaders come straight from God.
For personal spiritual language, I am not sure how to put this, but it is…intellectual and emotional movement by the same thing. I don’t put in the time and effort needed to have it happen consistently or on command, but there have been some times reading Isaiah where I really understood what Nephi was talking about, and many of my very strong spiritual experiences come from reading the scriptures when it made sense in my head and my heart at the same time.
Comment by Katie P. — March 20, 2010 @ 7:45 am
Great post! I see my top spiritual languages as social activism and “the whole commune with nature thing.” Both of which don’t always have a lot to do with the typical LDS experience, which could be why I’m having trouble even wanting to go to church. ‘
I agree that ritual is probably a big one for LDS people, or really most people involved in organized religion. I don’t know if you could learn to speak that language… I haven’t tried.
Comment by Megan B. — March 20, 2010 @ 8:49 am
1-music
2-commune with nature-solitary and all-love it, the beauty of it amazes me
3-blessings-answers to prayer
4-ordinances
5-acts of service
interesting
Comment by britt-the pregnant — March 20, 2010 @ 8:55 am
I’d add another act– the feeling of authority. Some people really like to feel like someone will be there to tell them what to do and make sure everything stays under control. I don’t personally go for this type of thing, but for some it is a reassuring safety net.
Comment by z — March 20, 2010 @ 9:11 am
Oh yes. Music speaks to me more than anything; even though I’m no longer a member of the Church I still try to catch the MoTab Choir broadcasts each week.
My spirit also responds to examples of social activism/justice obtained, wrongs being righted.
And then there are great quotes that move me, pearls of wisdom from people famous or obscure. I’ve always loved Samuel Johnson’s “A decent provision for the poor is the true test of civilization.” Two other current favorites:
(He’s a perennial fount of wisdom for me)
I could go on and on…
Terrific post, hkobeal. Things like this are what make me a regular follower of fMh.
Comment by SLK in SF — March 20, 2010 @ 9:11 am
Having a “language” means that one is more sensitive to shortcomings in that area. Music is definitely one of my languages, and although I don’t usually mind underrehearsed performances, when the music is boring or poorly chosen it’s really hard for me to cope with the disappointment!
Comment by z — March 20, 2010 @ 9:27 am
Interesting ideas, hkobeal. I know that for me, music is definitely not it. I get irritated that we have so many musical number in church. I figure we could cut the time of the meeting down if we left out the music.
For me, I definitely think my spiritual language is the scriptures. I love to read the scriptures, and I love it when speakers teach from the scriptures.
Comment by Stephanie — March 20, 2010 @ 9:30 am
Ha Z-that was one of hte reasons I was debating music as a language…I’m pretty patient with the primary voice but if it sings ARRRGGHHH
also anything Afterglowish…not right
Comment by britt-the pregnant — March 20, 2010 @ 9:50 am
1. Communing with nature.
2. Working with those who are suffering: all of my most spiritual experiences have been as I worked as a nurse. Nurse’s intuition is powerful stuff.
3. Immediate family, but not so much extended family or family history. I think that actually has more to do with my struggles with anxiety and depression because my husband and daughters bring me peace which leads to more openness to spiritual things.
4. Ritual–I actually really enjoy the consistency of the temple and sacrament because the sameness allows me to focus on meditating and discovering more about my feelings which works for me better than prayer. I generally don’t get personal revelation so much through prayer but through these. And since I have 3 little kids, it is difficult to really focus on the sacrament. That’s why the temple is so important and meaningful to me.
The languages I don’t speak:
1. Prayer–I’ve always always struggled with prayer and I still haven’t figured it out, though I do believe in it.
2. Music–I love music and I’m a pianist, but the spirituality just isn’t there for me, maybe because having music callings is such a chore for me.
3. Tradition and sentimentality–totally meaningless to me.
Thanks so much for this. I’d really never thought about it before and it was cool to sit and analyze myself.
Comment by jen — March 20, 2010 @ 9:56 am
@Stephanie (#7) - You remind me of C.S. Lewis, who didn’t care for music (especially congregational singing) in church:
Comment by SLK in SF — March 20, 2010 @ 9:59 am
I’ve been thinking about this recently too. Lynnette at Zelophehad’s Daughters had a similar post titled “Languages of Faith” a couple of weeks ago.
Music is definitely a spiritual language for me. Sometimes the singing at church is when I am most likely to feel the Spirit. But when I look around the chapel, it seems like few of my fellow Saints get as much out of the hymns as I do. So maybe their primary spiritual language is something else.
I echo those who say acts of service are an important spiritual language of love. If I am ever feeling distant from God, helping other people is one of the best ways for me to his feel the Spirit again. And few activities bring me true spiritual satisfaction as doing things for other people.
The flip side of this, observing love in action, is also one of my spiritual languages. Watching someone forgive another always touches me. Listening to stories of sacrifices made out of love always have an effect on me. These actions speak to my Spirit because they are such powerful reminders of how Christ treats people.
Participating in learning and teaching is another one of my spiritual languages. When I find a class at church with the Spirit, you can be sure I will attend. On my best days as a teacher, I feel inspired to facilitate an exchange where people’s words are shared and received in the same spirit.
Comment by Sterling Fluharty — March 20, 2010 @ 10:03 am
Music is probably my number one spiritual language. (Especially if it’s paired with moving images.)
I discovered a few years ago that simple acts of service also do it for me. I helped my mom dress my grandmother’s body for her funeral. It’s still one of the most profoundly spiritual experiences I have ever had. I was serving someone in a way that could never be repaid.
I find beauty in nature, but it doesn’t feel very spiritual to me. Prayer and I? Well, we’re working on it. I also don’t find a lot of spirituality in ritual–I am not great at meditating and definitely prefer being able to focus on new things.
Comment by Mrs. H-B — March 20, 2010 @ 10:37 am
This is a great post. I like being reminded that we all have different methods of perception and that we shouldn’t feel bad if we don’t have the same reaction to something as everyone around us.
