Snacker Recap with Carol Lynn Pearson
Over the past year it has worked out where I have been able to attend some seriously jealousy inducing events. A retreat with the gals from the Exponent and Margaret Toscano and Lorie Winder Stromburg, Sunstone West featuring Claudia Bushman, A leg of the Our Visions Our Voices tour where I got to meet Joanna Brooks, and now a snacker with a private performance by Carol Lynn Pearson. It’s almost embarrassing. It’s like I’m in one of those grad programs where you make your own coursework and find your own mentors and mine happens to be Mormon Womens Studies.
This was a real personal highlight for me, because Carol Lynn has managed something I want with my whole heart to figure out. She appeals to everyone of any Mormon ideological stripe. The feminists love her. The gays and supporters love her. The most mainstream of conservative patriarchy supporters read her poetry and praise her name. She has never been disciplined, or even chastised. I want to walk that line. I want to have my radical feminist bean cake and eat my molly-made green jello too.
I asked Carol Lynn how she accomplished this and with a kind of dismissive sigh, as if there really was no answer, she said, “Well, I guess you could say through some combination of Fortune, Fate, and Fluke. I don’t really know.” I think I know. I think she appeals to everyone because of her intense authenticity. She wears her heart, her guts, her brain on her sleeve. She doesn’t just share her concerns about the church, she publicly shares the most tender experiences of her life, her most sacred testimony. I don’t know a soul who can read Beginnings and say that the writer is an apostate. Carol Lynn is an open heart.
The day started with a little discussion as we talked about what we do around here and our feminist efforts in general. Something we said reminded her of something she wrote recently that she got out and read for us. As a favor for a friend in charge of girls camp, Carol Lynn had written as letter to the girls “on behalf” of Joan of Arc. She sent me home with a copy which I am under instruction to wait to share, but it was so intensely significant to me, and such a treat to hear something new from her. I will just quote this last line to give you a sense of the piece.
Hear me saying to you two things above all: Listen for the Voice of God and never betray the work God has for you.
Then she started the performance of her play Mother Wove the Morning. The snacker invite described there would be a reading, but that is not at all what we got. Carol Lynn performed her guts out for us. I wanted with all my heart to take a picture of her in action, but it was such an intensely intimate time I didn’t dare. She ended and those of us there just sat stunned. It felt blasphemous to clap. It is an incredible, moving, hopeful piece.
Then it was time for the snacker. We had a whole bunch of new arrivals. You can just make out the side of Valory’s face, then there’s Lynette, Keri Brooks, Petra, Seraphine and TopHat.
Here is Kelly Ann and Carol Lynn, and poor Mike H. didn’t make it in a picture because he had the misfortune of sitting next to me on the same side of the camera. LRC and her husband and adorable children, and Jenne and her mom aren’t pictured either. I think by the time I remembered my camera they had all headed home.
Pleasure is just not a big enough word to describe this wonderful day. It was restorative. It made it almost worth moving. Although I should be careful what I say about that. I haven’t met Laurel Thatcher Ulrich yet, maybe if I keep shooting my mouth off the Lord will make us move to Boston.
Cool. Thanks for sharing.
Comment by Chris H. — June 28, 2010 @ 7:04 pm
I fell in love with Carol Lynn many years ago when I read Goodbye, I Love You. As in like romantic love.
Thanks for the report.
Comment by Kevin Barney — June 28, 2010 @ 7:09 pm
:::SIGH::: Ahh, to be a fly on the wall…
Comment by Kathy — June 28, 2010 @ 7:13 pm
Ah, someone noticed that besides me!
I didn’t go to the reading, but I did go to the snacker. The book does look interesting. I would have liked to see CLP’s interpretation of Marie Curi & Queen Christina of Sweden, 2 of the most brilliant women in intellect, IMHO.
I was familiar some with Goodbye, I Love You in the nutshell. CLP didn’t say anything about that. She did continue on with the theme of No More Goodbyes, dealing with how the Church & others have demonized the GLBT community so much that people are committing suicide over their same sex attraction issues.
