Earthly Parents —> Heavenly Parents
As many of you are probably aware, it’s Primary Program season again, and as chorister in a Primary with few children and fewer resources, I have been asked, among other things, to say a few words to “pad” the program. My topic is “What does it mean to you to be a Child of Heavenly Parents?” (Okay it said “Heavenly Father,” but we’ll skim over that for now.) I took the opportunity to sit down and really try to articulate exactly what being a child of Heavenly Parents means to me, and I found that it was much easier to do if I drew some comparisons with my earthly parents. Let me share a couple and then I’ll tell you what I think I learned.
1) My earthly parents are good people, and I like to think that some of that goodness has rubbed off on me. Thinking of my Heavenly Parents, and their limitless and eternal goodness reminds me that if even the tiniest bit of that divine goodness is in my nature, then I must have the potential to be a much better person than I am.
2) My earthly parents love me even when I make mistakes, and even when I don’t love myself very much, but even the love of earthly parents is surpassed by the divine, unconditional love of our Heavenly Parents. Thinking about this helps me to remember that I am worth loving, even when I make mistakes.
3) My earthly parents support, encourage, and comfort me, especially when things are difficult. My parents always supported me in trying new things, and cheered me on when I thought I could never swim faster or master calculus (still haven’t mastered calculus…). They were also there to comfort me when friends died, and to care for me when I got very sick. Our Heavenly Parents sometimes seem far away, but they, too, are cheering for us in all we do, and want to hold us when we need comfort. When times get very hard, thinking of our Heavenly Parents can sometimes be the greatest comfort of all.
4) My earthly parents taught me what home feels like, and how good it feels to go back there. I have always loved to go on trips—to see new places and meet new people. But I have also always loved going home again, to sit on my mother’s bed and tell her all about everything I had seen and done. I hope someday my children will feel as loved and protected and happy at home as I did growing up. In many ways, this life is like an extended trip away from our home with our Heavenly Parents. Thinking of our Home in heaven makes me want to make it back there, to tell my Heavenly Parents about all the things I learned and did here, and all the things I saw, and all the people I met.
It was the home thing that did it for me. I have no real idea of what heaven might feel like, but since “home can be a heaven on earth,” I suspect heaven must feel very much like home. This train of thought led to a mini “a-ha” moment for me, an aspect of parenthood we don’t seem to focus on in the Church (at least, I don’t remember ever having heard it).
Usually parenthood is discussed as being so important because parents are stewards to the spirit children of our Heavenly Parents, or because becoming parents allows us to participate in creation, drawing as near to Godhood in this life as we can. What struck me, however, is that parents aren’t just care-takers or stewards, they are an analogy. Parents are the most direct approximation we have in this life to our Heavenly Mother and Father, and therefore, parents are, in large part, how we know (and how our children will know) God. How’s that for pressure?
If we take this thought train one stop further, motherhood becomes so much more important (not that it wasn’t important before) because our earthly mothers are the only hints we get about the nature and characteristics of our Heavenly Mother. We have scriptures a’plenty about HF, but on the HM front, there is only silence, hope….and Mom.
I think this is true, and I think we subconsciously believe this, in any event. I know I did. My father was very strict, authoritarian, judgmental, and disapproving. For a long time, I thought Heavenly Father must be exactly the same way. It gave me a very skewed outlook on things.
Comment by Sue — November 4, 2005 @ 2:36 am
You can start to comprehend your relation with Heavenly Father with your Earthly Parents up to a point. They are imperfect, make mistakes (especially when chastising the wrong sibling
I would better characterise it when my father, despite his obvious failings, provided loving counsel, care, protection and understanding. I imagine that a perfect Father would treat me in this manner. Yes, our earthly parents could be modelled after a Heavenly parentage. But it is important to consider that the Eternal Father is way more perfect that any of us.
Comment by AG — November 4, 2005 @ 6:04 am
When I am in my more rational moments, I try to “parent” my own kids based on what I think would be the reaction of our Heavenly Parents. After my first baby was born, and I came across some kind of parenting question, I would literally ask myself, “What would Heavenly Mother do?” It reminds me of that scene from Manhattan:
“You think you’re God!”