For me, sitting alone on a wooded mountain with some good MoTab would be more conducive to the spirit and me actually feeling/learning something than any given Sunday in church. Though I agree about church music numbers, which usually feel more like a showcase of talent. Choir numbers are a different story, however (but I’m the choir director, so I’m biased
Comment by corktree — March 20, 2010 @ 10:52 am
I’m not a religious woman though I find a sense of peace, increased clarity about my ethics and interesting ideas about how to life a vital life through:
1 - mindfulness meditation;
2 - acknowledging the beauty and the horror of nature and its ability to sustain my life and it’s ultimate ability to cease it;
2 - Prozac.
Comment by barmy stoat — March 20, 2010 @ 11:04 am
Hee. Love it Barmy.
Comment by Reese Dixon — March 20, 2010 @ 11:20 am
One language that creeps me out is sentimentalism. Messages that are overtly sappy and/ or emotionally manipulative make me cringe. This is true of much modern Mormon music (gag).
Pondering, thoughtful reflectiveness — these are probably my spiritual languages.
Comment by JesS — March 20, 2010 @ 11:24 am
I love this post. It puts into words, what has been in my heart. Probably one of my languages is reading well thought out ideas that resonate with my soul. I am a real nature nut, and can find spiritual inspiration in a single flower. Social justice, for sure. Meditation, prayer and scriptures, oh yes. Not ritual. Not authority. Not sentimentality. But most definitely Prozac.
Comment by IdahoG-ma — March 20, 2010 @ 11:32 am
I know at least one of mine has changed over time. Prayer used to be a very significant one for me as a teenager, but now I really struggle to feel anything there. One that I never had growing up was family — mine was a mess and I found no peace there. Now with a husband and kids I have spiritual experiences with them every day just because of who they are to me. I see God in my husband and children.
My main ones that have never changed are acts of service and music, and these seem to be pretty prominent answers so far, especially service. I wonder if that’s so for the population as a whole or just us here. It would be interesting to do a study to find out (my Sociology BS is showing!).
So some have changed and some have stayed the same. I think it would be interesting to take those and see if I can glean any wisdom about what it says about me now vs. me then, but I’ve got a kid repeatedly hitting me with a block and a baby squirming under one arm, so analysis will have to wait.
Comment by Melynna — March 20, 2010 @ 11:37 am
It looks like I have extra commas as usual. Feel free to use them if you need to.
Comment by IdahoG-ma — March 20, 2010 @ 11:41 am
OK, hkobeal, now you’ve had me humming, “I Know That My Savior Loves Me,” all morning (not a bad thing). I also love “I’ll Walk With You” — and my personal favorite, “I’m Trying to Be Like Jesus.” Yep, I definitely feel the Spirit through music; I love hearing the special musical numbers in Sacrament meeting and singing the hymns; preferably every verse. This post brings to mind Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences — as a teacher, I’ve seen how children learn best in many different ways; visual, musical, kinesthetic, linguistic, etc. It’s all good.
Comment by Valory — March 20, 2010 @ 12:44 pm
This is not exactly a response to the question, but one of the things I remember most about seminary was the day where my teacher had us all say what the spirit physically felt like to us. Some people, like me, get goosebumps. Other responses that I remember were a heart pounding really fast, feeling like you’re on a roller coaster and your stomach drops out from under you, and one person said they had felt a burning in the bosom. It was just really interesting for me to learn that about my friends, and to know that the spirit does work differently for different people. I also know people who say they don’t feel anything physical. It’s good to be reminded that there’s not one “right” way to feel the spirit, or a “right” thing to be moved by.
As for my spiritual language, I’d have a hard time saying what is really dominant. Music, nature, service, etc.–all such good things!
Comment by Emily — March 20, 2010 @ 1:13 pm
Some of my spiritual languages include:
1. Reading the scriptures and inspirational books
2. Meditating (mindfulness)
3. Praying
4. Listening to inspiring music
5. Enjoying the beauties of nature
6. Celebrating life through gratitude
7. Loving God, myself, and others
8. Spending time with others
9 Listening, laughing, and learning
10.Experiencing God’s infinite love
11.Forgiving myself and others
Comment by Carol — March 20, 2010 @ 1:44 pm
hkobeal, are you actually me, posting as someone else?
Just saying. We seem to have a lot in common. I pretty much fall on the floor in a faint of joy when I listen to “Can you hear the people sing”.
I am so glad to see someone else describe activism as spiritual. Have you studied the story of the 1937 Flint, Michigan sit-down strike? OH MAN! That kind of solidarity can only be described as sacred.
Comment by Hammie — March 20, 2010 @ 2:12 pm
Like so many other things, we need to balance things out in our “spiritual language”.
There’s some LDS members who can sing well, but abuse their children. Quality time for some men is watching ANY sport that comes up on TV, even though the rest of the family is afraid to voice they don’t like what they are watching. Some member will pray for those in need, but not otherwise lift a finger to help them.
This may be an area for you to turn into a strength, hkobeal, for the scriptures are loaded with symbolism as well. Yes, weaknesses can be turned into strengths with the help of the Lord.
Otherwise, I do enjoy the lists here.
Comment by Mike H. — March 20, 2010 @ 2:17 pm
Love all that’s been said,but not so much the guy at the top.Do i have to choose?I think I’d take any or all of them,since they are all an expression of someone’s love or affection for me.Although,I have been known to do graceless with the best of them…
I know I’m not supposed to say this,but frequently my husband is the only one who can speak to me in a way that I’m able to allow to hold any water.I guess I trust his love for me,and he’s here.The other guys don’t know me from Eve,and I don’t know their agenda.I know for sure he’s one of the good guys.
Also,I increasingly trust fun.It’s greater balm to my soul than a whole load of sunday morning rumination.It makes me a lot nicer too.
Comment by wayfarer — March 20, 2010 @ 2:21 pm
Saturday’s Warrior came up in another blog:
http://ldstalk.wordpress.com/2010/02/24/where-have-all-the-cowboys-missionaries-gone/
Ms. Jack Meyer was explaining Mormon culture & theology at her Dvinity school:
Comment by Mike H. — March 20, 2010 @ 2:27 pm
Oops! Meyers
Comment by Mike H. — March 20, 2010 @ 2:28 pm
This is a very thought provoking post that I am going to have to give some thought to my response.
But, h, are you on Carol Lynn Pearson’s email list? Because she has an inspirational story about her “If you don’t..” song.