I related how I was saddened by the deaths of guys I knew in High School from AIDS in the years following, before the Cocktails to extend life for those with AIDS came along. I also mentioned the gal I dated at BYU some after my mission who later came out as well.
CLP said she had made some contacts with some Church Leaders when Prop 8 support was first announced, stating her concern that it would throw away the good will towards the Church by many. I think she’s was right on with that observation.
Lorian: You really missed something along the lines of your activism!
Don’t do that, Reese!
You’re still unpacking from the last move, right?
Comment by Mike H. — June 28, 2010 @ 7:14 pm
I am (Jello) green with envy.
Comment by CatherineWO — June 28, 2010 @ 9:52 pm
Yay! I was so hoping for a recap of the CLP retreat. It sounds like it was wonderful. I’ll have to go read Women I Have Known and Been to console myself.
This is very true. IMO, she is the epitome of feminist and faithful.
Sidenote: do you know anything about the picture on the wall in the bottom photo? I swear the child in it is a portrait of my 3 year old.
Is anyone going to fill us in on the Idaho snacker?
Comment by Stephanie — June 28, 2010 @ 11:08 pm
Mike H. -
Wish I could have been there, Mike!
And that’s a gorgeous pic of you, Reese!
Comment by Lorian — June 28, 2010 @ 11:54 pm
Reese, thank-you so much for the update! You look so beautiful and happy, and Carol Lynn…well, I just want to hug her when I see her. I am so bummed I could not be there, but am hoping one day to meet Carol Lynn and some of the amazing women here on fMh. I’m so glad it was such a wonderful experience for those who attended!! Here’s hoping a snacker comes my way, soon!
Comment by Perri — June 29, 2010 @ 1:17 am
Stephanie -
The top half of that painting is in Reese’s ‘me and my hero’ photo above. I’m pretty sure it’s her kids as done by Trevor Southey. At least it looks like his work and the subjects look right to me.
Comment by LRC — June 29, 2010 @ 1:17 am
You’re right LRC. I asked Carol Lynn about it because the picture had me captivated all night. I was unfamiliar with Trevor Southey, so she explained that he likes to float objects in his paintings, so she asked for her old rocking chair to be depicted, and then they have a sapling growing out of her sons shoulder that forms a circle to an acorn. It’s a really striking piece.
Comment by Reese Dixon — June 29, 2010 @ 1:31 am
Interesting. I would love to see the whole picture up close.
Comment by Stephanie — June 29, 2010 @ 1:35 am
thanks for sharing about this, Reese. You look beautiful. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there but I’m happy I got the ball rolling on this, anyway. xo
Comment by jeannine — June 29, 2010 @ 7:53 am
I’ve spoken with Carol Lyn a couple of times. She truly has a remarkable and generous soul. I’m about in the middle of No More Goodbyes. It’s a book that must be read and absorbed carefully. Full of wisdom.
Comment by annegb — June 29, 2010 @ 11:03 am
Reese you look great! Sounds like a fabulous night. Would love to read more about Carol Lyn. Going on the summer-break-from-grad-school reading list
Comment by Bobby Pin Natalie — June 29, 2010 @ 11:55 am
Looks like it was a wonderful affair. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be there!!
Comment by meems — June 29, 2010 @ 12:40 pm
amazing! wish I could have been there!
Comment by G — June 29, 2010 @ 12:54 pm
.
Man. Everyone I know was there. Cleary when I emailed Carol last week I should have dropped a hint for an invite. If only I had known there was something to be invited to!
Comment by Th. — June 29, 2010 @ 1:54 pm
.
Wait. Is it appropriate or inappropraite to use ‘man’ as an interjection on fMh?
Comment by Th. — June 29, 2010 @ 2:00 pm
That depends, was in an interjection or a swear word.
I kid, I kid.