“I gotta model myself after someone.”
Comment by meems — November 4, 2005 @ 8:04 am
I like the analogy a lot. Of course it’s not perfect because all people on Earth, save One, are not perfect; but are Heavenly Mother and Father are perfect and ideal, so in terms of the analogy, we’re (you’re) making the comparison on the ideal, but an ideal knowable from our (remembered) experience. We can apply that experience to what we don’t currently know about our Heavenly Parents and learn a lot.
What I want to know is, does this mean Heavenly Mother laughs her guts out while watching Shrek?
Comment by Artemis — November 4, 2005 @ 10:13 am
Artemis,
That is exactly what it means. It also means she has very soft hands.
Comment by Athena — November 4, 2005 @ 10:19 am
Thank you, I really enjoyed what you wrote.
Comment by karen8 — November 4, 2005 @ 2:17 pm
I was fortunate to have tremendous examples in my parents, and so the analogy that you brought forth Athena fits for me. However, I think Sue raised a good point when she spoke of her ideas of Heavenly Father being skewed because of her experiences with her earthly father. Not all children in the church get to experience positive figures in their parents. Thus, for some, they have to gain that knowledge and experience outside of the home.
But I do agree with you in that it should create in us a desire to be the best parents we can be so that our children can learn. Perhaps that is one of the greatest lessons we can learn in this lifetime.
Comment by aisy — November 5, 2005 @ 2:23 am
Awsome post!! What a great thought. I love the comment about Heavenly Mother. Although she is not directly mentioned, you know she is there.
Awsome thought. It really got me thinking.
Comment by jennifer — November 5, 2005 @ 1:32 pm
One time as i was driving away from my parents house with my husband just after we had been married, I had this overwhelming realization of how much my parents loved me. I cannot obviously explain this experience, but the notion and picture in my mind of my father AND mother together thinking, praying, and doing so much for me even when they are away from me hit me so hard. I felt the amazing power that their love had and the powerful impact it has had on me. When one feels that one knows she cannot fail.
This experience helped me grow much nearer to God and when I say that I mean both of them together. All they do is together. I know they both are aware of me and care for me the same way my parents do.
This analogy, thought not perfect as mentioned, is a powerful thought. So true……
Comment by jennifer — November 5, 2005 @ 1:35 pm
Karen8 and Jennifer, thank you right back
Aisy says:
Aisy, I think here you’ve gotten at the heart of what I meant to say (though perhaps I wasn’t very clear). I’m not saying that we necessarily should look to our parents for understanding of our Heavenly Parents, I’m saying that we very often do, and that being the case, as we become parents ourselves, what do we do about this?
Because Sue is absolutely right. Our parents have such influence on us that they can also negatively impact our thoughts on Divine Parents. This problem is, I think, unavoidable when we use words like “Father” (a human concept adn relationship) to describe God and our relationship with God. The only fathers and mothers we have direct experience with are human fathers and mothers, and our relationships with these fathers and mothers directly translate (often unawares) into our ideas of what our relationships with a Heavenly father or mother might be. It’s a very powerful trick of language. Thus, the analogy itself doesn’t fail, the humans on this side of it do.
Sometimes, though, the language works in another way: Tacking the word “Heavenly “onto the words “father or “mother” prompts us to think of the fathers and mothers we’ve known, and imagine them without imperfections. Thus “Heavenly Mother” might equal “Mom perfected” in our mind’s eye. We can hope for the analogy to work this way most often, because it’s a little less nerve wracking to think our children will be able to amplify and project our good points rather than our imperfections.
Comment by Athena — November 5, 2005 @ 9:20 pm
I know I have a Heavenly Mother. Why, because I know I have a Heavenly Father. I believe I was nurtured by their side in my first primeval childhood and spent equal or more quality time with my Heavenly Mother. I know She is equal to my Heavenly Father in glory, perfection, compassion, wisdom and holiness. How do I know for sure? My language is inadequate to express. I just know it.
Comment by Patrick, 12Dec09
Comment by Patrick Abernathy — December 12, 2009 @ 11:50 pm