Comment by venus — March 20, 2010 @ 2:44 pm
1. Music–A good piece of music can make me happy or sad, calm or invigorated. Even when I feel like the church or my family have failed me, or that I have failed myself, a good piece of music can lift me out of the depths of despair. This is also why I’m particularly sensitive to how music is performed. It bothers me when someone gives a lousy rendition of a lousy song in church (”Walk Tall, You’re a Daughter of God” comes to mind). Just because the Church owns the song doesn’t make it good.
2. Acts of Service–I seldom feel as spiritual as I do when I allow myself to be generous and kind. I feel that I am helping Jesus with the work when I deliver gourmet cupcakes to my VT companion who just had a baby or when I give my time to listen to someone who is struggling.
Languages I don’t speak:
1. Solitude–Being alone makes me anxious. I don’t think as clearly when I’m just thinking things to myself instead of discussing them with other people. I remember being frustrated in YW when some girl would talk about how it was so spiritual to pray alone in one’s room or out in the woods for hours. If I were in one of those situations, i wouldn’t be able to focus because I’d be too bothered by the fact that I’m alone.
2. Ritual–Call me a heathen, but most of it just feels so arbitrary.
3. Sharing testimonies–I’m just not into fast and testimony meeting because I feel that, at least for me, spiritual experiences are private. When I hear people talk about their spiritual experiences, I get uncomfortable because I feel like it’s none of my business. Oh, and I don’t like seeing people get emotional in front of groups because there is always that one girl who gets up and cries her eyes out every week, and it seems vaguely contrived.
Comment by AllieKay — March 20, 2010 @ 4:04 pm
I just remembered something from when I was a teenager that was always very spiritual for me. At Girl’s Camp a few of us would stay after campfire and stand in a circle around the dying fire with hymn books and flashlights. We’d take turns picking what song to sing and we’d sing a capella, sometimes for hours. I wish I could go back and do that again.
Comment by Melynna — March 20, 2010 @ 4:19 pm
I think what is really important here is that the differences are OK. How wise of our Father in Heaven to provide all these options in his church. I don’t think it is necessary to have to find the spirit in all of the areas, as long as something does it for you. That’s the spirit that then inspires us not to abuse our kids or, conversely, to get off our fannies and actively show our love for God and his children through service.
Comment by IdahoG-ma — March 20, 2010 @ 5:13 pm
What a great group of people!! Sorry I missed some of the discussion this morning–had to watch my daughter play in a state basketball tournament. A few thoughts:
#5 SLK–I also love good quotes. I print quotes out all the time and hang them up. My office door is covered–I’ve run out of room. But sometimes just once sentence really packs a punch.
#7 Stephanie–very interesting. For me, the music at church is pretty much the ONLY time I ever feel the spirit. So if we didn’t have that, I’d never last.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 5:26 pm
Re: sappy music (Britt-the-preg., JesS, and Mike H.):
Yes. Some of the music we hear in church makes me cringe. A few memories:
1. A very well-meaning RS presidency in my BYU student ward prepared a slide show with music for the last Sunday of the school year. Pictures of Christ’s life with Chicago’s “You’re the inspiration” playing in the background. Ouch. It was all I could do to not laugh out loud. The pres got up at the end and talked about how strong the spirit had been. I was completely flummoxed.
2. I was in the YW pres. once and the YM showed “My turn on earth” on one of the Wed. they were in charge of. It backfired. The YM/YW totally made fun of it–it’s so dated! One of the YM said, after it was over: “Wow. I feel totally violated.” The other people in the YM/YW presidencies (who were all 40+) were mad, but I was amused.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 5:33 pm
#9 Jen–interesting observation about your nursing experiences.
Family is a huge one for me, too.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 5:34 pm
#18 Melynna–love your idea of seeing God in your husband and children. I feel like that sometimes, too.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 5:36 pm
#20 Valory–interesting point re: multiple intelligences. I teach this to my pre-service teachers as well. One of the things I always ask them is what other types of intelligence they might ADD to the list. I also ask them to identify which types of intelligence get the most emphasis in our school system and whether they agree with that emphasis. So that’s kinda what I was thinking about re: spiritual languages. Which spiritual languages get the most (and the least) emphasis in our worship services and how does that impact our church experience?
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 5:40 pm
#21 Emily, I agree that it’s interesting to hear how different people would describe feeling the spirit. I think we need to do a better job of this when we teach children. I worry that we almost always describe it as a “warm feeling” or “a still small voice.” I’ve never heard a still, small anything, so that doesn’t work for me.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 5:41 pm
#23 Hammie–Ha! I’m pretty sure I’m not you, but I’m glad I don’t sound like a complete crackpot to you.
No, I haven’t read about the Flint Michigan strike. Any book recommendations?
So if that is one primary way in which you feel the spirit, do you feel like that gets nurtured regularly in our worship services? I really don’t. But maybe I’m just looking at it in the wrong way. ??
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 5:45 pm
#28 Venus: no, I didn’t know anything about a CLP email list. Suggestions for how I can sign up??
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 5:46 pm
#29 AllieKay–I feel the same way about solitude. I love people. I can use some quiet time every now and then, but mostly I like to talk to people and learn from them . . .
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 5:47 pm
AllieKay, your “call me a heathen” about not liking ritual completely amuses me - I might actually be a heathen (not currently a part of/believer in any organized religion) and the thing I miss most is the ritual of everything! I was raised Lutheran but went to a Catholic church in high school, and I loved how they had things like kneeling and a “script” that was always the same for the sacrament. I often wonder how I can find something in secular life that also has meaningful rituals, although maybe that’s a bit of a contradiction.
I guess my other spiritual language is probably music, although more in the style of youth mass and Evangelical contemporary music rather than traditional hymns. Perhaps this affectation for contemporary music as well as ritualistic “high church” practices is what makes it so difficult to find anywhere I consistently like to worship…
Comment by epi — March 20, 2010 @ 5:48 pm
re 33 #2 ROFLMAO… I LOVE teens!!!! LOVE THEM!
Comment by April — March 20, 2010 @ 5:49 pm
My wife & I were asked to sing “To All the Girls I’ve loved Before” Karaoke at a joint 2 Ward Party once. I felt it was NOT appropriate to be at any Church function, or to “mug” a new Ward member by asking them to do something like that when they are new in the Ward.