Comment by Reese Dixon — June 29, 2010 @ 2:19 pm
Please share the Joan of Arc letter when you are able - would love to read it!
Comment by Sally — June 29, 2010 @ 3:24 pm
Carol Lynn is truly as amazing as she seems from afar. I’ve been lucky enough to know her from a-near for many decades, and I marvel more and more as the years pass. Perhaps what I admire most of all is that her huge capacity to love and give is in high gear just about all the time. Despite the great ongoing public persona that makes major contributions through her work, there is the private Carol Lynn who takes a battered wife into her home for a month, or leads her grand-daughters into S.F. to hand out sandwiches and sing ballads to the homeless, or visits the sick in her ward, or calls up a distant friend to tell a good joke. To my knowledge, she has never once betrayed the work she was given to do. Worried, yes, wept and wondered , but most of all worked. And never betrayed.
Comment by CroneUp — June 29, 2010 @ 6:42 pm
Yes, that portrait of Carol Lynn’s children was striking and beautiful. It hangs on the wall right over her grand piano, which she was playing when I knocked on the door. One unique aspect of this gathering was the fact that we were being entertained in the home of a very well-known person, but it felt so totally natural and comfortable to be there with her. We had a good conversation; one thing that Carol Lynn asked us was, as “Mormon Feminists,” what exactly are we doing outside of blogging and get-togethers? I think she was calling us to action. She has set a good example over the years by personally contacting bishops, stake presidents, and even general authorities when she sees a wrong that needs to be righted. She also encouraged us to attend the upcoming outreach meeting between the LDS and GLBT communities, which will be held at 7:00 p.m. on Tuesday, July 6th at the ward building, 1501 Walnut Street in Berkeley, CA.
Comment by Valory — June 29, 2010 @ 8:56 pm
Thanks for giving us another reason to hope.
Comment by Sterling Fluharty — June 29, 2010 @ 10:36 pm
love it love it love it! seeing mother wove the morning performed at BYU in 92 (i think) was one of the highlights of my mormon feminist life. go CLP, go FMH, go reese dixon!
Comment by joanna — June 30, 2010 @ 1:16 am
Sounds like an amazing time…I would also love to learn how to walk that line of Gospel faithfulness while incorporating my concerns for women in the church (which I happen to believe affects men for the worse as well). I’m doing the best I can with it, but it would be nice to have inside advice on how to be heard without coming off as apostate or just being dismissed as rebellious and disobedient. Actually, I’m managing well enough not to be labelled as any of those things yet…but, I think I do experience the condescension towards converts at times- the look full of pity for the convert who just doesn’t “get it”, when the truth is, I get it just fine, I just don’t agree with certain things and never will.
Comment by Kimberly — June 30, 2010 @ 7:11 am
So, so sad that I missed it.
It sounds like it was a genuinely incredible experience. Thanks for sharing. (I really should have dragged my butt over there, but after driving all day, my big stomach and I just couldn’t move…)
Comment by Corktree — July 1, 2010 @ 11:48 pm
I grew up in Walnut Creek and attended the Walnut Creek First Ward. My family spent a few years in Brazil, and then we moved back to Wanut Creek just in time for me to have a quite rebellious senior year of high school.
CLP was moving into the Walnut Creek area as I was struggling with my faith as a 17 year old. I never knew her .. never met her .. And yet, there are so many people that she has mentioned that I do know.
I enjoy her writings immensely, but I have to admit to a certain extra joy in reading her dust cover bio and seeing familiar names. Familiar names of women who were so significant to my life as a child. I can never thank those women for being a part of my childhood. I took them for granted. I thought that they had nothing better to do with their lives than to teach my primary class, or lead a Merrie Miss mid-week activity. They cheerfully put up with the obnoxious little person that I was.
Seeing some of those people acknowledged makes me feel that God is in His Heavan and All is Right with the World.
Comment by Win Marsh — July 3, 2010 @ 12:17 am