Testimony Meeting: I’ve heard great ones, and some real stinkers. The Travelogues get old. I have trouble with the “I’m so righteous I’m now wealthy” ones don’t really help anyone.
Solitude: Since I’m slightly autistic, I find it easier than to be with others at times. Yet, I also like social interaction in some settings.
Service: I’ve felt good about a number of services I’ve done, group or single, organized or unplanned. I am having trouble returning to Family History or Temple service since I was wrongly blamed for causing my 2 son’s autism by doing those fields of service instead of working on “perfecting” my children.
Comment by Mike H. — March 20, 2010 @ 5:55 pm
re 43 — you were blamed for their autism? Honestly, peoples nerve and un-Christlike uncharitable behavior especially in a church atmosphere that specifically teaches them NOT to be like that never ceases to amaze me. Someone needs a good smack or three.
Comment by April — March 20, 2010 @ 6:00 pm
#38, hko -
I would actually start with a film documentary called “With Babies and Banners,” about the women’s involvement in the strike. So, so cool. I’d follow that up with a (not fabulously written but SO interesting) book called, “The Many and the Few: A Chronicle of the Dynamic Auto Workers” written by someone who was closely involved in the events (Henry Kraus).
I’m not sure how to find the documentary…. maybe Netflix?
Sadly, I do not feel like that part of my faith features much in the public community at all. I find my own inspiration for it in my personal study, and in my non-LDS community of leftists. I’ve recently started devouring liberation theology because it is finally a worldview that combines my religious with my social/political views. Ironically, I don’t know how much I am a religious person anymore…. but I’m still so drawn to the parallels. I think that religion has such power for moving towards economic and social justice. But it isn’t being tapped by our church right now.
It’s all a part of my love/hate relationship.
Comment by Hammie — March 20, 2010 @ 6:29 pm
Mike-I can’t imagine how that would feel to hear. Unfortuantely I’m tired and my first thought was…well that disproves the vaccine theory.
seriously temple attendance causes autism? crazy
Comment by britt--and the brat — March 20, 2010 @ 6:33 pm
Prayer. Because of it, I love solitude. I like solitude while I’m communing with nature, riding my bike, housecleaning, gardening or just sitting. I’m always praying when I’m alone, so, maybe I shouldn’t call it solitude. I should call it my time with God, because I don’t feel alone, I’m actually having a long chat.
At the same time, I give service a place of equal importance. It starts by arranging my work schedule around being there for my kids and my elderly parents. Giving service is one of the reasons I am a nurse and I have switched specialties multiple times, finally staying put in critical care for the last 8 years. I believe I was called to different specialties for specific reasons that became apparent as I went along. I don’t think I could do this job without this partnership with my Heavenly Parents. It’s rewarding, it’s heartbreaking at times, it’s mentally and physically challenging- and it feeds and informs my soul. It has brought me into the universalness of the human condition.
Scriptures- love reading them and love listening to them and that has been true since I was only 4 years old.
Music, not as much- used to be very important before and I still enjoy it very much, but, it seems that in the last 15 years, I have moved more into the quiet phase. I love to walk in the woods with just the sounds of nature surrounding me. It seems like noises, even music sometimes, feels like an intrusion on the quietude. I have to be in the mood to seek it out. One of my favorite things to do is to go on a silent retreat at a nunnery on Naragansett Bay. Three days of speaking to no one and no one speaking to me (except my Heavenly Parents). The first time I did it, I thought I’d go crazy before day one was over. Then, something clicked and changed and being quiet was no longer difficult…it was sublime. I think that is when I began stripping competing noise out of my life and it brings me peace.
Comment by Kimberly — March 20, 2010 @ 6:36 pm
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I love this post. It actually helped me understand why I am having trouble communicating with a friend about church. We speak WAY different spiritual languages.
I wrote a post on my blog after reading this post.
http://wp.me/p8dlq-tI
Comment by Sheridan — March 20, 2010 @ 7:30 pm
I go for nature, anonymous acts of kindness and quiet.
I had a really hard time with the love languages quiz. I went with quality time ultimately but in reality, I didn’t particularly feel like I needed any of those. I feel people love me when they allow me to be me. That is what works for me.
Comment by StillConfused — March 20, 2010 @ 7:56 pm
This is a really great post.
Comment by Stephen M (Ethesis) — March 20, 2010 @ 8:27 pm
I haven’t read every single post, but is no one saying sex/making love as a love/spiritual language or activity? I would have to say that one of the most significant spiritual/love experiences of my life is one of the first times I made love to my partner. I wouldn’t even consider myself a sexual person–I still have many of the repressions programmed into me from being raised in the church–but when i find myself thinking too rationally and logically to allow space for faith, creativity, unity, beauty and the unknown, I think of that beautiful experience and my heart and mind opens to the possibilities that exist in this universe.
I also second all the music and social activism nods. I run a non-profit non-religious choir that sings free concerts in 17 languages throughout the new york city area. For being open and “non-religious” I think everyone there knows (choir and audience) that what we really do is share love and spirit. Also, I work for a union and this is the first time I’ve been able to see that love/passion/justice/anger/spirit mixed together in a working environment.
Comment by BigSister — March 20, 2010 @ 8:33 pm
My 7 year old has been having a major crisis of faith over this. She has said she isn’t sure if she believes in God at all because she has never heard a voice and never had an answer to prayer. I did my best to explain to her that faith means that we can believe in God without actually knowing for sure about him and she accepted that. And I explained how I feel the spirit which honestly is different in different circumstances. And that we need to continue to pray and learn how we can feel the spirit. But she is a very black and white kind of person and says, “Hey, this didn’t work for me, so I don’t think it is real.” I wish I knew her spiritual language.
I love how much she trusts me about it though. But on the other hand, I don’t want her to get baptized if she doesn’t really believe and that is coming soon. I guess many of us rely on our parents’ testimonies during those childhood years.
Comment by jen — March 20, 2010 @ 8:40 pm
LOL, no! Sorry I laugh, but before we got married, so many people told us that it would be one of the most spiritual experiences we’d ever have, but for us it totally wasn’t. It was wonderful, but not at all spiritual. We thought we were doing something wrong and kept waiting for that experience to happen. It never did. But it would have been awesome if it did.
Comment by jen — March 20, 2010 @ 8:44 pm
jen-
I know what you mean. Because of what people had said, I was expecting sex to be this big spiritual thing. It wasn’t, but maybe that’s because I had always been conditioned to think that only church-related things were “spiritual” and all other things “temporal” or “worldly”. Sex doesn’t feel like church. Church isn’t sexy.
The again, it kinda really weirded me out to hear people talk about sex as a spiritual experience because, for me, a spiritual experience meant communion with God. Now, I know God is always watching us, but I kinda hoped that God, as my Father, would for heavens sake have the decency to look away when my husband and I were going at it.
Comment by AllieKay — March 20, 2010 @ 8:51 pm
Wendy Watson’s Purity & Passion states that. Yes, sexuality of married couples as a sacrament. I know some of you may not like her book, but it is an interesting idea. I just wish I could sell my wife on the idea. It’s amazing when so many parents (like hers & mine) say nothing about sex to their children, then expect their children to functional normally sexually, yet avoid immorality. Go figure.
Comment by Mike H. — March 20, 2010 @ 9:40 pm
I don’t know that I’m going to weigh in on whether sex/making love is a spiritual experience, but it is an interesting question.
I haven’t read Watson’s book, but I agree that NOT talking to our children about sex is not only sad, but also irresponsible, and completely misses the point. So all the youth hear is “no no no” to all-things-sexual and then they get married and five minutes later, it’s “yes, yes, yes.” ?? Go figure.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 9:44 pm
BigSister -
Which union do you work for?
Comment by Hammie — March 20, 2010 @ 10:45 pm
Also, I TOTALLY get the spiritual sex thing.
My biggest love language is probably personal interaction, and sex is about as personal as it gets. Not all the time, but on occasion, sex is so much more than a physical act. I feel like our souls our joining together. It’s amazing. Seriously. 
Hey, it’s been a long time since we’ve had an anonymous thread about sex on here. Can one of you permas do something about that? Haha.
Comment by Hammie — March 20, 2010 @ 10:52 pm
#60–I’m laughing about an anonymous sex thread. I was warned that some FMHers love a good sex thread.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 10:59 pm
This has interesting implications on missionary work.
Comment by Stephanie — March 20, 2010 @ 11:02 pm
#47 - Kimberly,
I have moved more into the quiet phase. I love to walk in the woods with just the sounds of nature surrounding me. It seems like noises, even music sometimes, feels like an intrusion on the quietude.
Comment by Valory — March 20, 2010 @ 11:05 pm
Someone is going to have to teach me how to do that block quote thing; I always get it backwards
Comment by Valory — March 20, 2010 @ 11:06 pm
#62 Stephanie–good point. Do missionaries think about these things? I’m guessing most don’t. They seem to rely largely on the “you’ll get a warm feeling, which means the church is true” thing. But there are so many other ways for people to connect with and feel the spirit.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 11:08 pm
#63 Valory, I’ve been to Muir Woods, but when I went, it was with 9 other adults (my sibs, their spouses, and our parents) and 15 little kids, so it was definitely not spiritual. But if I had been alone with a good book, I think it might have been.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 11:09 pm
#60 - Hammie,
Well, one of Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences is “Interpersonal Intelligence,” so there you go…
Comment by Valory — March 20, 2010 @ 11:22 pm
Ooh….
Reading. Reading. Reading. Very spiritual for me. Or maybe just therapeutic. If I’m stressed or tired or happy or whatever, I get this intense craving to sit somewhere soft, put my legs up, and just read. Anything. I just need to have a book in my hands, to smell the ink and the paper, and be comforted by the black on the page.
I think eBooks are the greatest sacrilege since…… I don’t know…. something really sacrilegious (sp?)……
Comment by Hammie — March 20, 2010 @ 11:24 pm
Hammie, me too, me too! I took my 9-year-old daughter to a book store a few weeks ago. While we were there, I told her that going to bookstores sometimes stresses me out because I feel like I can just NEVER read all the books I want to read. My purse is full of little pieces of paper with book titles written on them and I am forever requesting books via interlibrary loan . . . She looked at me and said: “Mom, that’s really weird.”
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 11:30 pm
Music is probably my number one spiritual language but any sort of art comes close. I love art museums, and go on pilgrimages to them all over. But also poems and books are huge spiritual enablers for me. Something like Antoine du Saint Exupery’s Wind, Sand & Stars can have me in tears and raptures for days. Lord of the Rings is scripture to me. A.E.Housman, Emily Dickenson, Keats, Shelley, and Robert Browning can make me feel more connected to life, humanity, and the universe in general than most anything.
My second category is communing with nature. Mostly these days by watching the birds and animals come eat at the feeders on the back deck, through the big plate glass windows in the living room and dining room. I love them so much! The sun glistening off raindrops left on the leaves from a recent storm are more beautiful than any diamonds. I mean, I know this sounds hokey but I can sit and watch the play of wind through the trees, the colors of the leaves through the seasons, and just the beautiful shapes of the branches forever. The sky, clouds, storms, creeks running, birds singing, cicadas chanting in praise of the Almighty in the evening time, the blue and purple way the sky looks right before dark, bats wheeling overhead in the gloaming, all these things give me chills and make me feel the presence of the divine.
I guess prayer would be my third spiritual language. I love to hear someone pray in a simple and heartfelt way, or to pray myself and pour out my heart, my deepest wishes, thoughts, and feelings to my Heavenly Parents. I feel so loved at those times, and so watched over and cared about. Especially when I encounter events or people that I recognize as answers to prayer, I get chills and feel so exalted and ennobled. Sometimes that high can last for days. But it’s not just about the great feeling, but about trying earnestly to become someone better, to do more for those around me, and the feeling that eventually I will succeed, the hopefulness of that sure knowledge. I just feel so grateful for that guidance and for the opportunity to bless others and be blessed in turn.
Play is one of the most important ways I feel spirituality daily. Whenever I get lost in doing something creative, or in inventing games and playing them with my son or nieces, making jokes or appreciating the funny things my family says, building things (which is one of the most fun ways of playing for me), or just being silly, like singing out loud in parking decks where the echoes make it sound so cool, riding the grocery cart in the store parking lot on the way to my car, dancing like crazy to energizing music, or whatever it may be, I just feel very alive and connected to the universe. I feel like life is beautiful and I want to share my happiness with everyone. I love playing, and I think play should be a big part of everyone’s life no matter what age. There’s nothing better than enjoying a deep belly laugh with someone you love, and some of my most holy experiences, my very most precious memories, are of wholeheartedly laughing with friends without any guile or reservations. I’m 51 but I still act like a kid a lot of the time. I don’t know if that makes me insane or just a very happy person. =)
Comment by Tatiana — March 20, 2010 @ 11:49 pm
Tatiana, I loved reading your thoughts about laughter. I think I can relate, although you described it much more eloquently than I would be able to.
Comment by hkobeal — March 20, 2010 @ 11:53 pm
Green eggs and ham?
I have an iPhone anyway, so I got the free Kindle reader and I am hooked. I love that it is always there. Today I read in the checkout line, waiting for a haircut, during lunch, in the bathroom…it automatically flips to the last paragraph read, which saves oodles of time. And I don’t have to worry about bringing the paper and ink thing with me.
I get in all kinds of reading time that I would not without this little screen always on hand.
So in theory I agree that reading a book is more satisfying, but given the reality of our hyperdrive existence, the ebook makes reading possible at all.
And yes, I have the scriptures and manuals and hymns there…
Comment by Naismith — March 20, 2010 @ 11:54 pm
Ah, hko, I can RELATE!!! (Seriously, are you me? Just for the record, I’m not posting under two names. :D)
I get a panic oftentimes that I won’t finish all the books I want to read. Especially since I have compiled all those loose papers and napkins with book titles onto one list on goodreads.com…. my husband mocks me mercilessly, because just about every day, I go look at my list and get little spasms of alternating joy and despair. I’m currently reading 4 books and I just can’t get enough.
Tatiana, I love this. It reminds me of a story my mother used to tell about her and her twin sister. They were in the temple, in the prayer circle. My mom got the giggles about some random thing and, with their weird twin connection, was able to put her sister into a fit as well. They were standing there, with my dad between them, trying not to convulse into audible laughter. I think that would have been way more fun than my one experience in the prayer circle.
Comment by Hammie — March 21, 2010 @ 12:18 am
This has interesting implications on missionary work.
And on blogging.
Comment by m&m — March 21, 2010 @ 12:20 am
I know, Naismith, there are so many arguments that make them great. And occasionally, when I’m lugging around my backpack that has three different books, plus my brick-sized Spanish to English dictionary to aid me in reading the book in Spanish, I wish I could condense them down into one nice little flat screen.
But sometimes I also get the urge to push mean people down stairs, and I’ve yet to give into that evil temptation, soo…..
Comment by Hammie — March 21, 2010 @ 12:21 am
Not sure about the spiritual language thing…. but I resonated with the activism idea. Historically, the Relief Society was very– well, activist- in teaching women nursing and other survival skills. I find Relief Society painful and cliquey and would give double tithing if there was something we were working on for the betterment of the world- not only for the betterment but for the building of relationship and friendships through common goals. I suppose that might be my love language… community philanthropy…. but I very frankly find nothing in common with the women whom I attend church with, so having a common goal would be nice. And when I say “attend church with” I mean, we are in the same ward / stake building, but rarly do I hear 2 words from anyone other than the missionaries and / or door greeters.
Comment by spunky — March 21, 2010 @ 1:08 am
Amen to that.
Comment by jen — March 21, 2010 @ 1:21 am
to sign up on Carol Lynn’s mailing list (comes out monthly) go to her website http://www.clpearson.com/ I suggest you email her and ask her to forward you a copy of March’s. Her email address is: clp@clpearson.com
Comment by venus — March 21, 2010 @ 2:01 am
#73 Hammie–ah, so you have a massive goodreads list. I need to see it!
#76 Spunky–”community philanthropy”–love the way you put this.
#78 Venus–thanks!
Comment by hkobeal — March 21, 2010 @ 8:01 am
What a great post idea!
I think some of my spiritual languages are:
-music–not really congregational singing, though. I am with previous posters about the music from “Les Mis!” My little sister and I used to get bored on fast Sundays when we were teenagers, and we couldn’t stand being in the house smelling that good food cooking. So rather than stick around and help my mom, we would go for a long drive with “Les Mis” in the CD player as loud as it could possibly go. We’d drive out to the middle of nowhere (you know, about 20 minutes from SLC) and park the car and just listen. Very spiritual for us.
-poetry–partly why my favorite part of the scriptures is Isaiah. I think this is partly why I was so disappointed by the temple. I have always loved and been very moved by symbolism, and I was told this is what the temple is all about. But somehow watching the ’80s Adam and Eve and sitting in a room with fluorescent lights and wearing itchy, weird-looking clothes just didn’t do it for me. That, and making covenants I felt extremely uncomfortable with and wishing I could just run out of the room.
–being in nature–walking on the beach, canoeing, being in the mountains, sitting by a campfire, all of that. I think there’s a good reason why a lot of prophets got revelations by themselves in the great outdoors.
–being part of social change–being at Pres. Obama’s inauguration was one of the most spiritual moments of my life, and it wasn’t just because I’m a Democrat. I also feel this way pretty often when I am participating in or monitoring relief and development projects in my work. Sometimes on the flight back from whatever country it is, I just feel such an overwhelming sense of peace.
–being around kids–guess it’s a good thing I’ve been in Primary for nearly 8 years! I just think something about their honesty, their innocence, their goodness, is so precious–especially to a natural cynic like me. I can think of few more spiritual moments than the closeness I feel with my daughter after she breastfeeds.
Sadly, it seems most of our church meetings and activities don’t really communicate in my spiritual language. Talks, boring congregational singing, super-sappy testimonies, cutesy crafts, and most scripture stories that I’ve heard 100 times just don’t do it for me.
Comment by Sofia — March 21, 2010 @ 8:45 am
Something I wrote yesterday has been gnawing at me. I would like to amend post # 31. I said:
How wise of our Father in Heaven to provide all these options
in his church.
What I actually believe. and because we can be perfectly honest here, is in his CHURCHES. I actually have a very strong testimony that this is true. We don’t get to say where or when others find their spiritual inspiration, which ironically.was the point of that post.
Comment by IdahoG-ma — March 21, 2010 @ 9:55 am
Here you go, hko.
Lol. I think this is at least the 20th time I’ve posted my goodreads list on fmh.
Comment by Hammie — March 21, 2010 @ 11:48 am
I might have missed it, but I don’t think anyone has mentioned scholarship and research as a spiritual language. That might seem counter-intuitive to a lot of people–sometimes it even seems that way to me!–but I’ve found that one of the best ways for me to be close to God is to make myself familiar with all the nitty gritty details. It makes me think about what I believe and provides opportunity for me to receive spiritual insight. Other than that, communing with nature is high on my list, along with activism and music. Tradition and sentimentality (especially cheesy modern church-related music) really don’t work for me.
Comment by ifrit — March 21, 2010 @ 1:12 pm
Here’s my profile on goodreads
http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/180908
Please friend me if we aren’t already friends!
Comment by Tatiana — March 21, 2010 @ 1:40 pm
Spunky: There’s always humanitarian service, perpetual education fund, and Fast Offerings to give to. To say nothing of working a day at the local Bishop’s Storehouse.
Comment by Mike H. — March 21, 2010 @ 2:41 pm
#83 ifrit- thanks for mentioning that- the scholarship/research link to spirituality. It’s true for me too. Some of the most spiritual experiences I ever had was the hours I spent in the Anatomy and Physiology lab, viewing slides. Some of them took my breath away and brought me to tears over the trouble our Creator took over the smallest of details.
#63 Muir Woods is one of my all-time favorite places. I lived in California for nearly two years.
Comment by Kimberly — March 21, 2010 @ 3:26 pm
Valory- #63 As a matter of fact, I was driven to Muir Woods in desperation on my first visit. My mom is of Native American descent. We learned from our earliest years that trees housed a spirit and were worthy of profound respect. When we needed energy, comfort or stillness, mom would tell us to find a tree and put our bodies against it (that’s seriously what I thought a tree-hugger was when I first heard the expression in California- I said, “Me too”!) and the tree would lend us its strength. I grew up living on a river and across from the Black Forest (a forest so large and dense, that you could hear a pine needle hit the ground) and I spent most of my free time either on the river or in the forest. California was a culture shock for me. Even though it has its own kind of beauty, I was hankering for the forest. One of my bunkmates (I was in the Army) suggested I check out Muir Woods. Because I was feeling so low at the time, I put myself directly inside the redwood tree that is hollowed out (the one you can stand up in) and put my back to its inner core. Those redwoods pack a spiritual wallop, lemme tell ya. That tree was my retreat and I wandered those woods for hours.
BTW- the ocean has the same effect on me. As do large animals- like elephants, whales, Great Danes and horses. One of the reasons I loved living in Provincetown in the summer was going on frequent whale watches.
Comment by Kimberly — March 21, 2010 @ 3:43 pm
Hkobeal, I’m quickly becoming a fan of yours. This was another great post.
My spiritual languages:
- service and kindness (participating, observing, hearing about it, or being the recipient)
- music (especially with good words, which remind me of Christ)
- love and non-judgement of others, empathy
- nature and solitude
Definitely not:
- ritual
- religious hierarchy
- rules (although I know that this is a powerful spiritual language for my mom, and I’m sure others)
Thinking about spiritual languages helps me to better understand people in my life. Thanks for that. One of my biggest goals in life is to learn to truly empathize, and I think this helps.
Comment by the milk (of the gospel) — March 21, 2010 @ 4:22 pm
#81 Idaho Gma–I love the correction/amendment you made to your previous comment. I didn’t notice it originally, but think the “updated version” is beautiful. THanks!
Comment by hkobeal — March 21, 2010 @ 4:30 pm
Hammie, 59. I work at the PSC/CUNY, it falls under the AFT and represents the faculty and staff of the City University of New York.
Comment by BigSister — March 21, 2010 @ 5:54 pm
#85- Mike, I get that- but to me, its all just self-serving… I would rather step out and help people outside the church… I know of a women’s shelter in Utah that virtually NEVER had LDS sponsored help. I understand that people in the church need help too, but com’on– there is a strong message when only the Baptist and Lutheran (minority) congregations are the only ones serving and donating to the local women’s shelter… would it kill a Relief Society to donate a quilt, books or time to help these displaced women and children? Isn’t that what the Relief Society is all about? Or is only about that for the Mormon women and the non-Mormons be damned? This is the issue that I have with a lot of the church– it seems to be self-serving in local cases, and perhaps it should be, but I feel more rewarded and better thanked when I serve in the local community rather than limiting the service to the mormon community.
Comment by spunky — March 21, 2010 @ 6:30 pm
91: All the wards I have been in have so not been like that. We made donations and volunteered at women’s shelters and homeless shelters and hospitals. It always helped when someone who knew about a particular need came to the RS presidency and asked for help. My husband was in the bishopric and part of his calling was working with people who asked for monetary help and a lot of those were not members of the ward, but just people in the community who saw a church and decided to come in and ask for help.
Comment by jen — March 21, 2010 @ 8:20 pm
Spunky: Some of us members do need help at times. I just got a job after 15 months of being out of work, then I lost that job after a few weeks for being a poor fit for it.
And, looking at:
http://www.ldsphilanthropies.org/humanitarian-services/
it’s not just LDS members that get helped.
Comment by Mike H. — March 21, 2010 @ 8:40 pm
Spunky said. “would it kill a Relief Society to donate a quilt, books or time to help these displaced women and children? Isn’t that what the Relief Society is all about?”
argh. That is just crazy. In our area we do all kinds of things for all kinds of people. Our service projects are mostly based in the community outside. Homeless shelters, women’s shelters and workshops, items to the local charities, Good Samaritans…we gift them annually with large donations of food from the Bishop’s storehouse, and other things on our own
( making dinner and taking it to a homeless shelter, gathering clothes, books, ect, making school kits, and hygiene kits,ect.)
I am so surprised someone in the church has such a limited view of the RS around the country/world. How does that happen? Reading the Church News over the years has been a good way to see what is going on out there. Great things for all kinds of people. We don’t live in your bubble.
Self serving? not. at. all.
( in my experience. And if it IS yours, WHY? what are YOU DOING TO GET SERVICE GOING to others? how are you pitching in? )
Even if you live in areas of high LDS concentration there is so much going on there all the time to help people around the globe. Which I miss. But we bloom and help where we are planted.
Comment by Melissa P. — March 22, 2010 @ 12:12 am
ok, spiritual languages.
I am thinking about times I feel the spirit most. Not in order.
1.Music is powerful, but so is quiet. Pondering.
2.Nature…yes, the sea, flowers, trees, leaves, driving around on beautiful days and just exploring, listening, smelling. I wish I liked hiking and camping more. State parks off season…wonderful.
3.Teaching, bearing testimony, doing missionary work. Oh my.
Also being taught, hearing testimony, hearing a convert tell of their change of heart, and change of life from the gospel.
4.Reading/studying ….scriptures, yes, a good commentary can help too…also other people’s writings in which I recognize truth and find insight. Also the power of learning/teaching many things- how we grown incrementally by what we learn.
5.Communicating heart to heart with someone. Learning their history. Caring. Connecting. (and yes, being “one” with my husband has touched me spiritually in profound ways on occasion. amazing. sacred.rare.and very surprising. I wasn’t expecting that at all. )
6.Creating in a variety of ways, using my talents, or enjoying others creations and soaking in their talents. Art museums, singer/songwriter nights, galleries….appreciating a good chef!
7.Serving in small ways, and large ways in large groups, or reading about others who have done it. Grateful for the many ways we can serve in the church, and those throughout the world. Folding someones laundry, helping them with their babies, comforting them through tragedy. God is there.
8. Family history. Wow. Being a convert means I have gotten to do so much. Miracles.
9. Babies. Grandbabies. Fresh from heaven and incredible.
10. The temple. It’s peace and perspective. It’s work. My favorite time? when I veil my face, and I am in a private sanctuary.
11. Prayer/inspiration- thoughts bigger than mine, that come to me in answer to questions or in problem solving. Calm in a storm.
Comment by Melissa P. — March 22, 2010 @ 12:35 am
Thank you for this post.
In no particular order:
1. Music: romantic (= late 19th century/early 20th century) symphonies, many hymns, old madrigals, singing or playing in a polyphonic ensemble.
2. Ritual: I love ordinances of every variety.
3. Being outside, particularly out of the city.
4. Pondering and praying, especially out loud.
5. Family, both immediate and family reunion-scale. Time spent with my wife, children, or both is heavenly, and my expectations of the Celestial Kingdom are largely drawn from Pratt Family Reunions.
6. Physics. I find an enormous amount of divine beauty in knowing what little I do about the way the world works.
I really like this notion, as well as the huge implications for how I can approach talking about the gospel with different friends. Thanks again!
Comment by Ben Pratt — March 22, 2010 @ 2:30 am
Another one: teaching. Watching the light go on in a student’s eyes is very rewarding, but when I really feel engulfed in celestial flames is when the Spirit teaches as I talk in a lesson or sermon. That’s amazing.
Comment by Ben Pratt — March 22, 2010 @ 2:32 am
#94 et al, you guys are in great wards- but I have been missing out. The wards and branches where I have been have never to my knowledge been active in the community- and sure, some church members need help, so I am not discounting that. But I would love to be in a ward or branch where when I announce that I will be serving at a local nursing home or women’s shelter and invite people to come along, that someone will actually join me… so far it has been my experience is that only the missionaries will come along with my husband and myself. Wish I was in your wards!
Comment by spunky — March 22, 2010 @ 3:22 am
#98–my experience sounds more like yours, spunky, than others here. Seems like all our service projects are church humanitarian stuff (which goes first to SLC and then elsewhere) or things that help us help ourselves. I love to hear about us getting out of that box and getting out into the community.
Comment by hkobeal — March 22, 2010 @ 9:20 am
Mine too, Spunky- and I don’t understand it. Our ward is truly wonderful but we isolate ourselves from the larger community, IMO. I do a lot of my service outside the church too- plenty of it in it as well, because I’m Compassionate Service Coordinator. I take my kids out into the community for service opportunities because I’ve always emphasized that we help everyone around us simply because it’s what needs to be done.
Comment by Kimberly — March 22, 2010 @ 9:33 am
Spunky, I’m disappointed that the church can’t help everyone. I worked at the Road Home shelter (in SLC) for a while and a fairly substantial portion of our operating budget comes from the church, including cash money, donated services, gift cards for DI, blankets, etc. to help assist the homeless. It’s not well broadcast and I actually had to ask about the budget to get that information. The church is not about making sure that everyone (media, etc) knows about where they are donating just as we are instructed to do our service quietly.
As for me, I had never thought of applying the Love Languages in a spirtual way but it’s made me think and reflect. I feel the Spirit most strongly through
1. prayer–solitary time when I am able to pray out loud
2. music–I love the primary songs especially. I love to sing and I love to hear music and lyrics speak so clearly to me. The Lord knows this about me and will answer my prayers oftentimes through a song that I will hear either during church or at home.
3. nature–I don’t think I’ve ever felt as close to Heavenly Father as when I am out in the mountains
4. ritual–I grew up Lutheran and also explored the Catholic church for a time. I find rituals incredibly soothing to my soul and I love the temple for that very reason.
Comment by princess jen — March 22, 2010 @ 1:38 pm
I don’t think I have ever thought of ritual as being a spiritual language or something that would help me feel close to the Spirit. Considering that so many have brought it up, I think I will keep that in mind the next time I go to the temple. Maybe it will help me.
Comment by Stephanie — March 22, 2010 @ 1:45 pm
101, great point, Princess Jen. When we give and do in our area we never try to get a photo op or put anything in the paper, other than when the Achievement Day girls made quilts, we did want that for them. Other wards/churches are probably much better at some PR and I don’t think that is a bad thing. We just don’t do it. ( probably because it is too much trouble….)
Comment by Melissa P. — March 22, 2010 @ 2:52 pm